tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76946893372644959792024-03-12T23:56:56.984+00:00ON THE BENCHKofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.comBlogger197125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-20179101079267591632016-07-18T20:32:00.000+01:002016-07-18T20:38:15.157+01:00My Euro 2016 - Unbelievable Jeff, Human Tsunami and the Brexit Cafe<div class="MsoNormal">
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<b><i>So that’s it, Euro 2016 is over. In truth, not too many tears will be
shed as a bit like this blog, the whole tournament was pretty underwhelming,
and only punctuated with brief bits of quality.
As much of the football has been forgotten I will instead write a few
words about my Euro 2016 experience which may have been slightly more
interesting!<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>I actually landed tickets for what turned out to be the quite a good
game between Croatia Vs Czech Republic in Saint Etienne but thankfully this was
trumped by my friend Rob having snaffled tickets for both the Quarter Final in
Paris and the Semi Final in Marseilles.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>A quick glance at my wall chart told me that both of these games were
for the right hand side of the draw. This in essence meant that for me to see
England play in Paris they would have to finish 2<sup>nd</sup> in their
group. This was clearly never going to
happen as England were expected to top the group in comfortable fashion.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>However, England did the inevitable and made a right pig’s ear of
things and finished 2<sup>nd</sup> behind Wales. A game against Portugal
beckoned only for a last minute Iceland goal in their final game to set up a
tie with England. So as we saw it, the footballing gods had conspired to ensure
that England only had to beat Iceland to mean that I would get to see them in
Paris.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>I don’t need to remind anyone what happened in that game. So down to
that diabolical performance I would instead be watching France vs Iceland at
Saint Denis, Paris.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>Prior to that though, on Saturday, the day of our arrival, was the
Germany vs Italy game so we headed over to the fan park under the Eiffel Tower
to sink a few beers and take in some of the atmosphere. The game itself was
hardly a classic and with the game heading towards 90 minutes, it was clear
that extra time beckoned.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>Now anyone who knows me that well (which is not that many of you) will
know that I have had some possible nearish death experiences such as the Asian
Hillsborough, near Death on Death Road in Bolivia and also the Tsunami scare in
Thailand.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>Little did I know that another would be added to the list as a Human
Tsunami all of a sudden appeared out of nowhere and starting charging towards
us, with hundreds of people falling to the ground. I managed to stumble to
safety whilst Rob managed to turn into Usain Bolt and spring it out the park<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>A quick look around suggested to me it was a false alarm so I wanted to
watch the extra time and penalties. Rob was less certain so I arranged to meet
him again after the game<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>This didn’t seem to make the news everywhere so to prove I am not fibbing,
here’s footage of what actually happened.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>The next day was the France vs Iceland game so we did a bit of walking
around and saw some of the sights. Bizarrely, in the morning, Jermaine Defoe
made a brief appearance to serve us breakfast!<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>Prior to leaving the hotel, a news article alerted us to the fact that
a suspect package had been detonated outside the stadium, just exactly the news
that we wanted to hear.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>The game itself was right at the other end of Paris and the weather
took a turn for the worst as approached the stadium. As expected, security was
tight so had to go through about five security searches before being let in which
was understandable<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>The stadium was better than I had anticipated, and Rob had landed
absolutely plum seats, right in amongst the French fans. Fantastic atmosphere
and a goal fest to boot with a rampant French side putting aside a plucky
Iceland side 5-2. Queue wild
celebrations in Paris.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>The next day I covered a bit more of Paris and caught up with my old
flat mate Ryan for some food in the Latin Quarter. I then managed to
successfully sprint it back to see the Arc de Triomphe in all its glory.
Beautiful<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>The next day we headed to Marseilles via the train to watch the Germany
vs France semi-final. The apartment we
stayed in was as French as they come, and was being let out of French artist,
who we never actually had to meet thanks to the wonders of Air B and B. The
apartment was in a really nice area called Le Panier, if you think of a
Shoreditch/Camden type area except with less beards and skinny jeans.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>A short stroll from the Old Port area I was hoping to catch up on some
Chair Throwing Olympics as seen on the news a couple of weeks earlier but with
few English and Russian fans, things were pretty serene. We did pay a trip to the Queen Victoria pub
as of course we had to. </i></b></div>
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<b><i>However, drowning our sorrows over England’s terrible
performance was not particular cheap as the pound had taken a battering after
Brexit. Talking of which, we saw this
place there just to rub my nose in it even more.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>Having arrived a little late we didn’t managed to get any food until
after 10pm and the initial restaurant actually was unable to serve us food so
we moved to the next one we could find. As we were tucking in, Rob mentioned
that he had heard a group of lads shout out the name Chris Kamara. I looked over and there was the moustachio’d
legend, cunningly disguised in a trilby<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>Being the loser that I am, I immediately rushed over for a photo and a
quick chat. “What did you make of England?” I asked him. “Well there where shit
weren’t they” was his retort.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>I went back to finish off my meal and it seemed that one of the lads he
was chatting to was from Norway. “ I signed a Norweigan once when I was a
manager” said Kamara, “And he was shit”. Classic Kammy!<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>The next day we did a bit more sightseeing and ventured up to the local
cathedral to get some great views of the city as you can see below. At night time, we buried a few more beers
with the big game just 24 hours away<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>The next day we went to see one of the Islands of the Count of Monte
Cristo fame (look it up) and caught some rays. A slight panic ensued when we
returned to find we could not get in the flat but we managed to sort it out to
make sure we picked up the tickets, although we were unsure if we would be able
to get back in after we returned from the game. Boy do I love a bit of drama.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>The Velodrome was again quite from us so we decided to get the tube
there. However, poor organisation meant that the tube became quickly
overcrowded and before you know it, I was close to succumbing to another human
tsunami. At least 10 tubes went past
which were so packed that not one person could get on. Rob decided to pull rank
so we gave up and instead walked the rest of the way which turned out to the
right decision as it allowed us to have a couple of beers on the way and soak
up some of the atmosphere.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>A ridiculous walk eventually got us inside the stadium and again we had
some great seats and we surrounded by a mixture of both French and German
fans. </i></b></div>
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<b><i>The game itself was largely dominated
by the Germans but the game turned when the penalty was awarded in the 45<sup>th</sup>
minute. I would say that about 99% of the people inside the stadium did not
know why it was given but Griezemann notched and he added another just after
the break to seal the win. I would say that without doubt it was one of the
best atmospheres that I have been involved in (not quite topping WBA vs Palace
though in 2000) and arguably we had seen the biggest game of the tournament. The French squad finished with a nice rendition
of the Volcano Clap<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BHmxNeVBFMa/?taken-by=sjpatel212&hl=en">https://www.instagram.com/p/BHmxNeVBFMa/?taken-by=sjpatel212&hl=en</a></i></b></div>
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<b><i>We headed back into town and the streets were really pumping. The walk
was pretty long but we managed to sink a few beers with the locals, although
most of them seem partied out. The German fans had also disappeared pretty
quickly after their defeat but fair play to the majority that stayed out.<o:p></o:p></i></b><br />
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<b><i>Of course, there were some English fans as well, here with a rendition of the Kolo/Yaya Toure classic</i></b><br />
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<b><i>So that’s it, my Euro 2016 excursion was over. Probably the first and last football and
tournament I will be going to. Qatar and Russia? Do me a favour!<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>On a personal note, it’s time to hang up my boots with regards to this
blog. It’s been a fun 10 years but it’s now time to consign this to the
footballing cemetery in the sky.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>Thanks for reading!<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>Sunil<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b><i>(P.S I had to omit some of the details of what actually happened as
this is a family friendly blog!)<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-48643399236826427682016-06-30T21:50:00.002+01:002016-06-30T21:50:45.787+01:00Why were England so sh*t?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So where on earth did that clusterfuck of an England
performance come from?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Roy Hodgson said that he did not really see THAT performance
coming (a bit like a certain referendum result I am sure). But should he really have been surprised
given England’s form in the his tenure and also their previous history in
knockout tournaments? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>The Manager<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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“I am not sure what I am really doing here” derided a rather
fragile Hodgson in the press conference after the game. I think it’s called
accountability Roy….<o:p></o:p></div>
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Anyway, the manager has to take his fair share of blame for
the shambles in this tournament. I actually have a lot of respect for Roy for
the sterling work he did at West Bromwich Albion that he did at the Hawthorns
at his short time there. He saved us from relegation as well as providing us
with the platform to go on and secure mid-table safety.<o:p></o:p></div>
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He also did an admirable job at Fulham in the Premier League
as well as carving out a reasonable if not spectacular career in the European
Leagues. However, he has had notable failures, his main one being an ill-fated
stint at Liverpool.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Did this failure show that when handling top players at a
top level, he simply was not able to reach the required standard? Roy is very
good at getting a group of semi-decent players organised into a certain way of
playing and being hard to beat. However, when handling a bunch of players with
slightly better ability and with egos bigger than their pay packets does he
have the ability and skill to get the best out of these players on the big
level? Does he quite simply have a
ceiling on the level he can manage at?<o:p></o:p></div>
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He successfully navigated an easy group but the performances
in both tournaments have been telling (I won’t include Euro 2012 as he was
thrown in at the deep end)<o:p></o:p></div>
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In his time at the helm had he forged a certain way of
playing so that the team understand where and how to function? Looking at a side like Germany and Italy it
seems that whichever players they have, the players seem to know what to do. This
is meant to be the worst Italian side in history yet each player seems to know
their exact role in the team.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Hodgson tinkered with his team before the tournament
(remember the shambolic diamond experiment against Portugal) and even during
the group games did not know his best team.
How can that really be possible. Minor tweaks I can understand but I don’t
think he even knew his best 15, let alone first 11. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This must be one of the reasons for the players against
Iceland having no idea, no game plan and looking like a bunch of Sunday league
part timers.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Picking out of form
players<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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The age old problem of picking names over players in form
reared its ugly head. Danny Drinkwater was outstanding for Leicester but could
not get in ahead of sicknote Jack Wilshere. Andros Townsend, who has shown his
class for England before and finished strongly for Newcastle could not get in
ahead of Sterling, a man whose confidence levels have dipped more strongly than
his currency levels this week. Why the
f*ck do managers keep doing this?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Rooney<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Rooney had a shocker against Iceland but I personally don’t
blame him, I blame the manager. Rooney had to either start as a main striker or
not at all. Rooney has been used
sparingly for Manchester United in midfield but should not have been starting
in the position for England having never played their in any of the qualifiers.
The guy doesn’t have the engine for that position nor the experience.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Granted, Iceland are hardly Brazil but people have to
understand that you are still playing at the highest level. When has Rooney
ever been in the position as a midfielder where he has to grab hold of the game
pull it out the bag for England. He never has! No wonder he completely went to
shit!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Harry Kane on set
pieces<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Just how the f*ck can there not be another player in the
England team who can take a corner or free kick??!?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Creative players<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Where is the new Gazza?
When are we going to produce someone who can actually dribble, beat a
player and control a game? Last time we did that we had Paul Scholes and we
shoved him on the left wing for Christ’s sake.
