Is lack of intelligence the cause of England's woes?

As England were sent crashing out of the World Cup, I am sure that everyone was queuing up to offer their reasons for England's demise. Unusually, though perhaps there didn't seem to be an obvious reason this time for England's failure to qualify for the Group Stages.  The team played ok but were not brilliant, the coach seemed to have prepared them well and we cannot even blame England's ludicrous record from penalties this time.

The usual excuses seem to have all run their course and since 1966 it seems like England have tried nearly everything without ever really looking like making a major imprint on the world stage.  We have tried English managers, foreign managers, youth, experience, pragmatism and also attacking football. We failed in hot countries, in cold countries, we have taken teams to isolated camps, we have taken teams to integrated areas.  So is there some underlying reason for England's failure that we are all missing out on? Is there a reason that we are just perhaps not very good?

If someone could answer that million pound question then I am sure it would have been done already and England would be World Cup Winners but personally think that one reason for England's failure to perform in big tournaments could be what I would deem to be lack of intelligence.

Footballers need many qualities and abilities for their profession.  Physical strength, skill, speed and perhaps an often ignored attribute...intelligence.  In all forms of life, intelligent people are generally good decision makers, find solutions and more often than not, remain calm under pressure.  As I sit watching the Germans play without a recognised striker and create chance after chance I can only be impressed with their ability and awareness on how to play their football.  Could anyone else imagine England playing tournament football without a recognised striker?

How often have we seen in major tournaments England's perceived lack of game management, naivety and in general, their lack of awareness on how to win games. How often have we bemoaned their lack of ability to maintain possession or to close a game out? Against Italy and Uruguay the team had done well to pull level but then did not seem to know how to get the result required.

I think my intelligence argument has been heightened by looking at some of the punditry on the TV this year. Maybe I am just a sucker for a foreign accent but don't all the foreign footballers just sound more intelligent than England's? A certain Carlton Palmer was blaming Hodgson, saying he hadn't taken sufficient risks, despite the fact he played with 4 attacking players in each game. This sort of crude analysis makes you wonder what on earth he had been watching.

On the other hand,  the likes of Seedorf, Henry, and Vieira all seem to speak with a certain wit, widsom and smartness which embarrasses the likes of Savage, Shearer and such like.  In fact, I would go as so far as to say that even their English is better than the British nationals themselves.

Could anyone else imagine a Rio Ferdinand, a John Terry, a David Beckham or a Wayne Rooney going onto Brazilian TV and getting involved with the banter with Fernanda Lima. I don't think so.   These guys can barely put three words together in their own language, let alone a foreign tongue.

Associated with this is the lack of English players going abroad to other countries. You can probably count on one hand the amount of English players who have gone abroad in the last thirty years. The challenge of integrating into another culture, learning a new language, embracing different styles and opinions is a challenge which has not been befitting of many of the current crop of English players and dare I say requires a certain level of intelligence and know how.

Whilst I know England as a whole struggles with languages, how wonderful is it to see other players from foreign countries quickly assimilating into other cultures and fitting into their lifestyle.  Patrick Vieria, Gus Poyet, and Gianluca Vialli for example,  when the first came to England could not speak a word of English but within a couple of years were speaking extremely fluently.  And what do we get from English footballers in their post match interviews? "At the end of the day it was a tough game....etc etc."  Hardly the most inspiring of words.

So how does this lack of intelligence and awareness possibly translate to the pitch?  I think game management would be the main area, as it appears that English players only appear to know how to play the English way.  Often it is derided.."Why can't we play like Spain, Germany etc?". But this is not something you can just switch on and off, it's something which can only be learnt by playing with these players in different countries, gaining a deeper understanding of what makes them tick, how they play their football.

I'm not suggest that all footballers must be contestants on Countdown every week but perhaps a bit more footballing "education" (that's a nine letter word btw) would not go amiss and may help England arise out of their irritable slumber.