Whilst other teams have a Payet, an Ozil or a Hazard we look to the
bench and we have Jordan F*cking Henderson or James Milner. Need I say anymore<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Are English players
just too thick and too insular?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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The usual excuses
seem to have all run their course and since 1966 it seems like England have
tried nearly everything without ever really looking like making a major imprint
on the world stage. We have tried English managers, foreign managers,
youth, experience, pragmatism and also attacking football. We failed in hot
countries, in cold countries, we have taken teams to isolated camps, we have
taken teams to integrated areas. So is there some underlying reason for
England's failure that we are all missing out on? Is there a reason that we are
just perhaps not very good?<o:p></o:p></div>
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If someone could
answer that million pound question then I am sure it would have been done
already and England would be World Cup Winners but personally think that one
reason for England's failure to perform in big tournaments could be what I
would deem to be lack of intelligence.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Footballers need many
qualities and abilities for their profession. Physical strength, skill,
speed and perhaps an often ignored attribute...intelligence. In all forms
of life, intelligent people are generally good decision makers, find solutions
and more often than not, remain calm under pressure. <o:p></o:p></div>
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How often have we
seen in major tournaments England's perceived lack of game management, naivety
and in general, their lack of awareness on how to win games. How often have we
bemoaned their lack of ability to maintain possession or to close a game out?<o:p></o:p></div>
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I think my
intelligence argument has been heightened by looking at some of the punditry on
the TV this year. Maybe I am just a sucker for a foreign accent but don't all
the foreign footballers just sound more intelligent than England's? The likes
of Bilic, Matthaus and Petit have offered inciteful analysis as opposed to
someone like Alan Shearer who will generally stated “it’s just not good enough”.<o:p></o:p></div>
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On the other hand, the
likes of Henry, Vialli and Kompany all seem to speak with a certain wit, widsom
and smartness which embarrasses the likes of Savage, Shearer and such like.
In fact, I would go as so far as to say that even their English is better
than the British nationals themselves.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Could anyone else
imagine a Rio Ferdinand, a John Terry, a David Beckham or a Wayne Rooney going
onto Brazilian TV and getting involved with the banter with Fernanda Lima. I
don't think so. These guys can barely put three words together in their
own language, let alone a foreign tongue.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Associated with this
is the lack of English players going abroad to other countries. You can
probably count on one hand the amount of English players who have gone abroad
in the last thirty years. The challenge of integrating into another culture,
learning a new language, embracing different styles and opinions is a challenge
which has not been befitting of many of the current crop of English players and
dare I say requires a certain level of intelligence and know how.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Whilst I know England
as a whole struggles with languages, how wonderful is it to see other players
from foreign countries quickly assimilating into other cultures and fitting
into their lifestyle. Patrick Vieria, Gus Poyet, and Gianluca Vialli for
example, when they first came to England could not speak a word of
English but within a couple of years were speaking extremely fluently.
And what do we get from English footballers in their post match
interviews? "At the end of the day it was a tough game....etc etc."
Hardly the most inspiring of words.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So how does this lack
of intelligence and awareness possibly translate to the pitch? I think
game management would be the main area, as it appears that English players only
appear to know how to play the English way. Often it is derided.."Why
can't we play like Spain, Germany etc?". But this is not something you can
just switch on and off, it's something which can only be learnt by playing with
these players in different countries, gaining a deeper understanding of what
makes them tick, how they play their football.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I'm not suggest that
all footballers must be contestants on Countdown every week but perhaps a bit
more footballing "education" (that's a nine letter word btw) would
not go amiss and may help England finally perform better at tournaments in
future.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Right, this has been an extremely boring article so to cheer
you up here is a reminder of how things could be a lot worse if this man was in
charge of anything…..albeit maybe more entertaining!</div>
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<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/iWIUp19bBoA/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/iWIUp19bBoA?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
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<b><i>Sunil<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-57213041261960782842016-06-28T17:20:00.001+01:002016-06-28T17:20:33.565+01:00Brexit Part Deux : Escape from the Euros<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-N8Y0iSUqHPA/V3KhLlQ3vWI/AAAAAAAAA_M/5CFJpVoxSNMzevleqKno6nJX0MLBLDVGACLcB/s1600/Roy-Hodgson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-N8Y0iSUqHPA/V3KhLlQ3vWI/AAAAAAAAA_M/5CFJpVoxSNMzevleqKno6nJX0MLBLDVGACLcB/s320/Roy-Hodgson.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;">England 1 -2 Iceland<span style="font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Hey everyone! How we all
feeling today!? Hasn't this just been the best week ever?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Apologies for the lack of
updates, I would like to have a good excuse for you but I have generally just
been pissing about and taking procrastination to a whole new level in this
longer than unexpected period of unemployment. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">However, I have now
awakened from my slumber after a tumultuous week for England, both in the
football and political world and will now begin my scathing assessment of
Ingerland’s defeat to the small supermarket nation, one of the surprise
packages of the tournament so far. I will also intersperse with the best
reactions and comments I have seen on Twitter and Instagram for your enjoyment.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">As per each game so far,
the pre match tunnel highlighted a slightly psychopathic Joke Hart screaming and
shouting like some Zulu Warrior whilst the Icelandic XI alongside him appeared
well…ice cool. I have commented on Hart’s antics before and I am not sure why
he gets so hyped up before the games. Could you imagine Messrs Cech, De Gea or
Neuer getting into such a fret against a team of part timers, I seriously doubt
it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Anyhow, the game started
in positive fashion with Sterling once again taking a tumble this week and
Rooney slotting home the resulting penalty with aplomb to leave England looking
firmly in control . I bet Boris Johnson sure would have loved seeing England in control...for all of 1 minute away.... I’m sure most people sitting at home thought that this was
the perfect start, Iceland would have to come out the shell and this would
leave England with the spaces to try and exploit the gaps.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</i></b></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><b><i>“By losing to
Iceland, England have exited a European institution amid shame twice in one
week. At least they are consistent”</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;">Whilst the rest of the us
were sitting calculating exactly how many politicians had resigned from Jeremy
Corbyn’s cabinet, the England defence were caught napping as a long throw from
the Icelandic Rory Delap led to </span><span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;">Ragnar
Sigurdsson smashing the ball in from close range. Cue massive celebrations in
the supermarket aisles from the Icelandic fans.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</i></b></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><b><i>“I hope
England give the job to someone Polish”</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">With my pre-match bet of
less than 3 goals already looking like it was in tatters a slightly uneasy
feeling was beginning to grow inside of me, a bit similar to when the first few
results came in from the EU referendum. Surely the unthinkable couldn’t
happen….could it?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Well dreams slowly began
to turn into a nightmare as a shocking error from Hart led to Iceland taking
the lead through Kolbeinn Sigthorsson after some fine interplay on the edge of
the England penalty box.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Fair to say though that I
wasn’t the only person who was surprised by this goal…nice one Schteve…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/carly.t.catherine/videos/10157049589060322/">https://www.facebook.com/carly.t.catherine/videos/10157049589060322/</a></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">In all truth, the rest of
the game is a bit of a blur other than exchanging messages with friends alongside
the lines of “How shit is this performance” and “England are fucking awful.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">All I can really remember
is Iceland having the best chances of the game, Kane taking useless set pieces,
Rooney falling over and every single England player seemingly having the Yips. I think its fair to say that this was without doubt one of the worst English performances of all time at a major tournament. Shambolic, inept, gutless and quite frankly pathetic.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> <b><i>
</i></b></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><b><i>“Imagine if
England had to face one of the big guns like Asda or Tesco”</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Minor chances came and
went and the last throw of the dice came when England’s captain was withdrawn
to his obvious fury. To be fair to the incoming Rashford though, he probably did
more in 4 minutes then the rest of the England team did for the previous 86<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--></i></b><span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><b><i>“England still
allows freedom of movement…in the penalty area”</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">All that was left for the
rather pathetic players to collapse to the turf in agony (or was it embarrassment)
and Hodgson to read out a pre-written statement saying that he had the best
time of his life and thanks for the £10 million he had trousered (or something like that).<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 13.8px; text-indent: -24px;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"><b><i> </i></b></span></span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 13.8px; text-indent: -24px;"><b><i>“97% of the Iceland's population were celebrating, the other 3% were on the pitch”</i></b></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">So that’s it…the end of
another tournament for England and this time the players could not even be
bothered to make it to penalties. Perhaps it’s better this way, at least they didn’t
get our hopes up.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><b><i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">"Rooney earns £330,000 per week, Iceland has a population of 330,000"</span></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">All of which means I will
now be watching Iceland vs France on Monday in Paris which thankfully means I
can shelve having to wear full body armour and a gum shield which can only be a
good thing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Tomorrow, I will try and
assess why it is that England are still monumentally shit at tournament
football, so look out for that!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="background: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Sunil</span><span style="color: #252525;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></i></b></div>
Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-58262332291215865872016-06-20T18:29:00.001+01:002016-06-20T18:30:09.416+01:00Love Island vs Euro 16..Part One?!?!<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So after a couple of
eventful weeks we have had our fair amount of thrills and spills, unfair dismissals,
dodgy decisions and wild celebrations. That’s right people, I’m not talking
about Euro 2016 but in fact the greatest show currently on TV at the moment….LOVE
ISLAND 2016!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Apparently I am not the
only mug at the moment watching this brilliant collection of freakshows so in
their honour I have created a Euro/Love Island XI (formation yet to be decided)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It also gives me the chance
to get a bit of partial nudity on the blog for you enjoyment, but as always in
the interest of fairness I will be including both the girls and guys.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Enjoy!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Let’s start off with an
easy one. A tattooed prima donna with a greasy hair, Terry recently threw a
hissy fit after his girlfriend cut up a bit of his toast in the legendary “toast-gate" scandal as well as having the temerity to wear one of his t-shirts into
bed. How dare she? As for Monsieur Ronaldo, he may not have as
many tattoos but the greasy haired one still has the same pathetic attitude,
crying like a baby when things aren’t going his way, refusing to deal with the
Iceland draw in a respectful manner before having a nightmare of his own
against Austria the other night. The only question is, who has the bigger six -pack? The correct answer is that NO ONE CARES.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The now departed former
Miss GB has been collectively getting on everyone’s tits for some time let’s
face it, both housemates and views included. Fair to say she’s been severely
lacking in banter and personality for pretty much the duration. The best thing she did quite frankly was cop
off with the scaffolder from Birmingham, at least it made things a bit more
entertaining. The best fit I could find was Roy Hodgson who after a rather
conservative start in the first game decided to throw caution to the wind
against Wales. Thankfully he didn’t jump into bed with Chris Coleman and
instead he showed he could be a bit of a crazy creature and threw on two
attacking substitutes in Vardy and Sturridge. Keep it coming Roy (just not in
that way).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">An annoying Welshman with
a ridiculous hairstyle and a propensity to be a bit aggressive and lose it
every now and then. Let’s face it, we
all know Tom is beating Sophie senseless off camera and Robbie Savage is
probably doing the same to Martin Keown.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The loveable rogue of the
group, Nathan has stuck his colours firmly to the mast with Cara with an
unwavering devotion. A bit like Slaven
and his love for Dimitri Payet. Don’t believe me? Take a look at this!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;">Young, brash, direct but ultimately
pretty hard to ignore, Kady has been turning a few heads in Love Island.