Sunil

Commentary Capers and Pundit Perfection Making This A World Cup To Remember

Although we are barely into this Group Stages, I can hand on heart say that this is probably best World Cup I have seen in my lifetime so far. I will stop short of saying it's been the best ever, mainly because I have only seen highlights of all the World Cups prior to the auspicious day of my birth, that cold wintry afternoon in November 1983.

This World Cup has had everything that you would wish for (aside from an England win).  Riots, beaches, goals, controversy, red cards, last minute winners and upsets.  However, one of the main highlights for me has been some of the hilarious commentary and analysis which has taken place in the respective studios on BBC1 and ITV.

My personal pick has been Thierry Henry, who at times, despite the fact he is so relaxed that he looks like he has woken from a coma, has provided some superb wit and dare I say "va va voom" with his expert analysis.

I am sure many of you have seen the Twitter picture doing the rounds (as above) as a poor Robbie Savage has been somewhat put in his place on numerous occasions.  Whilst Robbie will compare a match with his memories from a cold night at Filbert Street, Mr Henry will instead draw on his considerable experience, name dropping on such a regular basis it's almost an embarrassment.  In every game, he seems to have played alongside or against the player on show. "I remember, playing with Marquez...and Yaya...and Alves" or "I remember playing in the World Cup Final...I remember needing to score winning the League."  If it was anyone else I would say he was an arrogant pr*ck, but he pulls it off with such panache it's hard not to just hope he does it on a more regular basis.

If he hasn't played with the guys then he has often just socialised with them.  "I was talking with Clarence the other night at the beach..and told him that Robbie's hair looks ridiculous" was probably my personal favourite(!)

A special mention also to the BBC for placing Neil Lennon next to a certain Mr Shearer. Unfortunately, the two seemed to get along a little bit too nicely.  For those unsure of the significance of this, take a look at this little clip

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8fMbxLTpps

The commentary has been a slightly mixed bag with the dull tones of Monsieur Philip Neville and Andy "He's gotta do better there Clive" Townsend heaping misery upon millions of viewers throughout the nation.

However, I don't think there will be many of you who would disagree that Jonathan Pearce's antics during the France Vs Honduras game were the pick of the tournament.  Good old Jonno thought that he had managed to discover a flaw in the Goaline Technology System only for a rather embarrassed Martin Keown to step in. For those who missed it, a quick summary is here

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/worldcup/world-cup-2014-bbc-presenter-jonathan-pearce-gets-in-a-mess-over-goalline-technology-9540780.html

It kind of made reminded me of if he was trying to get into a nightclub one night

Jonno : "You said that if I wore a shirt and shoes, you would let me in!!"

Doorman : "Sorry, we cannot let you in dressed like that"

Jonno : "What, this is a disgrace!".  You said to dress smart and I have, this is totally unfair! You are breaking the club's door policy!"

Keown : "You aren't wearing any pants or trousers Jonno"

Jonno ; "Ah ok......"

On a completely separate note, has anyone noticed the uncanny resemblance (give me some leeway here) between the Mexican manager Miguel Herrera and the BNP leader Nick Griffin?  Ok, actually, on second thoughts, it looks like there is none.  On that note, I better do a Robbie Savage and get my coat...

Sunil

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Rooney?

A somewhat disappointing result for England in their opening game against the Italians in Manaus which based on a decent all round performance, was perhaps undeserved.  A vast improvement on their atrocious display against the same opposition two years ago, the result still offers considerable hope that they will win their next two games in order to reach the knockout stages.

Much of the post match analysis has revolved around the role of the much maligned Rooney (who I had the misfortune of receiving in the sweepstake at work).  I think that first of all any criticism of the player in this particular match is pretty much unwarranted and unjustified. Any individual who is played out of position to play his part for the team deserves every single bit of credit.  Rooney is not a left sided player and never will be (despite his sumptuous assist for Sturridge) and any influence his game has is always going to be restricted in such a wide position.  Defensively, he left Baines exposed on numerous occasions, but this is to be expected when a player is instructed to try and curtail his natural instincts to drift inside and support the striker.