Ultimately though you always think she is maybe just five seconds away from
saying something overtly inappropriate or acting in an immature way. I’m
struggling with this one a bit so I going to go for Jamie Vardy purely for his
legendary if slightly bizarre slogan of “Chat Shit, Get Banged” .Though if Kady said that, she would probably be getting a few offers of a different sort in return</span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>Malin vs Glenn Hoddle</b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;">Malin, you heavenly mixture of Sri Lankan and Swedish goodness. Always there with a kind word and looking to diffuse every possible tense situation, what would we do without you. Your calming presence is one of your best attributes. A bit like Glenn Hoddle with his reassured and astute comments, bringing a sense of control when Ian Wright and Slaven decide to start shouting and screaming in the ITV studio. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 12px; line-height: 13.8px;">Right, the eagle-eyed amongst you will have noticed that I have not actually completed a full XI. The reason is that this seemed a good idea at the time but its taking a longer time than expected and I need to go and sink a few cold ones before the big game tonight. However, I may continue this next time but like Love Island I like to leave things on a cliff hanger so stay tuned!</span></span></div>
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Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-90470124585148023312016-06-16T19:39:00.001+01:002016-06-16T19:39:18.584+01:00Bales 1 - 2 Woy's Boys<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Absolute scenes in Lens as
England secured their first win of Euro 2016 against Wales and to put their
fate in their own hands before their game against Slovakia on Monday. Few would
argue that the victory was undeserved, although victory seemed a long way away
after Gareth Bale slammed home an early free kick from distance. Hodgson’s
decision to introduce Vardy and Sturridge after the break paid dividends
though, as Vardy’s close range finish was followed by a late late winner from
Liverpool’s main marksman.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Before the game even
started their were slightly unusual scenes in the tunnel as a rather frenetic
Joe Hart screamed “LETS MOVE THE FUCKING BALL”. Where he wanted the ball moved
from and to was a bit of a mystery but I am sure it made sense in his mind,though
in my personal opinion it would further accentuate my view that with his
personality I think he’s a bit of a dick. Does he ever have anything sensible
to say. Perhaps he should keep his mouth shut and focus on his goalkeeping in
future.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The game followed a
pattern as many had expected with England dominant with the ball although they
had the cutting edge of a butter knife with Mr Sterling the main culprit with a
poor miss from close range. His general performance
was pretty atrocious let’s face it, and he was looking more like a £5 signing
than £50m.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">However, things took a
turn for the worst for England when a Rooney foul presented Bale with a chance
from distance at a free kick. I think I am not alone in thinking that he wouldn’t
score from that far out but he managed to make Joe Hart blush who could only
palm his dipping effort into the back of the net.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After this, England huffed
and puffed without really creating much at all. In fact the main entertainment
at this point was the horseplay between Messrs Savage and Keown in the
commentary box. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“That was a clear foul.” Says
Savage<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“That was a blatant dive”
says Keown<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">However Keown then
surpassed his own ridiculousness by stating that Bale was the best player in
Europe. However, when Guy Mowbray correctly pointed out a certain Ronaldo at
Real Madrid, Keown said “well I think he will surpass him eventually”. So that
means he isn’t the best player then Martin…..<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">At half time, the wolves
were at Woy’s door and he reacted by bringing on Vardy and Sturridge to help
pep up England’s sorry attack with the lacklustre Kane and Sterling the two
players to be withdrawn<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Vardy brought England
level with a classic predator’s finish before Wales repelled wave after wave of
England attack. It has to be said that Hennessey did not really have to do much
work due to the brilliant defence in front of him but Welsh hearts were broken
when Sturridge scooped home from close range to send England fans into bedlam.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So what have we learnt
from today’s game. The main points I suppose are that Sterling and Kane have
been monumentally shit in both games, Woy actually has a pair of cojones and
Vardy and Sturridge probably should be starting against Slovakia. As for Wales,
although they defended valiantly for large spells, they were generally pretty
poor today though in all likelihood they will still qualify.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">On a personal note the
result means it’s more likely that I will NOT be seeing England for the games I
have tickets for. On the plus side this
means that I am less likely to be tear gassed or have my head smashed in by
some Russian ultras which can only be a good thing!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Finally, I am sure many of
you were watching the game at work/had skived off to watch the game. Personally
being unemployed and slightly hungover I was couch bound but this little clip
shows me everything that I missed out on<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #00309c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 13.8px;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BGuTkIAFAkB/?taken-by=thesportbible">https://www.instagram.com/p/BGuTkIAFAkB/?taken-by=thesportbible</a></span></span></div>
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<br />Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-28078296577000293512016-06-13T18:36:00.000+01:002016-06-13T18:36:01.668+01:00 Porn St*rs, Scratch and Sniff and Balls from Outer Space<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Happy Monday everyone. After
this weekend’s events, there are a few questions which need answering, so let’s
take a look<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> 1) </span><span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>Why is Harry Kane taking corners?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Whilst I
toyed with the idea of Roy Hodgson having a personal vendetta against me due to
me having a Harry Kane to score anytime wager against Russia, I think it’s fair
to say that the whole of the country is completely perplexed as to why
Tottenham’s main marksman is on corner taking duties<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A quick
perusal of the stats for the season shows that Kane has not had one assist from
a corner throughout the whole season. In fact, he doesn’t even take them for
Spurs, it’s mainly Christian Eriksen.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Apparently,
it’s because he can “strike the ball well” which to me translates to “he can
kick a ball”. Not sure why Messrs Alli, Rooney, Lallana would not be able to do
exactly the same and give England the chance of having the opportunity to be in
the box to actually stick it in the net.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For me it's a bit like being a famous porn star and instead of being asked to be the main star to instead step behind the camera and direct the movie. Hardly the smartest idea in the world. Come on Woy, sort it out!</span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">2 2) <span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> <b> </b></span></span><span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>What was Joachim Low smelling?</b><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There is a lot about to
admire about the Germans, be it there ability to always get a result, their
mental strength or also Joachim Low's wonderful head of hair. However, on thing
I am not sure about is his personal hygiene. What exactly was going on here? Some bizarre real life version of Scratch and
Sniff? <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Not content with one
effort, the German manager went for another. Thankfully for everyone else, he did
not go on to complete an unwanted hat trick!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 13.8px;">Closer inspection reveals that Low actually does have previous on this. Just ask Cristiano Ronaldo!</span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">3) <b>Where did Modric's ball come from?</b></span><br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Luka Modric spanked in a wonderful goal on the weekend with the ball appearing to drop from miles in the sky before being laced beautifully into the bottom corner. A few people have asked where the ball had dropped from, with some quoted as saying it had dropped in from outer space. </span><br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">However, the correct answer is that the ball had finally returned from this famous penalty miss from Chris Waddle in Italia 90. If you watch the videos straight after each other then you will see it all makes sense...honest</span><br />
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<span style="color: #00309c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 12px; line-height: 13.8px;"><b><i>Sunil</i></b></span></span></div>
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Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-84391457376065614142016-06-12T11:41:00.003+01:002016-06-12T11:41:44.381+01:00Cher, Welsh Bastards and Not Quite Justice for the England XI<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So first up today was the
titanic battle between Albania vs Switzerland which truth be told was probably
a better game than most people had expected.
I missed the first half as I was out doing a bit of shopping for my
holiday to the Euros. However, instead of the usual purchase of t-shirts and
shorts I decided to buy a bullet proof vest and a hard helmet having witnessed
the recent scenes in Marseilles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The main talking point off
the match was the fact that each side was fielding a brother from the same
family for the first time in Championship history, Messrs Granit and Taulant
Xhaka.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I will admit that was
fairly interesting but of more interest to me was the fact that the winner was
scored by none other than Cher! Amazing
stuff. Added to fine performances by Shakira and Chaka Khan and it looks like
their tactic of fielding a line-up of female popstars was a major instrument in
their ability to pick up a vital three points.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Great scenes in Bordeaux
as a Gareth Inspired Bales beat Slovakia 2-1 thanks to a late winner from the
magnificently named Hal Robson-Kanu. I’m
not sure if this guy is the bastard son of Bryan Robson and Nwankwo Kanu but if
he continues to score late goals like that he will be held in the same regard
as the aforementioned.Not the cleanest of strikes but I don't think any of the watching Welsh army would be bothered by that, as long as the ball hits the back of the onion bag that's all that matters<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A thoroughly deserved win
and a result which firmly puts the pressure on England against the Russians in
Marseilles<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was agony for England
as a last gap equaliser from the Russians thwarted their hopes of securing
their first ever winin the opening match of a European Championships. With the
game looking like it was over, a towering header from Berezutski looped over
Joe Hart to leave the England XI shattered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Hodgson’s side started
very firmly on the front foot with the triumvate of Alli, Rooney and Dier
controlling the game in the middle of the pitch and with good width offered by
the full backs Walker and Rose. Chances came and went with Lallana probably
missing the best chance when he screwed the ball wide following a wonderful
build up<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">However, the game remained
goalless at half time and the Russians came out with added intensity after the
break and pegged England back for the first 10 minutes or so. It was not long
though before England resumed control with Rooney again driving the team
forward and he was desperate unlucky when he was denied by a world class save.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">With chances coming and
going it looked like it was going to be one of those nights when up stepped
Eric Dier in the 73<sup>rd</sup> minute to slam home a free kick from close
range and to send the England fans into rapture.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Unknown to me, I was
alerted by my friend Mark who had noticed a slightly unusual bit of commentary
as both sides re-assembled for kick off<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: large;">“JUSTICE FOR THE ENGLAND
XI!!”</span></span><span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> proclaimed Clive Tydesley<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now I think we can all
appreciate that Clive has said the odd daft thing in his time but most of us
probably don’ t mind that and he is pretty popular due to his chummy/matey kind
of commentary<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Following this statement
though I had to do some research to find out what the England team had done to
deserve justice. I quickly went through the game in my mind and could not
recall any bad penalty calls, incorrect red cards or dodgy offside decisions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I then moved onto the team’s
history together and could not find any wrongful imprisonment or accusations.
So, it looks like Clive’s cry for justice was based on the fact that England
had not taken their chances during the game….er…and that’s it. Not sure what
you had been smoking Clive but probably best to leave such comments on the
notepad in the future.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The game was followed by
more unsavoury scenes in the stands which has meant that I will once again have
to step up my efforts to protect myself for when I head to Marseilles in a
couple of weeks. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Here is the latest item I
have ordered, hopefully this will do the business! If you see me, give me a wave!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #00309c; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 12px; line-height: 13.8px;"><b><i>Sunil</i></b></span></span>Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-89121266311762030922016-06-10T22:00:00.000+01:002016-06-10T23:43:04.516+01:00Willy Wonka, Eddie Izzard and Magnificent Beards<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As the self-described
greatest football blog ever made, I appreciate that I should probably be
providing some incisive analysis about the games being played on the pitch but
I am going to ease in and instead first just elaborate my thoughts on the
disastrous opening ceremony.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Things seemed to start off
reasonably well, although Clive Tydesley probably wished that commentating on
this sort of nonsense was not part of his job description, sounding like a
thoroughly pissed off Terry Wogan at the Eurovision Song Contest (except
without the late Irishman’s delicious irony).