Some of the criticism from Shearer on the BBC I thought was incredibly harsh. Granted, Rooney had a good chance to at least hit the target. However, having been starved of the ball all game and then popping up in his favoured central position it' a bit much to suggest he should have scored.  If he played in the central striking role all game then he probably would have had more chances and he may have put it away.

Interestingly, a lot of people think that the easy answer to the problem is to shift Rooney inside into his natural position, playing in behind the striker.  However, I think this is slightly misguided for a few reasons.

Firstly, this would mean shifting Sterling back out wide, probably England's most penetrative player which I don't think would be a good idea. Secondly, I think that by bringing him inside, England would effectively be playing a 4-4-2 as Rooney is not and never will be an attacking midfielder.  He no longer has that ability to drift past players, deliver those really intricate passes in the final third.  Yes he may drop off, but his tendency will then just to be to fire a 40 yard pass out wide and make his way into the box. Very few teams play with such a partnership these days, and more often than not, the support striker is a player who can provide some energy and excitement to the play i.e Sterling.

In my view, this leaves only one option and that is to leave Wayne on the bench (assuming Sturridge is fit). I would bring Lallana in on the left hand side. Whilst this may seem slightly negative, I think this would give the side better balance.  I think Welbeck on the other flank is perhaps another liability, but with limited options (no thank you Milner) I think he will probably retain his place.  For the Uruguay game, Barkley and Rooney should be brought on as impact players.

Now that the boring stuff is out the way, let's look at some other interesting points from some of the footage so far.

Thierry Henry has provided some much entertainment on the BBC and one of my friends interestingly thinks that he was perhaps smoking something either before or during the coverage, and I wouldn't disagree with that. His comment that Pirlo deliberately hit the crossbar with his free kick was my personal highlight.

The uglier of the Neville brothers has come in for a fair amount of deserved stick of this punditry during the match and it's fair to say that he was probably the worst person to have commentating on such a late kick off. For those who had nearly fallen asleep anyway, his dull, expressionless tones probably sent half the country into a coma long before the match had ended.  Who needs hypnosis to send people to sleep when you have commentary like that?  Pitchside expert Danny Murphy was much more worthy of taking a spot in the commentary box with his incisive and clever analysis.  Although perhaps their roles were not reversed as Monsieur Neville has a better face for commentary.....

.....and finally it's fair to say that all of the games have been pretty entertaining so far.  But even the most boring of matches will be lit up by the rather hilarious confirmation of all goals using the Goal-line technology. When the ball has been smashed into the back of the next it's good that we see those 50 different angles to show that the ball has indeed crossed the line...what on earth are these guys up to?

Sunil

Nifty Neymar gives Brazil home comforts

A somewhat fortuitous win for the hosts ensured that the World Cup went off with a bang tonight.  A scuffed daisy cutter, a very dubious penalty and a toepunt that I would have been proud off finally saw off a dogged Croatian side in the first game of the tournament and put Brazil firmly in the driving seat to qualify for the next round.

I am sure most of you have seen the game so I won't write out a boring match report but instead highlight some general thoughts around the opening of the greatest competition in World Sport.

I decided to make the executive decision to leave work early today to come home and make sure I saw the opening ceremony.  Probably one of the worst decisions I have made since I took what I thought was a girl home "that night in Thailand" a few years ago.  I admit opening ceremonies are generally boring but where was the samba based dance fest that everyone was hoping for and expecting?  The gyrating women?  The flavour of carnival?  Instead we got that complete and utter b*llend Pitbull, a ropey looking J-Lo and what I can only assume was her body double (I genuinely have no idea who the other woman was). A massive disappointment and one that won't linger long in the memory....

...and talking of things that don't last long (wait there a minute)..what an amazing thing that vanishing spray is.  I am sure that I was not the only person who was thinking of all the amazing uses for this stuff.  Most of them won't be publishable I would imagine but this really could be the invention of the decade.  It's a shame I suppose that the whole of the opening ceremony was not sprayed in the stuff..

Kudos to Croatia for trying every trick in the book to try and win tonight, including hiring Keanu Reeves as manager. A thoroughly ballsy decision I have to say...also shows that he has more in his locker than being a sh*t actor.  He hasn't minced his words either with his post match quotes

" "If that's how we start the World Cup, we'd better give it up now and go home.