You could almost hear him grimace as he commented on people dressed as
giant lips….“they are famous for their kisses you know”. Poor bastard.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The music seemed
reasonably on point with the Can Can and “La Vie en Rose” being blasted out on
high and nothing seemed too worrying at this point. Then after a few more
minutes I thought that I had dropped an E and been transported to the set of Charlie
and the Charlie Factory, such was the madness that was going on in front my
eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Then, even more bizarrely,
the organisers decided to wheel out a certain David Guetta who was prancing
around and twiddling his knobs (watch it you filthy animals) as if he was
closing out a set in Ibiza. I wasn't sure if he had arrived their unannounced as he
looked completely out of place<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now, I appreciate the guy's
enthusiasm but playing Black Eyed Peas and Akon?!? Really? Who on earth thought
that would be a good idea? I just wish
he had gone the whole hog and blasted out “Sexy Bitch”, at least then we might
have had some bikini clad women run out onto the pitch to help improve
proceedings<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Meanwhile, fresh his embarrassing
performance on Question Time, Eddie Izzard was providing his football expertise
within the ITV studios. Wait a minute..what’s that you say..it was Slaven
Bilic? Are you sure…? OK maybe that's just me then<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 13.8px;">Anyway, it's time for the bit you have all been waiting for. The match report! Except that I can't be bothered any more to write a lot on this subject so I will stick to a brief summary instead</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 12px; line-height: 13.8px;">1) Payet really is the sh*t, if he continues to play like this he could be the standout performer for France. What a hit son</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 13.8px;">2) Giroud really does have a magnificent beard doesn't he? (and also earnt me £11.50 so merci beaucoup Olivier!)</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 12px; line-height: 13.8px;">3) France probably won't win it if they keep defending like they have done tonight</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 12px; line-height: 13.8px;">Right, I'm off to catch up on Love Island. Just kidding obviously. Except I'm not</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 12px; line-height: 13.8px;">And last but not least..........Come on IN-GER-LAND!!!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #00309c; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 12px; line-height: 13.8px;"><b><i>Sunil</i></b></span></span></div>
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Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-777488464890994842016-06-09T17:25:00.000+01:002016-06-09T17:25:22.642+01:00Guess who's back....back again<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The eagle eyed amongst you would have noted that two years ago after the greatest ever World Cup had been concluded, I said that I would be posting during the Euros due to the likelihood of my life having not been sorted out. Thankfully, that is actually is what has happened. Whilst I should be spending my next few months looking for gainful employment, planning a wedding and organising some home improvements (what a sorry state of affairs my life has become), I have decided to abandon all of the aforementioned and decided to spend every day for the few next weeks watching every single game of the tournament, as well as trying to keep on top of the social media frenzy, just for your pleasure! It's a hard job but someone has to do it.<br />
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It's actually hard to believe we first posted on this blog around 10 years ago and so much has happened in everyone's lives and in the footballing world since that time. On a personal note I have managed to scramble onto the property ladder, travel half the world, sleep with 37.5 women, appeared on a TV documentary and written for a magazine whilst in the footballing world, Sepp Blatter has been finally been felled, Steven Gerrard made the costliest slip in Premier League History and Arsenal have finally won a league title! (ok, one of those on the list was a lie)<br />
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Anyway, as you can expect, the format is not going to change for this tournament. We'll have scathing comments on each game, WAGs galore, commentary capers as well as all the fantastic and funny observations from Twitter, Instagram and such like. I would like to believe that the legendary Roastwatch would be making a re-appearance but I think it's fair to say that in today's world it will be harder for any professional footballers to be getting up to such shenanigans so I wouldn't hold out too much for any Vardy Party action.<br />
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On a final sobering note, I will be actually attending Euro 2016 in person as I have been fortunate enough to nab tickets for the Quarter Final and Semi Final in Paris and Marseilles. Thankfully for me, France is currently the safest country on the planet so I actually can't wait to get over there and get involved.<br />
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(As there is an extreme likelihood I could be making my way back in a coffin, I would like to take this opportunity to ask you all for a small donation in order to help pay for my likely funeral expenses)<br />
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Roll on Friday!<br />
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<b><i>Sunil</i></b><br />
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<br />Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-25576647132714363082014-07-17T22:21:00.000+01:002014-07-17T22:21:01.287+01:00All Hail Ze Germans<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So the greatest ever World Cup is over and with a fitting finale to end it all. The Argentina Vs Germany game was not a classic by any means, but thoroughly absorbing nonetheless and with a truly wonderful strike from Goetze settling matters on the biggest stage of them all.<br />
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I'm too upset that the tournament has ended that I am not going to write too much, other than to say that last week I found a total of £15 (amazing I know), money which I decided to soundly invest by sticking it alongside a rather larger sum of Ze Germans, who thankfully didn't disappoint.<br />
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As one of my friends perhaps dubiously surmised "When are the Germans going to get their karma? I mean, they have great footballers, great looking women and a thriving economy, what more do they need?". <br />
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Thanks to all for staying tuned away, providing that I haven't sorted my life in in 2 years (an extremely distinct possibility), then I will see you all at the Euros<br />
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<b><i>Sunil</i></b><br />
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<br />Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-56550195536850208212014-07-09T23:13:00.001+01:002014-07-10T18:12:43.000+01:00Brazil 1 - Germany 7 (Seven)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A close friend of mine recently sent me a link of an epic fail on the Crystal Maze, something which was so catastrophic and hilarious that I never thought that I would see it repeated in the near future. It really is worth a look<br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4GgXzoZ3mo">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4GgXzoZ3mo</a><br />
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Nonetheless, my doubts about seeing another embarrassment were banished almost instantaneously with the completely ridiculous capitulation by the Samba Boys against our European neighbours, those oh so canny Germans<br />
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I am sure that everyone has already trudged through the now obligatory post mortem and this apparently is the most tweeted about a sports match in Twitter history. Numbers of other jokes and comments have also been passed around the internet at an exponential rate so I will intersperse my favourites throughout my musings on the catastrophe in the Estadio Mineirao.<br />
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I was watching the game in a local pub with a couple of mates and we were commenting on how fierce and passionate the Brazilian players were had been in each game so far during the national anthem so much so that the players had often been reduced to tears. Expecting the same again, I looked up at the TV to see the same shenanigans going on, only this time I was astonished to see that Neymar had died! I thought the poor bastard had just broken his back but when I saw that Luiz and Cesar were holding his shirt aloft I realised that he must have passed away on the same day. I'm not entirely sure how this did not make bigger news. Either way, the home fans seemed to be in buoyant mood and ready to banish their memories of that World Cup Final defeat in 1950 to Uruguay (boy oh boy they probably wished they hadn't ask for that event to be forgotten).<br />
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<li><i>"The most embarrassing semi since I went to to see Brokeback mountain with my Dad"</i></li>
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The game started fairly slow paced with nothing really between the teams until a well worked set piece gave the Germans a lead via the irrepressible Thomas Muller, many people's outside bet for top scorer. Whatever people think of him, you cannot help but admire his talent. I for one, like the fact he doesn't "look" like a modern day footballer. He looks a little bit like Steve Claridge, with his unorthodox style and socks often around his ankles and I also find that he does not know how to celebrate either pretty amusing. I think its fair to say you won't be getting any choreographed celebrations from this chap</div>
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<li><i>"The clean up to this one is going to take longer than Chernobyl" (this one is mine, sorry for the self love)</i></li>
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However, what was to happen in the next 30 minute was staggering beyond belief. Being a WBA fan, I have seem some capitulations in my time but I have come to expect it. This on the other hand was pretty unforeseeable. A well worked goal allowed Miroslav Klose to double the lead before further calamitous defending from Luiz and Fernandinho allowed Kroos and Khedira to join the party and send the home fans into tears and the Germans into raptures</div>
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At this point, I am pretty sure that no one was entirely sure what was going on although I would imagine that at this point Alan Hansen must have thought that all his Christmases had come at once. The guy was probably having a fit at half time. I can just imagine him now saying to Gary Lineker at half time "We've only got 15 minutes? I've got enough coverage here for a week!"</div>
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The way the Brazilians folded like a pack of cards was pretty unforgivable if you ask me. It's one thing to get beaten but to lose by just giving up is serving a major injustice to your fans and country alike. We've all been through a dry spell at various times but I think even the most inept of us could have scored against this set of players. No tracking back, jumping out of tackles, turning your back to the ball and wandering completely out of position are what this Brazlian team are to be known for.</div>
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Queue half time then. Never has the phrase "if this was a boxing match, it would have been stopped a long time ago" ever been more appropriate. </div>
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<li><i>"Last time I saw a Brazilian get f*cked by so many Germans was on Pornhub"</i></li>
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The 2nd half was slightly more respectable but by there were still further goals to follow including an absolutely fabulous strike from Schurrle which really put the icing on the cake. Oscar finally bagged a late consolation but by this time half the fans had probably already left to join the riots outside the stadium. In fact, the fans probably wished that the stadium had actually collapsed, much like a lot of people were anticipating prior to the World Cup</div>
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Now first things first, I would like to comment on some of the rather now spurious and lazy comments from pundits and such like that the Germans were devastatingly "efficient" in their execution. I'm surprised some people did not just add in that they were "just following orders to devastating effect". The truth is, this wasn't efficiency, this was world class football of the highest order and due credit should have been given. Admittedly, they were up against a compete and utter shambles but you can only admire the way they sliced through the Brazilian defence time after time with some brilliant passing and movement. If ever there was an archetypal Brazil-type performance then the Germans produced it. A far cry from their match up in the 2002 Final, the tables had well and truly turned last night which is a credit to the way the Germans have revamped their footballing style over the last 10 years or so. The heat map below confirms their dominance in yesterday's proceedings.</div>
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On a lighter note, I actually commented in the pub that they would have to put the word "seven" in brackets as per the old Videprinter days and then low and behold the BBC actually did this exact thing, great scenes! Not sure if they were they were themselves being serious or if they were taking the p*ss.</div>
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So what now for the Brazilians? With the memories of the 1950 World Cup final now possibly vanquished forever , this set of fans and players will be scarred for life almost certainly. One way forward could be for the players to change their kit again, and it would be argued that with the way they surrendered they should perhaps switch back to wearing all white although I would imagine its unlikely this will happen. It's likely that they may have sweeping reforms across the game in order to bring back the type of football that they were renowned for. </div>
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Anyway, it looks like the Argentina game is heading for penalties so I am going to focus my attentions on that. I will leave the final say on the Brazil Vs Germany to Mr Ron Burgundy</div>
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<b><i>Sunil</i></b></div>
Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-40286563826347346122014-07-06T13:52:00.000+01:002014-07-06T13:52:16.002+01:00Sideshow Bob Scorcher and The Biggest Balls In World Sport<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Unless you are currently another planet, then you will realise that today is the biggest game in the tennis calendar, the Men's Wimbedon Final, with Novak Djokovic taking on the greatest player every, Roger Federer (all those saying it's Nadal can do one!). To win this title takes everything required of an athlete including monumental bottle. Talking of which, one of my friends used to joke that Pete Sampras had the biggest balls in World Sport. Whenever the chips were down and the pressure was on, he would deliver. He could be down 0-40 in the final set facing three Championship points, but when it mattered would step up to the plate and slap down five aces in a row.<br />
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However, I think that this title must be now be passed to the slightly better looking version of Steve Bruce, a certain Mr Louis Van Gaal. He's already made some big decisions in this tournament, with a dazzling array of tactical switches and substitutions. However, his decision to bring on a "specialist" keeper for the penalty shoot out (Tim Krul had only saved 2 penalties in his Newcastle career) is one of the most staggering things I have ever seen. I am sure this has possibly happened many times before but the only time I can remember when Leicester City brought on Zelko Kalac many years ago in a Division One Play off Final for a potential shoot out, only for Steve Claridge to save all the hassle by then shinning in a goal in the 120th minute (or something like that). Heartbreak for the Costa Ricans who were gallant losers but delight for the Dutch and I am sure that Man United fans are currently massaging themselves at the thought of having a manager who could return them back to the title race next season with such ballsy decisions.<br />