"We talk about respect, that wasn't respect, Croatia didn't get any.

"If that's a penalty, we don't need to play football anymore. Let's play basketball instead, it's a shame."

More of the same please Keanu!

Sunil

My Early Season Rants...

So, the wonderful Premier League is back in action.  I have been meaning to update the blog more regularly but those who know me well (or fairly well) will know that I have had a load more important stuff to deal with including the birth of my first child.  Anyhow, now that's out the way and the little blighter has been successfully baptised at the Shrine (aka the Hawthorns) I am now ready to begin this season in earnest. In traditional fashion, I will begin with a big ranting session

Brendan Rodgers & Liverpool 

The clowns from Merseyside are a complete and utter embarrassment and I took great privilege from the fact that they my beloved Baggies whooped them on the first day of the season.  Anyhow, a lot of people have been expressing sympathy to Mr Rodgers following the end of the transfer window but for me this is a little bit misguided.

Ok, I am not going to deny that Mr Rodgers is paying for KKKs excessive spending last season and obviously he got shafted when he let Carroll go on the basis that a replacement would be brought in.  However, it is pretty clear that when Rodgers came in he was not a fan of Carroll and did not want him in his team.  I am guessing this is because he did not fit into his footballing "philosophy". For me, this was incredibly arrogant and naive of Rodgers to take this approach. His mistake was stating that the club would not want a £35m man on the bench.  But the point is that Andy Carroll is not worth £35m.  However, he is a great target man who would fit in well at any mid-table club (i.e Liverpool).  For Rodgers to expect Suarez to lead the attack on his own and score enough goals was pretty naive, considering that his finishing can at times be as clinical as Savo Milosevic back in the day (if you don't know who he is then get off my Blog).  Anyway, for Rodgers to alienate the only other striker at the club was pretty silly in my book and ultimately he has been left embarassed after stating about 2 months ago there was no way he would leave on loan.

Then, we have the issue of what Rodgers spent his budget on.  To my calculation, he spent around £25m on two players, including a whopping £15m on Joe Allen.  The remainder was spent on that well known prolific striker Fabio Borini.  Granted, the guy Allen looks a decent buy.  But £15m? Do me a favour. If Rodgers is the visionary that Liverpool are hoping for then I sure as help his scouting system improves.  He spent all his budget on 2 players who worked with him at Swansea for Christ's sake!  This is the guy who wanted "total control" at the club and to be the main man.

Any knowledgeable person will know that Swansea had been a successful team because they had a very good structure set up. They have been playing fantastic football under Martinez, Sousa and Rodgers and now Laudrup.  I don't think it was anything specifically to do with Rodgers (I will happily hold my hands up if I am proved wrong)

I personally think it will all end in tears

Roy Hodgson

I love Woy, as most Baggies fans do.  But although not inflammatory, I thought his comments today but the current crop of English players in the Premiership was a bit misguided.  He indicated that due to the high presence of Europeans in the league, its harder for English players to break through.  I think this is a little outdated. It goes without saying that England's qualifying record has actually got much better since the influx of foreign players into the Premiership.  If the top quality foreign players were not here in our league then their places would be taken by the likes of Francis Benali, Mark Hateley and Steve Morrow.  I rest my case

AVB

Is it wrong to be jealous of his incredibly manly voice?

Garth Crooks 

Anyone who observes his team of the week will know that this pillock will simply choose his team on who scores a goal that weekend, without actually reviewing any performances from the players from less noted teams.  It upsets me that he is being paid to produce this garbage week after week.

Tw@tter

Is it just me or should all playing footballers be banned from ranting at their own team on this thing?  Massively unprofessional and childish.  If you are man enough to speak out against your team go and say it to the managers face rather than telling tales.  Yes, I am talking to you Mr Barton.

Sunil

Is Super Mario so often vilified because he is black?