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The Germany vs France affair was a fairly dour affair with the Germans doing what they do best in order to secure a much needed victory so I won't comment too much on that. However, the hosts Brazil continue what seems to be a destiny carved route to the final. Again, anyone hoping for the Brazilians to hit top form will be disappointed as they ground at another scrappy win, this time against the Colombians. Some of the Brazilian tactics have been borderline thuggish and it has been somewhat disappointing that they have not produced the fast free flowing football teams of great teams gone by. However, one cannot deny the pure emotion that they have been playing with as shown by David Luiz's (aka Sideshow Bob from The Simpsons) celebration after his bombastic free kick. With his fist pumping and his eyes bulged, it reminded me of a certain Maradona's celebration at USA 94 which proved to everyone without any reasonable doubt that he was in fact taking drugs. Here's a reminder of why there was no need for a urine sample after this one<br />
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On a final note for those who have not seen it, here is the picture of the mammoth insect which decided to take a ride after James Rodriguez scored a penalty to reduce the deficit. I am sure I am not the only person who thought 'HOLY SH*T!' when they saw this one.<br />
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Buen Provecho!<br />
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<b><i>Sunil</i></b><br />
<br />Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-89722701452290540452014-07-03T19:09:00.002+01:002014-07-03T19:09:34.561+01:00Not All Americans Are In Love With Harry<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Before I settled down to watch the Belgium Vs USA game the other night, I had the misfortune of stumbling across a program on E4+8 (or some other nondescript Channel) called "I Wanna Marry Harry. I have seen some awful shows in my time but the premise was so ridiculous I just had to take a second look. I was bamboozled as to why 12 American Cheerleader types were all trying to woo a guy who was a simply a lookalike for Prince Harry (think of Average Joe in reverse and you are pretty much there). I know some people have some weird fetishes but this really took the biscuit. Then to my utter astonishment it transpires that these girls actually thought that this was the actual Prince Harry! I nearly fell off my chair. How ludicrous. Hardly a great advert for the Americans it would seem.....<br />
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Even more ridiculous, I then switched over to the Belgium game and this ginger lookalike was again staring me in the face like some evil serial killer. Alas, my fears were quashed when I realised that this was just Kevin De Bruyne, the Belgium midfielder. Phew. And perhaps more importantly, this set of Americans proved that they were not a bunch of big chested buffoons.<br />
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Anyway, back to the game and what an absolutely titanic contest. This match now ranks in my top 3 of all time, behind Liverpool 4-3 Newcastle and Istanbul, two epic games which will live long in the memory.<br />
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The game in 90 minutes was perhaps not a classic but what followed in the next 30 minutes was absolutely incredible. As Belgium put their converted their dominance to goals via Prince Harry and Lukaku it looked like Tim Howard's heroics would be in vain. Yet, the game was still somehow not over. A wonderful goal from Julian Green put the cat amongst the pigeons and the Americans nearly frantically scrambled an equalizer. Jurgen Klinsmann's knack of producing teams full of energy again surfaced as his men gained a second win and nearly pulled off an amazing comeback with a brilliant set piece routine.<br />
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Ultimately, it was not enough and the Belgians sneaked through but what a wonderful advert for the game. A game played at breakneck speed almost like a basketball game (you attack, we attack) and some great individual performances (was the American right back on Speed?).<br />
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If the USA had equalized then I am pretty sure that they would have had to have made a Hollywood film about it (I am sure Tom Hanks would have been involved somewhere) but instead the team will have to make do a with their role as gallant losers<br />
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Roll on the Quarter Finals.....<br />
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(P.S For those show who share my love of trash TV shows/documentaries then I would recommend My Granny : The Escort as seen on Channel 4 last night. I would add though that Wayne Rooney does not make a surprise appearance)<br />
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<b><i>Sunil</i></b>Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-57420873127995580112014-06-30T22:11:00.002+01:002014-06-30T22:11:43.055+01:00Bite Fever Hits World Cup<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Apologies all for the lack of blogging recently, I have been fortunate enough to have been in sunnier climbs since last Thursday so haven't been privvy to all the games. This has culminated in not only gaining a bit of a sun tan (yes, Asians tan as well) and also missing half of the football exciting action over the last few days. Therefore, this article will be short and sweet. To be honest, there is so much coverage these days, social media debate etc that I am struggling to cope with this tidal wave of footballing information so if you think you can do better then please help me out!<br />
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<b><i>Luis Suarez</i></b><br />
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This episode has pretty much been and gone so I won't add to much other than to quote someone I met recently who is a teacher by trade. When querying the Suarez incident they simply said<br />
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"Btw that Suarez should not be allowed to play football anymore, seriously what a joke, I don't care if he's good or brings a lot of money in, what is he teaching the kids!"<br />
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Granted that women shouldn't really normally be allowed to comment on football (Do me a favour love!), but I think that quote pretty much hits the nail on the head.<br />
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However, I did also manage to locate Luis Suarez's new local bar in Valencia, somewhere I imagine he may be situated for the next few months.<br />
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<b><i>Hulk</i></b><br />
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I did manage to catch most of the Brazil vs Chile game. It wasn't really a classic although it was good to see WBA leaving their imprint on the tournament with ex-Baggie Gonzolo Jara scoring an Own Goal and then missing the decisive penalty. I did take some personal delight in successfully predicting the direction of each of the penalties, something which I have honed since reading the brilliant book "Twelve Yards", currently available from all good bookshops. I did offer to help out the England team who are notorious at losing on penalty shoot outs but now they so sh*t that they cannot even get past the group stages, so alas my exceptional Derren Brown like skills will not be required in the near future it seems.<br />
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The only other thing interesting about this game was the guy who is called Hulk. I am sure many of you are thinking that is he simply called that because he is a massive gym freak b*stard? <br />
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Rather interestingly (or not) I actually think this is one of those "ironic" nicknames. The reason I say this, is that the guy falls over like a sack of potatoes on even the slightest of contact. What a big girl's blouse. Hulk? My arse. Calling the guy Hulk is akin to calling Dion Dublin "Tiny" due to the size of his manhood.<br />
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<b><i>Mexico Vs Netherlands</i></b><br />
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As I sat in the departure lounge for my flight back, I heard a group of Dutch fans shout out in sheer delight, a mere two minutes apart whilst a German appeared to shout out "Scheisse". All of this had me very confused as to what was happening in this game. Now it all makes sense to me And er...that's it. Sorry if that's not that very interesting, but if you want a proper match report discussing water breaks and tactical genius Louis van Gaal then you can go and read them elsewhere....<br />
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Anyway's this Germany vs Algeria game looks pretty tasty so I am going to stop writing and watch that instead.<br />
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Adios amigos!<br />
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<b><i>Sunil</i></b><br />
<br />Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-450624757723411672014-06-24T23:12:00.000+01:002014-06-24T23:12:03.578+01:00Dead Rubber Brings England No Joy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Let's be honest, you didn't click on this blog because you wanted to read about England's latest battle of attrition, you just wanted to look at this picture didn't you, you filthy animal? And if you did then I can't blame you. Let's be honest, this is probably the most exciting thing you have seen at the World Cup from an English person (I have no idea if the girls are even English if I am honest).<br />
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Despite today's game being a dead rubber for England ( I have never understood this term btw, is it something to do with contraception? It is a reference to an out of date condom? Answers on a postcard please), I made the slightly unfortunate decision to leave work early today to take up a seat at the battle cruiser near work to watch the English team take on the mighty Costa Rica. A bit like arranging to meet up with an ex-girlfriend, the expectation of something good quickly descends into boredom and within minutes you have realised that you have made a mistake and you are looking for the quickest exit out of there.<br />
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Today's game was one of the worst I have ever seen in the tournament so far and left me feeling pretty despondent. Not because England were terminally average, but because they have contributed absolutely ZERO to this World Cup.<br />
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Aside from an early match, ( I think it involved Iran but the game escapes met) nearly every game has had moments of madness, excitement, drama, unbelievable skill, a great celebration or a manager going absolutely apoplectic on the touchline. Yes that's right, Miguel Hererra I am looking at you<br />
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<a href="http://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2014/jun/24/mexico-coach-miguel-herrera-world-cup-2014">http://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2014/jun/24/mexico-coach-miguel-herrera-world-cup-2014</a><br />
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In fact, even as I watch Greece vs Ivory Coast a last minute penalty has caused absolute bedlam. Does anyone else get the feeling that England just have not been part of this World Cup? I mean for God's sake, we didn't even get to see any Wags! I cannot think of anything worse than being remembered for being a bit ordinary. Have England provided more than 10 minutes of entertainment in any game? Even when South Korea were getting humped 3-0 by Algeria the other night at least they came back out second half and gave it a go.<br />
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England being not that good you can kind of get used to, but at least be so monumentally shit that you let in fifty goals and provide some entertainment. In today's game, why not just play two in defence and send everyone up front, at least it would be a bit of fun. Instead we got another snoozefest from the team, with only a couple of dodgy penalty shouts to look at. In fact, it's more interesting watching as to why Robbie Savage is coming onto Danny Murphy so strongly by wrapping his arm around him in the BBC Studio (something to share Robbie?).<br />
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I'm not sure what has happened in this tournament to England and my heart goes out to poor fans who went to Brazil to watch such a farce. My only advice to them would be to take a stroll along Ipanema beach and check out some of the football street performers as it's likely they have more skill than the whole of the English football team. Alternatively try and pick up a local with a dead rubber and play something I like to call "Russian Roulette"<br />
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*DISCLAIMER*<br />
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The above joke was taken from someone else and is not a reflection of On The Bench. As Tim Westwood once profoundly said "Strap It Up Before You Slap It Up"<br />
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Anyway, I should end this article with something football related<br />
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ENGLAND TILL I DIE (is that what we sing these days?)<br />
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<b><i>Sunil</i></b>Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-37882840927768651172014-06-21T20:39:00.002+01:002014-06-21T20:39:58.327+01:00Is lack of intelligence the cause of England's woes?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As England were sent crashing out of the World Cup, I am sure that everyone was queuing up to offer their reasons for England's demise. Unusually, though perhaps there didn't seem to be an obvious reason this time for England's failure to qualify for the Group Stages. The team played ok but were not brilliant, the coach seemed to have prepared them well and we cannot even blame England's ludicrous record from penalties this time.<br />
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The usual excuses seem to have all run their course and since 1966 it seems like England have tried nearly everything without ever really looking like making a major imprint on the world stage. We have tried English managers, foreign managers, youth, experience, pragmatism and also attacking football. We failed in hot countries, in cold countries, we have taken teams to isolated camps, we have taken teams to integrated areas. So is there some underlying reason for England's failure that we are all missing out on? Is there a reason that we are just perhaps not very good?<br />
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If someone could answer that million pound question then I am sure it would have been done already and England would be World Cup Winners but personally think that one reason for England's failure to perform in big tournaments could be what I would deem to be lack of intelligence.<br />
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Footballers need many qualities and abilities for their profession. Physical strength, skill, speed and perhaps an often ignored attribute...intelligence. In all forms of life, intelligent people are generally good decision makers, find solutions and more often than not, remain calm under pressure. As I sit watching the Germans play without a recognised striker and create chance after chance I can only be impressed with their ability and awareness on how to play their football. Could anyone else imagine England playing tournament football without a recognised striker?<br />
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How often have we seen in major tournaments England's perceived lack of game management, naivety and in general, their lack of awareness on how to win games. How often have we bemoaned their lack of ability to maintain possession or to close a game out? Against Italy and Uruguay the team had done well to pull level but then did not seem to know how to get the result required.<br />
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I think my intelligence argument has been heightened by looking at some of the punditry on the TV this year. Maybe I am just a sucker for a foreign accent but don't all the foreign footballers just sound more intelligent than England's? A certain Carlton Palmer was blaming Hodgson, saying he hadn't taken sufficient risks, despite the fact he played with 4 attacking players in each game. This sort of crude analysis makes you wonder what on earth he had been watching.<br />
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On the other hand, the likes of Seedorf, Henry, and Vieira all seem to speak with a certain wit, widsom and smartness which embarrasses the likes of Savage, Shearer and such like. In fact, I would go as so far as to say that even their English is better than the British nationals themselves.<br />
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Could anyone else imagine a Rio Ferdinand, a John Terry, a David Beckham or a Wayne Rooney going onto Brazilian TV and getting involved with the banter with Fernanda Lima. I don't think so. These guys can barely put three words together in their own language, let alone a foreign tongue.<br />
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Associated with this is the lack of English players going abroad to other countries. You can probably count on one hand the amount of English players who have gone abroad in the last thirty years. The challenge of integrating into another culture, learning a new language, embracing different styles and opinions is a challenge which has not been befitting of many of the current crop of English players and dare I say requires a certain level of intelligence and know how.<br />
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Whilst I know England as a whole struggles with languages, how wonderful is it to see other players from foreign countries quickly assimilating into other cultures and fitting into their lifestyle. Patrick Vieria, Gus Poyet, and Gianluca Vialli for example, when the first came to England could not speak a word of English but within a couple of years were speaking extremely fluently. And what do we get from English footballers in their post match interviews? "At the end of the day it was a tough game....etc etc." Hardly the most inspiring of words.<br />
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So how does this lack of intelligence and awareness possibly translate to the pitch? I think game management would be the main area, as it appears that English players only appear to know how to play the English way. Often it is derided.."Why can't we play like Spain, Germany etc?". But this is not something you can just switch on and off, it's something which can only be learnt by playing with these players in different countries, gaining a deeper understanding of what makes them tick, how they play their football.<br />
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I'm not suggest that all footballers must be contestants on Countdown every week but perhaps a bit more footballing "education" (that's a nine letter word btw) would not go amiss and may help England arise out of their irritable slumber.<br />
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<b><i>Sunil</i></b><br />
<br />Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-14532352972207876632014-06-17T21:32:00.003+01:002014-06-17T21:32:31.509+01:00Commentary Capers and Pundit Perfection Making This A World Cup To Remember<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Although we are barely into this Group Stages, I can hand on heart say that this is probably best World Cup I have seen in my lifetime so far. I will stop short of saying it's been the best ever, mainly because I have only seen highlights of all the World Cups prior to the auspicious day of my birth, that cold wintry afternoon in November 1983.<br />
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This World Cup has had everything that you would wish for (aside from an England win). Riots, beaches, goals, controversy, red cards, last minute winners and upsets. However, one of the main highlights for me has been some of the hilarious commentary and analysis which has taken place in the respective studios on BBC1 and ITV.<br />
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My personal pick has been Thierry Henry, who at times, despite the fact he is so relaxed that he looks like he has woken from a coma, has provided some superb wit and dare I say "va va voom" with his expert analysis.<br />
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I am sure many of you have seen the Twitter picture doing the rounds (as above) as a poor Robbie Savage has been somewhat put in his place on numerous occasions. Whilst Robbie will compare a match with his memories from a cold night at Filbert Street, Mr Henry will instead draw on his considerable experience, name dropping on such a regular basis it's almost an embarrassment. In every game, he seems to have played alongside or against the player on show. "I remember, playing with Marquez...and Yaya...and Alves" or "I remember playing in the World Cup Final...I remember needing to score winning the League." If it was anyone else I would say he was an arrogant pr*ck, but he pulls it off with such panache it's hard not to just hope he does it on a more regular basis.<br />
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If he hasn't played with the guys then he has often just socialised with them. "I was talking with Clarence the other night at the beach..and told him that Robbie's hair looks ridiculous" was probably my personal favourite(!)<br />
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A special mention also to the BBC for placing Neil Lennon next to a certain Mr Shearer. Unfortunately, the two seemed to get along a little bit too nicely. For those unsure of the significance of this, take a look at this little clip<br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8fMbxLTpps">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8fMbxLTpps</a><br />
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The commentary has been a slightly mixed bag with the dull tones of Monsieur Philip Neville and Andy "He's gotta do better there Clive" Townsend heaping misery upon millions of viewers throughout the nation.<br />
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However, I don't think there will be many of you who would disagree that Jonathan Pearce's antics during the France Vs Honduras game were the pick of the tournament. Good old Jonno thought that he had managed to discover a flaw in the Goaline Technology System only for a rather embarrassed Martin Keown to step in. For those who missed it, a quick summary is here<br />
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<a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/worldcup/world-cup-2014-bbc-presenter-jonathan-pearce-gets-in-a-mess-over-goalline-technology-9540780.html">http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/worldcup/world-cup-2014-bbc-presenter-jonathan-pearce-gets-in-a-mess-over-goalline-technology-9540780.html</a><br />
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It kind of made reminded me of if he was trying to get into a nightclub one night<br />
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Jonno : "You said that if I wore a shirt and shoes, you would let me in!!"<br />
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Doorman : "Sorry, we cannot let you in dressed like that"<br />
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Jonno : "What, this is a disgrace!". You said to dress smart and I have, this is totally unfair! You are breaking the club's door policy!"<br />
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Keown : "You aren't wearing any pants or trousers Jonno"<br />
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Jonno ; "Ah ok......"<br />
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On a completely separate note, has anyone noticed the uncanny resemblance (give me some leeway here) between the Mexican manager Miguel Herrera and the BNP leader Nick Griffin? Ok, actually, on second thoughts, it looks like there is none. On that note, I better do a Robbie Savage and get my coat...<br />
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<b><i>Sunil</i></b>Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-14206776698569533222014-06-15T19:27:00.001+01:002014-06-15T19:27:12.684+01:00How Do You Solve A Problem Like Rooney?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A somewhat disappointing result for England in their opening game against the Italians in Manaus which based on a decent all round performance, was perhaps undeserved. A vast improvement on their atrocious display against the same opposition two years ago, the result still offers considerable hope that they will win their next two games in order to reach the knockout stages.<br />
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Much of the post match analysis has revolved around the role of the much maligned Rooney (who I had the misfortune of receiving in the sweepstake at work). I think that first of all any criticism of the player in this particular match is pretty much unwarranted and unjustified. Any individual who is played out of position to play his part for the team deserves every single bit of credit. Rooney is not a left sided player and never will be (despite his sumptuous assist for Sturridge) and any influence his game has is always going to be restricted in such a wide position. Defensively, he left Baines exposed on numerous occasions, but this is to be expected when a player is instructed to try and curtail his natural instincts to drift inside and support the striker.<br />
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Some of the criticism from Shearer on the BBC I thought was incredibly harsh. Granted, Rooney had a good chance to at least hit the target. However, having been starved of the ball all game and then popping up in his favoured central position it' a bit much to suggest he should have scored. If he played in the central striking role all game then he probably would have had more chances and he may have put it away.<br />
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Interestingly, a lot of people think that the easy answer to the problem is to shift Rooney inside into his natural position, playing in behind the striker. However, I think this is slightly misguided for a few reasons.<br />
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Firstly, this would mean shifting Sterling back out wide, probably England's most penetrative player which I don't think would be a good idea. Secondly, I think that by bringing him inside, England would effectively be playing a 4-4-2 as Rooney is not and never will be an attacking midfielder. He no longer has that ability to drift past players, deliver those really intricate passes in the final third. Yes he may drop off, but his tendency will then just to be to fire a 40 yard pass out wide and make his way into the box. Very few teams play with such a partnership these days, and more often than not, the support striker is a player who can provide some energy and excitement to the play i.e Sterling. <br />
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In my view, this leaves only one option and that is to leave Wayne on the bench (assuming Sturridge is fit). I would bring Lallana in on the left hand side. Whilst this may seem slightly negative, I think this would give the side better balance. I think Welbeck on the other flank is perhaps another liability, but with limited options (no thank you Milner) I think he will probably retain his place. For the Uruguay game, Barkley and Rooney should be brought on as impact players.<br />
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Now that the boring stuff is out the way, let's look at some other interesting points from some of the footage so far.<br />
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Thierry Henry has provided some much entertainment on the BBC and one of my friends interestingly thinks that he was perhaps smoking something either before or during the coverage, and I wouldn't disagree with that. His comment that Pirlo deliberately hit the crossbar with his free kick was my personal highlight.<br />
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The uglier of the Neville brothers has come in for a fair amount of deserved stick of this punditry during the match and it's fair to say that he was probably the worst person to have commentating on such a late kick off. For those who had nearly fallen asleep anyway, his dull, expressionless tones probably sent half the country into a coma long before the match had ended. Who needs hypnosis to send people to sleep when you have commentary like that? Pitchside expert Danny Murphy was much more worthy of taking a spot in the commentary box with his incisive and clever analysis. Although perhaps their roles were not reversed as Monsieur Neville has a better face for commentary.....<br />
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.....and finally it's fair to say that all of the games have been pretty entertaining so far. But even the most boring of matches will be lit up by the rather hilarious confirmation of all goals using the Goal-line technology. When the ball has been smashed into the back of the next it's good that we see those 50 different angles to show that the ball has indeed crossed the line...what on earth are these guys up to?<br />
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<b><i>Sunil</i></b>Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-17114807967131109502014-06-12T23:32:00.000+01:002014-06-12T23:32:55.892+01:00Nifty Neymar gives Brazil home comforts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://media1.fcbarcelona.com/media/asset_publics/resources/000/054/596/size_640x360/Hypervenom_Neymar_Brasil_B_crop_original.v1369818863.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://media1.fcbarcelona.com/media/asset_publics/resources/000/054/596/size_640x360/Hypervenom_Neymar_Brasil_B_crop_original.v1369818863.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
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A somewhat fortuitous win for the hosts ensured that the World Cup went off with a bang tonight. A scuffed daisy cutter, a very dubious penalty and a toepunt that I would have been proud off finally saw off a dogged Croatian side in the first game of the tournament and put Brazil firmly in the driving seat to qualify for the next round.<br />
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I am sure most of you have seen the game so I won't write out a boring match report but instead highlight some general thoughts around the opening of the greatest competition in World Sport.<br />
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I decided to make the executive decision to leave work early today to come home and make sure I saw the opening ceremony. Probably one of the worst decisions I have made since I took what I thought was a girl home "that night in Thailand" a few years ago. I admit opening ceremonies are generally boring but where was the samba based dance fest that everyone was hoping for and expecting? The gyrating women? The flavour of carnival? Instead we got that complete and utter b*llend Pitbull, a ropey looking J-Lo and what I can only assume was her body double (I genuinely have no idea who the other woman was). A massive disappointment and one that won't linger long in the memory....<br />
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...and talking of things that don't last long (wait there a minute)..what an amazing thing that vanishing spray is. I am sure that I was not the only person who was thinking of all the amazing uses for this stuff. Most of them won't be publishable I would imagine but this really could be the invention of the decade. It's a shame I suppose that the whole of the opening ceremony was not sprayed in the stuff..<br />
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Kudos to Croatia for trying every trick in the book to try and win tonight, including hiring Keanu Reeves as manager. A thoroughly ballsy decision I have to say...also shows that he has more in his locker than being a sh*t actor. He hasn't minced his words either with his post match quotes<br />
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"<span style="background-color: white; color: #1c1c1c; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.63636302947998px; line-height: 16.367273330688477px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1c1c1c; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.63636302947998px; line-height: 16.367273330688477px;">"If that's how we start the World Cup, we'd better give it up now and go home.</span><br />
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"We talk about respect, that wasn't respect, Croatia didn't get any.</div>
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"If that's a penalty, we don't need to play football anymore. Let's play basketball instead, it's a shame."</div>
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More of the same please Keanu!</div>
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<b><i>Sunil</i></b></div>