A slightly controversial headline today regarding Monsieur Balotelli from yours truly in preparation for today's Euro 2012 final.  This is something which has been on my mind for a while but whether any of it is any true is entirely a different matter.

Anyway, firstly back to the game between the Germans and the assured Azzuri which was perhaps provided one of the most surprising results of the tournament so far.  I fancied the Germans strongly for this one and placed a massive £10 on the Germans to emerge successful, money which disappeared in the blink of any eye on the first half thanks to Super Mario's smashing double.

I actually missed the first half of this game as I was standing outside having beers whilst the game was on inside (don't ask) but I have seen the two marvellous goals since as well as Mario's lovely emotional celebration.

The Germans quite frankly didn't turn up (did they not realise I had money on them to win?) and in the 2nd half Italy probably should have added to their tally if it wasn't for some wayward finishing.

So back to Balotelli, who has so often been quoted as an enigma, a genius and a downright tool in equal measures.  Throughout the whole of last season, I am not sure if I ever read a newspaper article which gave him any praise.  Aside from the column inches dedicated to his off field antics (many of them actually him acting in a positive manner), it seemed that every mistake or error he made would be followed by tirades of criticism from football writers.  Last season, Balotelli did have a few misdemeanours but only had 2 sendings off, one against Arsenal and and one against Liverpool (debatable).  He did make a bad tackle on Alex Song and the Scott Parker stamp was later punished for (though this again wasn't clear in my view).

However, he did score a number of crucial goals in City's season, including decisive penalties in the last minutes of games, some outrageous finishes (off the shoulder vs Norwich) and of course not forgetting setting up the winning goal in the Premiership finale.

People talk about him being a bit mad, a bit eccentric but isn't all this blown out of proportion?  If you see the guy interviewed, he comes across as someone fairly humble in my eyes, no better shown then when he dedicated the winning goal to his own mother (gush).

Ok, his disciplinary record may not be brilliant but why does it attract so much attention?  Is his tackling any worse than say a Paul Scholes (often Andy Gray would simply laugh at his tackling rather than criticise)?  Has he ever done anything as ridiculous and disgusting as Carlos Tevez did last season?  Wasn't it funny how everyone praised Mancini's handling of the Tevez affair when initially everyone said that he should never be allowed to play for that team again?  Ah, but Tevez could be the difference between winning the League people eulogised.  It seems certain individuals have short memories when it comes to certain people.

In my view, I think a lot of people look at him as an angry black man and judge him based on this horrible stereotype. People often says how that in his performances he often looks lazy and uninterested.  So you could say that basically, he performs a bit like Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who in contrast doesn't attract anywhere near as much stick.  Balotelli's goalscoring record stands up to anyone else's at his young age let's face it.  He also had to deal with a torrent of racist abuse from his own Italian fans when he was at Inter Milan so in my view, the guy deserves massive amounts of credit, way more than he has been getting.  The guy is only 21 for crying out loud, cut the guy some slack.

Come Sunday, he could well become a national hero, but you can almost bet your bottom dollar that if he doesn't give a world beating performance on Sunday night, people will be queuing up to lay into him , left, right and centre.  And I wonder why that may be?

Sunil

Magnum Look Ronaldo Fails To Do His Maths..

So, another scintillating goal-fest in the Euros in the first Semi-Final between Spain and Portugal.  This was a real game for the purists, with attacking football at is finest, and chances being created nearly every minute in front of a capacity crowd who could barely control their excitement.

Ok, maybe not. In fact, aside from an interesting first half the game had about as much sparkle as a bottle of Blue Nun.  The game was so boring in fact, that I actually spent most of the game talking to my flatmate about an interesting Mathematics problem which had won me a bet at work.

The premise was that I had bet my colleague the princely sum of £5 that two people on my floor would have exactly the same birthday. Needless to say the poor mug accepted the challenge thinking that with only around 40 people, the probability would be next to zero.  Alas, he was merked in double quick time as it transpired that the girl sitting behind me actually had the same birthday as yours truly, 19th November (just in case you want to send a present later on in the year).  An easy way for all of you to make money really, all you need is around 40 people or more and you are nearly almost guaranteed to win it. If you are sad and want an explanation to this madness then let me know and I will send the answer to you via pen and paper.

Anyway, back to the game, and another man who failed to do his maths correctly.  That's right, the fake Ronaldo thought that by putting his name last on the shoot out list that he would help his team qualify for the final.  What was going through his mind I am not entirely sure.  Stupidity, arrogance or perhaps just pure selfishness?  Was he simply hoping to take all the glory?  Can he not count?  He may have been Portugal's best player but this idiotic decision showed a rather pathetic side to someone who was perhaps in contention for player of the tournament.

On another note, am I the only person getting annoyed with the ridiculous amount of preparation and posturing we see every time he takes a free kick?  I will confess that I don't see that much of La Liga these days so I am not sure how many set pieces he actually powers home, but it seems to be the amount of free kicks he misses by a mile seem to outweigh those that actually hit the onion bag.  Is he simply trying to imitate the Magnum look from Zoolander? Either way, its getting on my tit in a pretty big way

So, what of the Spanish?  More tedium and never-ending foreplay from our footballing hombres mean that they are resounding winners of "Cock-Tease of the Tournament."  They did try to start with a striker this time, but unfortunately for all of us, they started with the wrong one. The utterly hapless Negrido being hooked in the second half to be replaced by yet more midfielders.

Torres must be pretty mystified as to what's going on but Del Bosque's antics have got the Spanish to the final so I suppose he cannot really argue too much.  I just hope for everyone's sakes that they regain a cutting edge and attacking intent so that we can get the outstanding final to cap what in my view as been a disappointingly average tournament.

Sunil

Peerless Pirlo helps send England packing

If there is to be one enduring image of England's last throws in Euro 2012 then it would surely be that of the magnificent Andrea Pirlo brilliantly chipping home from 12 yards. This penalty helped to switch the momentum of the shoot out and the rest as we know is history...(and those who read my previous article will see I actually predicted a penalty win for the Italians, I hope you all cashed in like I did)

It was fitting that Pirlo was to have such a wonderful individual moment after his exceptional display helped ruthlessly expose the functional and rigid midfield which was set out by England.  Those who watched the game will know that Scott Parker was so knackered that he had to be substituted and whilst his partner in crime Steven Gerrard was suffering with cramp after playing only for 70 minutes.  In the meantime, 78 year old Pirlo (slight exaggeration I know) was trotting around the pitch for a full 2 hours with all the energy and gusto of a 16 year old who had just had his first shag.  Embarrassing for England?  Ever so slightly.

Italy deserved to win in my view, no doubt about it. Aside from an early 15 minute spell where England should have taken the lead (and also a couple of blatant penalty shouts) the Italians dominated from start to finish with enough chances to have finished the game off well before the final shoot out.

What was probably the most galling for England fans was the way in which Pirlo bossed the whole game in its entirerity.  In this well known average Italian side, everyone knew before kick off that by stifling him and denying him time and space, England would have had a great chance of winning the game.

However, the 4-4-2 which had served England so well so far proved to be a complete mismatch. But Italy also play 4-4-2 I hear you cry.  The difference is that over the years, when playing 4-4-2 the English players do not have the flexibility or fluidity to work this in their favour.

The Italians used a rather obvious tactic but one which worked for the whole game pretty much unopposed. With Pirlo dropping deep to win the ball (often with no one within 20 yards of him), the 2 wide Italian players would tuck in slightly, drawing in Milner (& Young with them).  With these 2 options nullified, Pirlo would simply get his head up and spray it wide to the wide full backs and the play would build from there. Simples.

With possession surrendered so easily, it was no wonder that English players were chasing shadows for the whole game.  Anyone who has played the game will know that once you have chased the ball for so long, by the time you have got it back, you are too knackered to be able to do anything with it.

If anyone dare look back at the full match then you can probably count on one hand the amount of times that Buffon kicked the ball long, whereas Hart seemed to be clobbering the ball forward at every opportunity (even before the Gypsy was on the pitch).  Is this not just basic football sense?