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<br />Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-46353250106141716942012-09-14T08:07:00.000+01:002012-09-14T08:07:50.244+01:00My Early Season Rants...So, the wonderful Premier League is back in action. I have been meaning to update the blog more regularly but those who know me well (or fairly well) will know that I have had a load more important stuff to deal with including the birth of my first child. Anyhow, now that's out the way and the little blighter has been successfully baptised at the Shrine (aka the Hawthorns) I am now ready to begin this season in earnest. In traditional fashion, I will begin with a big ranting session<br />
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<b>Brendan Rodgers & Liverpool </b><br />
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The clowns from Merseyside are a complete and utter embarrassment and I took great privilege from the fact that they my beloved Baggies whooped them on the first day of the season. Anyhow, a lot of people have been expressing sympathy to Mr Rodgers following the end of the transfer window but for me this is a little bit misguided.<br />
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Ok, I am not going to deny that Mr Rodgers is paying for KKKs excessive spending last season and obviously he got shafted when he let Carroll go on the basis that a replacement would be brought in. However, it is pretty clear that when Rodgers came in he was not a fan of Carroll and did not want him in his team. I am guessing this is because he did not fit into his footballing "philosophy". For me, this was incredibly arrogant and naive of Rodgers to take this approach. His mistake was stating that the club would not want a £35m man on the bench. But the point is that Andy Carroll is not worth £35m. However, he is a great target man who would fit in well at any mid-table club (i.e Liverpool). For Rodgers to expect Suarez to lead the attack on his own and score enough goals was pretty naive, considering that his finishing can at times be as clinical as Savo Milosevic back in the day (if you don't know who he is then get off my Blog). Anyway, for Rodgers to alienate the only other striker at the club was pretty silly in my book and ultimately he has been left embarassed after stating about 2 months ago there was no way he would leave on loan.<br />
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Then, we have the issue of what Rodgers spent his budget on. To my calculation, he spent around £25m on two players, including a whopping £15m on Joe Allen. The remainder was spent on that well known prolific striker Fabio Borini. Granted, the guy Allen looks a decent buy. But £15m? Do me a favour. If Rodgers is the visionary that Liverpool are hoping for then I sure as help his scouting system improves. He spent all his budget on 2 players who worked with him at Swansea for Christ's sake! This is the guy who wanted "total control" at the club and to be the main man. <br />
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Any knowledgeable person will know that Swansea had been a successful team because they had a very good structure set up. They have been playing fantastic football under Martinez, Sousa and Rodgers and now Laudrup. I don't think it was anything specifically to do with Rodgers (I will happily hold my hands up if I am proved wrong)<br />
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I personally think it will all end in tears<br />
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<b>Roy Hodgson</b><br />
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I love Woy, as most Baggies fans do. But although not inflammatory, I thought his comments today but the current crop of English players in the Premiership was a bit misguided. He indicated that due to the high presence of Europeans in the league, its harder for English players to break through. I think this is a little outdated. It goes without saying that England's qualifying record has actually got much better since the influx of foreign players into the Premiership. If the top quality foreign players were not here in our league then their places would be taken by the likes of Francis Benali, Mark Hateley and Steve Morrow. I rest my case<br />
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<b>AVB</b> <br />
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Is it wrong to be jealous of his incredibly manly voice?<br />
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<b>Garth Crooks </b><br />
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Anyone who observes his team of the week will know that this pillock will simply choose his team on who scores a goal that weekend, without actually reviewing any performances from the players from less noted teams. It upsets me that he is being paid to produce this garbage week after week.<br />
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<b>Tw@tter</b><br />
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Is it just me or should all playing footballers be banned from ranting at their own team on this thing? Massively unprofessional and childish. If you are man enough to speak out against your team go and say it to the managers face rather than telling tales. Yes, I am talking to you Mr Barton.<br />
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<b><i>Sunil</i></b><br />
<br />Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com71tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-58234546648469365992012-07-01T14:22:00.002+01:002012-07-01T14:24:52.243+01:00Is Super Mario so often vilified because he is black?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A slightly controversial headline today regarding Monsieur Balotelli from yours truly in preparation for today's Euro 2012 final. This is something which has been on my mind for a while but whether any of it is any true is entirely a different matter.<br />
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Anyway, firstly back to the game between the Germans and the assured Azzuri which was perhaps provided one of the most surprising results of the tournament so far. I fancied the Germans strongly for this one and placed a massive £10 on the Germans to emerge successful, money which disappeared in the blink of any eye on the first half thanks to Super Mario's smashing double. <br />
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I actually missed the first half of this game as I was standing outside having beers whilst the game was on inside (don't ask) but I have seen the two marvellous goals since as well as Mario's lovely emotional celebration.<br />
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The Germans quite frankly didn't turn up (did they not realise I had money on them to win?) and in the 2nd half Italy probably should have added to their tally if it wasn't for some wayward finishing.<br />
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So back to Balotelli, who has so often been quoted as an enigma, a genius and a downright tool in equal measures. Throughout the whole of last season, I am not sure if I ever read a newspaper article which gave him any praise. Aside from the column inches dedicated to his off field antics (many of them actually him acting in a positive manner), it seemed that every mistake or error he made would be followed by tirades of criticism from football writers. Last season, Balotelli did have a few misdemeanours but only had 2 sendings off, one against Arsenal and and one against Liverpool (debatable). He did make a bad tackle on Alex Song and the Scott Parker stamp was later punished for (though this again wasn't clear in my view).<br />
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However, he did score a number of crucial goals in City's season, including decisive penalties in the last minutes of games, some outrageous finishes (off the shoulder vs Norwich) and of course not forgetting setting up the winning goal in the Premiership finale.<br />
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People talk about him being a bit mad, a bit eccentric but isn't all this blown out of proportion? If you see the guy interviewed, he comes across as someone fairly humble in my eyes, no better shown then when he dedicated the winning goal to his own mother (gush).<br />
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Ok, his disciplinary record may not be brilliant but why does it attract so much attention? Is his tackling any worse than say a Paul Scholes (often Andy Gray would simply laugh at his tackling rather than criticise)? Has he ever done anything as ridiculous and disgusting as Carlos Tevez did last season? Wasn't it funny how everyone praised Mancini's handling of the Tevez affair when initially everyone said that he should never be allowed to play for that team again? Ah, but Tevez could be the difference between winning the League people eulogised. It seems certain individuals have short memories when it comes to certain people.<br />
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In my view, I think a lot of people look at him as an angry black man and judge him based on this horrible stereotype. People often says how that in his performances he often looks lazy and uninterested. So you could say that basically, he performs a bit like Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who in contrast doesn't attract anywhere near as much stick. Balotelli's goalscoring record stands up to anyone else's at his young age let's face it. He also had to deal with a torrent of racist abuse from his own Italian fans when he was at Inter Milan so in my view, the guy deserves massive amounts of credit, way more than he has been getting. The guy is only 21 for crying out loud, cut the guy some slack.<br />
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Come Sunday, he could well become a national hero, but you can almost bet your bottom dollar that if he doesn't give a world beating performance on Sunday night, people will be queuing up to lay into him , left, right and centre. And I wonder why that may be?<br />
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<b><i>Sunil</i></b>Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-28680736238975314792012-06-30T18:09:00.002+01:002012-06-30T18:09:19.270+01:00Magnum Look Ronaldo Fails To Do His Maths..<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So, another scintillating goal-fest in the Euros in the first Semi-Final between Spain and Portugal. This was a real game for the purists, with attacking football at is finest, and chances being created nearly every minute in front of a capacity crowd who could barely control their excitement.<br />
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Ok, maybe not. In fact, aside from an interesting first half the game had about as much sparkle as a bottle of Blue Nun. The game was so boring in fact, that I actually spent most of the game talking to my flatmate about an interesting Mathematics problem which had won me a bet at work.<br />
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The premise was that I had bet my colleague the princely sum of £5 that two people on my floor would have exactly the same birthday. Needless to say the poor mug accepted the challenge thinking that with only around 40 people, the probability would be next to zero. Alas, he was merked in double quick time as it transpired that the girl sitting behind me actually had the same birthday as yours truly, 19th November (just in case you want to send a present later on in the year). An easy way for all of you to make money really, all you need is around 40 people or more and you are nearly almost guaranteed to win it. If you are sad and want an explanation to this madness then let me know and I will send the answer to you via pen and paper.<br />
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Anyway, back to the game, and another man who failed to do his maths correctly. That's right, the fake Ronaldo thought that by putting his name last on the shoot out list that he would help his team qualify for the final. What was going through his mind I am not entirely sure. Stupidity, arrogance or perhaps just pure selfishness? Was he simply hoping to take all the glory? Can he not count? He may have been Portugal's best player but this idiotic decision showed a rather pathetic side to someone who was perhaps in contention for player of the tournament.<br />
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On another note, am I the only person getting annoyed with the ridiculous amount of preparation and posturing we see every time he takes a free kick? I will confess that I don't see that much of La Liga these days so I am not sure how many set pieces he actually powers home, but it seems to be the amount of free kicks he misses by a mile seem to outweigh those that actually hit the onion bag. Is he simply trying to imitate the Magnum look from Zoolander? Either way, its getting on my tit in a pretty big way<br />
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So, what of the Spanish? More tedium and never-ending foreplay from our footballing hombres mean that they are resounding winners of "Cock-Tease of the Tournament." They did try to start with a striker this time, but unfortunately for all of us, they started with the wrong one. The utterly hapless Negrido being hooked in the second half to be replaced by yet more midfielders.<br />
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Torres must be pretty mystified as to what's going on but Del Bosque's antics have got the Spanish to the final so I suppose he cannot really argue too much. I just hope for everyone's sakes that they regain a cutting edge and attacking intent so that we can get the outstanding final to cap what in my view as been a disappointingly average tournament.<br />
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<b><i>Sunil</i></b><br />
<br />Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com238tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-22744885812072992442012-06-26T23:03:00.005+01:002012-06-26T23:06:49.128+01:00Peerless Pirlo helps send England packing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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If there is to be one enduring image of England's last throws in Euro 2012 then it would surely be that of the magnificent Andrea Pirlo brilliantly chipping home from 12 yards. This penalty helped to switch the momentum of the shoot out and the rest as we know is history...(and those who read my previous article will see I actually predicted a penalty win for the Italians, I hope you all cashed in like I did)<br />
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It was fitting that Pirlo was to have such a wonderful individual moment after his exceptional display helped ruthlessly expose the functional and rigid midfield which was set out by England. Those who watched the game will know that Scott Parker was so knackered that he had to be substituted and whilst his partner in crime Steven Gerrard was suffering with cramp after playing only for 70 minutes. In the meantime, 78 year old Pirlo (slight exaggeration I know) was trotting around the pitch for a full 2 hours with all the energy and gusto of a 16 year old who had just had his first shag. Embarrassing for England? Ever so slightly.<br />
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Italy deserved to win in my view, no doubt about it. Aside from an early 15 minute spell where England should have taken the lead (and also a couple of blatant penalty shouts) the Italians dominated from start to finish with enough chances to have finished the game off well before the final shoot out.<br />
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What was probably the most galling for England fans was the way in which Pirlo bossed the whole game in its entirerity. In this well known average Italian side, everyone knew before kick off that by stifling him and denying him time and space, England would have had a great chance of winning the game.<br />
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However, the 4-4-2 which had served England so well so far proved to be a complete mismatch. But Italy also play 4-4-2 I hear you cry. The difference is that over the years, when playing 4-4-2 the English players do not have the flexibility or fluidity to work this in their favour. <br />
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The Italians used a rather obvious tactic but one which worked for the whole game pretty much unopposed. With Pirlo dropping deep to win the ball (often with no one within 20 yards of him), the 2 wide Italian players would tuck in slightly, drawing in Milner (& Young with them). With these 2 options nullified, Pirlo would simply get his head up and spray it wide to the wide full backs and the play would build from there. Simples.<br />