England's ball retention has been poor for what seems an eternity now but throughout this tournament have we ever seen them put together a concerted amount of possession football together?  No, me neither.

So where do England go from here?  To be fair to Roy, I think he did probably the best he could do in this tournament. When you know you only have Henderson on the bench as back up, you know you have problems within the squad.  As all good managers do , he concentrated on making England hard to beat, and the defence has been fairly solid.  England also won the group which was probably beyond expectations of most people.

So what does Roy need to do?  The problem of England technical ability in possession is something that wont be addressed for years to come.  Roys tactics will be interesting going forward.  As a WBA fan, I have a better knowledge than most.

To put it simply, Roy prefers 4-4-2, no one in their right mind cannot deny that. However,although WBA eventually secured a comfortable mid-table finish, there were a lot of angry fans earlier on in the season (me included). All fans knew at the time that our players were best suited to a fluid 4-5-1 formation but Roy insisted on forcing players into his favoured 4-4-2 which led to a massive shortage of goals and one of the worst home records in the Premiership.

However, as things looked bleak, a shift to 4-5-1 in our away game at Wolves resulted in a 5-1 spanking over those utter, utter c*nts.  From then on, the rest was history as we comfortably strolled to mid-table safety having reverted to the formation the fans all wanted to see.

So perhaps there is promise that Roy may perhaps become more flexible depending what players he has at his disposal. With most team in world football tending to flood the midfield this is something which would need to be experimented with sooner rather than later (a bit like Capello tried in his last few games).

Roy's also general way of thinking is that his teams rarely play on the front foot and take the initiative. In one game at home against Swansea last year we conceded 80% of possession!  Over the course of a season, Roy's pragmatism will generally pay off but will this approach suit tournament football and knockout competitions. Will he have the cojones to really go for it when it comes to crunch? That will have to remain to be seen.

I suppose fundamentally we have to ask, do England really have the players to challenge at the highest level . The current squad members would suggest not, with a transition period set to be on the horizon.  One player who continues to mystify is Wayne Rooney. Once the golden boy for England he has continued to disappoint. Whilst he continues to fire regularly for Man Utd, has he really shown enough to convince fans he can lead England to former glories?  He looked woefully out of touch in the Euros and his goal record at Man Utd has been a series of gluts and famines. Does he really have the consistency and quality to be classed a truly great player at international level?  The jury is well and truly out.

One positive thing people may argue is that the players had heart and courage throughout this tournament but that is something which slightly annoys me.  How do we measure heart and courage in football?  Is it simply running around, closing down the opposition , making goal-line clearances?  Should it not be a given that all teams try and do these things? Is courage and heart just another way of saying that a team are not very good with the ball? If thats the case, then England have it in abundance.

Or is courage having the nerve to accept the ball in tight situations, to try and beat a man, to demand possession when no else wants it,  or look the opposition in the eye, take a chipped penalty and say "I am going to dominate you in this game and whether you like it or not "(alas Pirlo). If its the latter, then England have a long, long way to go.

Sunil

Euro 2012 Quarter Final Round Up...

But Sunil, all of the quarter finals haven't been played yet I hear you cry.   Very true, but I have bugger all to do before today's game, I am feeling a bit hungover after getting in at 4am, the weather is $hit outside, and so I thought I would do it anyway.  A summary of the England defeat to Italy on penalties will follow later on during the week ;-)

Germany Vs Greece
Another Germany game, another handsome victory for Europe's economic powerhouse.  As if the state of the Greek economy wasn't bad enough, the Germans decided to rub the Greeks noses in it with a terrific performance to cruise into the semi-finals.

The Germans decided to send out the reserves for this one, which was a massive gamble. It certainly fooled me, who naively bet on Podolski to score at anytime (and he didn't even make it off the bench).  The result was no different than expected and aside from a mad 5 minutes after the break, the Germans were extremely accomplished throughout.

The Greeks as expected decided to park the bus but its fair to say their anti-football tactics were pretty terrible to watch.  Having somehow got through the group stages it would have been nice to have seem them be a bit forceful but instead they allowed wave after wave of German attack to slice through before the inevitable happened and Lahm smashed one from 25 yards.