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With possession surrendered so easily, it was no wonder that English players were chasing shadows for the whole game. Anyone who has played the game will know that once you have chased the ball for so long, by the time you have got it back, you are too knackered to be able to do anything with it.<br />
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If anyone dare look back at the full match then you can probably count on one hand the amount of times that Buffon kicked the ball long, whereas Hart seemed to be clobbering the ball forward at every opportunity (even before the Gypsy was on the pitch). Is this not just basic football sense?<br />
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England's ball retention has been poor for what seems an eternity now but throughout this tournament have we ever seen them put together a concerted amount of possession football together? No, me neither.<br />
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So where do England go from here? To be fair to Roy, I think he did probably the best he could do in this tournament. When you know you only have Henderson on the bench as back up, you know you have problems within the squad. As all good managers do , he concentrated on making England hard to beat, and the defence has been fairly solid. England also won the group which was probably beyond expectations of most people.<br />
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So what does Roy need to do? The problem of England technical ability in possession is something that wont be addressed for years to come. Roys tactics will be interesting going forward. As a WBA fan, I have a better knowledge than most. <br />
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To put it simply, Roy prefers 4-4-2, no one in their right mind cannot deny that. However,although WBA eventually secured a comfortable mid-table finish, there were a lot of angry fans earlier on in the season (me included). All fans knew at the time that our players were best suited to a fluid 4-5-1 formation but Roy insisted on forcing players into his favoured 4-4-2 which led to a massive shortage of goals and one of the worst home records in the Premiership.<br />
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However, as things looked bleak, a shift to 4-5-1 in our away game at Wolves resulted in a 5-1 spanking over those utter, utter c*nts. From then on, the rest was history as we comfortably strolled to mid-table safety having reverted to the formation the fans all wanted to see.<br />
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So perhaps there is promise that Roy may perhaps become more flexible depending what players he has at his disposal. With most team in world football tending to flood the midfield this is something which would need to be experimented with sooner rather than later (a bit like Capello tried in his last few games).<br />
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Roy's also general way of thinking is that his teams rarely play on the front foot and take the initiative. In one game at home against Swansea last year we conceded 80% of possession! Over the course of a season, Roy's pragmatism will generally pay off but will this approach suit tournament football and knockout competitions. Will he have the cojones to really go for it when it comes to crunch? That will have to remain to be seen.<br />
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I suppose fundamentally we have to ask, do England really have the players to challenge at the highest level . The current squad members would suggest not, with a transition period set to be on the horizon. One player who continues to mystify is Wayne Rooney. Once the golden boy for England he has continued to disappoint. Whilst he continues to fire regularly for Man Utd, has he really shown enough to convince fans he can lead England to former glories? He looked woefully out of touch in the Euros and his goal record at Man Utd has been a series of gluts and famines. Does he really have the consistency and quality to be classed a truly great player at international level? The jury is well and truly out.<br />
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One positive thing people may argue is that the players had heart and courage throughout this tournament but that is something which slightly annoys me. How do we measure heart and courage in football? Is it simply running around, closing down the opposition , making goal-line clearances? Should it not be a given that all teams try and do these things? Is courage and heart just another way of saying that a team are not very good with the ball? If thats the case, then England have it in abundance.<br />
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Or is courage having the nerve to accept the ball in tight situations, to try and beat a man, to demand possession when no else wants it, or look the opposition in the eye, take a chipped penalty and say "I am going to dominate you in this game and whether you like it or not "(alas Pirlo). If its the latter, then England have a long, long way to go.<br />
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<b><i>Sunil</i></b><br />
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<br />Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-36339991991410607312012-06-24T15:13:00.000+01:002012-06-24T15:13:08.400+01:00Euro 2012 Quarter Final Round Up...But Sunil, all of the quarter finals haven't been played yet I hear you cry. Very true, but I have bugger all to do before today's game, I am feeling a bit hungover after getting in at 4am, the weather is $hit outside, and so I thought I would do it anyway. A summary of the England defeat to Italy on penalties will follow later on during the week ;-)<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Germany Vs Greece</span></b><br />
Another Germany game, another handsome victory for Europe's economic powerhouse. As if the state of the Greek economy wasn't bad enough, the Germans decided to rub the Greeks noses in it with a terrific performance to cruise into the semi-finals.<br />
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The Germans decided to send out the reserves for this one, which was a massive gamble. It certainly fooled me, who naively bet on Podolski to score at anytime (and he didn't even make it off the bench). The result was no different than expected and aside from a mad 5 minutes after the break, the Germans were extremely accomplished throughout.<br />
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The Greeks as expected decided to park the bus but its fair to say their anti-football tactics were pretty terrible to watch. Having somehow got through the group stages it would have been nice to have seem them be a bit forceful but instead they allowed wave after wave of German attack to slice through before the inevitable happened and Lahm smashed one from 25 yards.<br />
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At half time, it seemed just a question of how many but a classic breakaway allowed Jesus to bundle home the equaliser, before the Germans class showed and they hammered in a few more goals to give a more realistic look to the scoreline. <br />
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Not much controversy in this game and even less humour in this very boring match report so I am just going to chuck in some look-a-likes that I observed from this game to lighten the mood.<br />
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<b>Jesus & Samaras</b><br />
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<b>Gomez and Mr McFly (Back to the Future)</b><br />
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<b>Ozil and Stewie Griffin</b><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Spain Vs France</b></span><br />
I watched this game in the pub on Saturday night but pretty much nearly fell asleep during the game if I am honest. Bizarre French tactics of trying to defend all game plus the inevitable Spanish procedure of passing the opposition to death led to an absolute coma of a match. A bit like walking into a room and finding your parents having sex, tuning into this game is something which you probably never wished you had done (and something which would also need to be removed from the memory as soon as possible)<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Portugal Vs Czech Republic</b></span><br />
There are many mysteries in life. How does James Corden manage to get so much work? Why do people still pay for porn? Why do girls insist of f*cking with your mind at every opportunity? And add to this list the greatest mystery of them all. How does the fake Ronaldo get so much oil into his hair before kick off? Seeing him in this game was like watching a greased up version of Clarke Kent and in true Superman style he came to rescue with a late winner to break Czech hearts and also meant that my bet for the Portugese to win the 2nd half came good (get in you beauty!).<br />
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The Portugese are slowly growing into this tournament although it is hard to see how they would fair if the opposition could find a way to snuff out Ronaldo. My personal tip would be to man mark him with about 5 players because the rest of the team don't seem to be up much let's face it.<br />
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<b><i>Sunil</i></b>Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7694689337264495979.post-74150906497195064482012-06-19T23:55:00.002+01:002012-06-19T23:55:44.154+01:00Euro 2012 Group Stage Round Up...That's right folks, after a year away from the limelight, I am back in your face like an unwanted comeback from Steps with my expert analysis on all things Euro 2012. I will admit that like the dancing popsters, it is very unlikely that I will be hitting the heights of the glory days but I promise that at least I haven't become as fat as the the blonde one. A big shout out to the thousands of you who have been clamouring for my comeback (well one person actually), and I will try my hardest not to disappoint. Alas, there will be no Roastwatch specials for you to feast your eyes upon but I will probably throw in the odd picture of a WAG or hottie to keep your interests heightened.<br />
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Those of you who know me fairly well will know that my lack of updates during possibly the most exciting Premier League of recent times was down to a combination of a massive lack of interest in all things football at the time and also the fact I don't have Sky TV/refuse to watch MOTD when WBA lose. Alas, no such excuses this time as everything is on the old terrestrial. However, I will confess that I have not seen all the games in these Euros due to work commitments so forgive me if my analysis is complete and utter bullcrap.<br />
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Here is my take on the football fest so far....<br />
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<b>Disappointment of the Tournament</b><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">This without a doubt has to be The Dutch who have been sent packing without even scoring a measly point. A serious lack of firepower is what has cost them as well as some Keystone Kops defending. Their display kind of reminds of Cheryl Cole (or just Cheryl as she is apparently now known). They look good, have all the attributes, promise plenty, have a lifetime of hype behind them but ultimately when they hit the main stage, their performances have been atrocious. I would still stick it to them though (just Cheryl of course).</span><br />
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<b>Worst Pundit of the Tournament</b><br />
This category is a tie between Messrs Shearer and Carragher. Whilst Dixon, Hansen, Martinez and even Mr Roy Keane provide insightful, technical and expert analysis on each game Mr Shearer can only help but trot out cliché after cliché such as "You have to take your chances..it's a game of 2 halves." Is this guy a white version of Garth Crooks? A complete non entity of a pundit. As for Carragher the reason he is in this category is not because I disagree with his analysis but purely and simply because I cannot understand a single bloody word coming out his mouth. I wish that Roy would stick one one him. And lets face it, he probably would enjoy it<br />
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<b>The "You Should Retire Award"</b><br />
Shay Given - Anyone else think that Harry Redknapp's wife might have performed better in goal?<br />
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<b>Most Annoying Team of the Tournament</b><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">Whilst people w*nk themselves stupid over Spain's Tic-Tac football (or whatever its called) perhaps someone should remind them that the aim of the game is to actually put the ball in the net? Watching them play with no striker was infuriating to say the least and it was a bit like watching a </span><span style="background-color: white;">slightly</span><span style="background-color: white;"> more annoying version of Arsenal. Watching Spain play is like </span><span style="background-color: white;">playing</span><span style="background-color: white;"> table football. You know when you play with just those 3 guys at the top of the pitch who cant actually reach the penalty area because they are stuck there? Possession may be 9/10ths of the law but I would like to tell my hombres that the other 1/10th involves TRYING TO SCORE A GOAL.</span><br />
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<b>Goal of the Tournament</b><br />
There have been some humdingers so far with Robin Van Persie, Zlatan and Super Mario crashing in some fine efforts. However, for the sheer orgasmic footballing story it would have to be that Polish guy crashing in an equalizer against the Russians. Word is, when he was younger he witnessed his parents murdered in cold blood and so this truly was a fairytale for the Polish captain. I could probably fabricate some shit joke to go with this but not even I would stoop lower than a snake's belly in this instance. <br />
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<b>Team of the Tournament</b><br />
In terms of results, this could potentially be England but in terms of all out swagger it would have to those pesky Germans. Playing easy on the eye football combined with a terrific work rate, they have to be tournament favourites, and in Mario Gomes they possess a true matchwinner. Uwe Rosler would be proud<br />
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<b>A few other observations</b><br />
1) Each time a goal is scored the tannoy booms out Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes. Whilst I cannot help but hum along, am I the only person who thinks that the Chase the Sun by Planet Funk would be a much better song? Or have I just been watching too much darts??!? (link below)<br />
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfxUn1PjoLQ">Planet Funk - Chase the Sun</a><br />
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2) Does everyone remember when South Africa scored in the World Cup and they did that really awesome celebration to open the tournament/ (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exa-iVstj24">SA Celebration</a>).? Where the bloody hell is the imagination these days? All this hugging and fist pumping is very nice but its hardly original is it? Where are the choreographed dance routines? The Dentist's Chair? Come on guys, sort it out<br />
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3) What the f*ck is going on with Rooney's hair? When I flicked on the Ukraine game I though Frankie Howard had been brought back from the dead. Madness.<br />
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4) I have to say that one of the major pluses of having the game in Polkraine is that if there is not much action happening on the pitch then the camera swiftly pans to the lovely ladies in the crowd, and my word (this one is for you Ray Wilkins), some of those Poles and Ukranians have unbelievable tekkers. Keep up the good work<br />
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5) Can someone please explain to me what those officials in the penalty box are actually doing? They never make decisions such as penalties/goal-line issues which affect the game and what the bloody hell are they holding in their hands? Telescopes? Magic Wands? Or is just something used for S & M purposes. Either way, whatever they are meant to be doing, they are clearly pointless so please can you remove them from the football brain like the tumour that they are. A thank you.<br />
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<b><i>Sunil</i></b><br />
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<br />Kofihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00601719834781121269noreply@blogger.com179