At half time, it seemed just a question of how many but a classic breakaway allowed Jesus to bundle home the equaliser, before the Germans class showed and they hammered in a few more goals to give a more realistic look to the scoreline.

Not much controversy in this game and even less humour in this very boring match report so I am just going to chuck in some look-a-likes that I observed from this game to lighten the mood.

Jesus & Samaras

Gomez and Mr McFly (Back to the Future)

Ozil and Stewie Griffin

Spain Vs France
I watched this game in the pub on Saturday night but pretty much nearly fell asleep during the game if I am honest. Bizarre French tactics of trying to defend all game plus the inevitable Spanish procedure of passing the opposition to death led to an absolute coma of a match.  A bit like walking into a room and finding your parents having sex, tuning into this game is something which you probably never wished you had done (and something which would also need to be removed from the memory as soon as possible)

Portugal Vs Czech Republic
There are many mysteries in life. How does James Corden manage to get so much work?  Why do people still pay for porn?  Why do girls insist of f*cking with your mind at every opportunity?  And add to this list the greatest mystery of them all.  How does the fake Ronaldo get so much oil into his hair before kick off?  Seeing him in this game was like watching a greased up version of Clarke Kent and in true Superman style he came to rescue with a late winner to break Czech hearts and also meant that my bet for the Portugese to win the 2nd half came good (get in you beauty!).

The Portugese are slowly growing into this tournament although it is hard to see how they would fair if the opposition could find a way to snuff out Ronaldo.  My personal tip would be to man mark him with about 5 players because the rest of the team don't seem to be up much let's face it.

Sunil

Euro 2012 Group Stage Round Up...

That's right folks, after a year away from the limelight, I am back in your face like an unwanted comeback from Steps with my expert analysis on all things Euro 2012. I will admit that like the dancing popsters, it is very unlikely that I will be hitting the heights of the glory days but I promise that at least I haven't become as fat as the the blonde one.  A big shout out to the thousands of you who have been clamouring for my comeback (well one person actually), and I will try my hardest not to disappoint.  Alas, there will be no Roastwatch specials for you to feast your eyes upon but I will probably throw in the odd picture of a WAG or hottie to keep your interests heightened.

Those of you who know me fairly well will know that my lack of updates during possibly the most exciting Premier League of recent times was down to a combination of a massive lack of interest in all things football at the time and also the fact I don't have Sky TV/refuse to watch MOTD when WBA lose.  Alas, no such excuses this time as everything is on the old terrestrial.  However, I will confess that I have not seen all the games in these Euros due to work commitments so forgive me if my analysis is complete and utter bullcrap.

Here is my take on the football fest so far....

Disappointment of the Tournament

This without a doubt has to be The Dutch who have been sent packing without even scoring a measly point. A serious lack of firepower is what has cost them as well as some Keystone Kops defending.  Their display kind of reminds of Cheryl Cole (or just Cheryl as she is apparently now known). They look good, have all the attributes, promise plenty, have a lifetime of hype behind them but ultimately when they hit the main stage, their performances have been atrocious.  I would still stick it to them though (just Cheryl of course).

Worst Pundit of the Tournament
This category is a tie between Messrs Shearer and Carragher. Whilst Dixon, Hansen, Martinez and even Mr Roy Keane provide insightful, technical and expert analysis on each game Mr Shearer can only help but trot out cliché after cliché such as "You have to take your chances..it's a game of 2 halves."  Is this guy a white version of Garth Crooks?  A complete non entity of a pundit. As for Carragher the reason he is in this category is not because I disagree with his analysis but purely and simply because I cannot understand a single bloody word coming out his mouth.  I wish that Roy would stick one one him. And lets face it, he probably would enjoy it

The "You Should Retire Award"
Shay Given - Anyone else think that Harry Redknapp's wife might have performed better in goal?

Most Annoying Team of the Tournament

Whilst people w*nk themselves stupid over Spain's Tic-Tac football (or whatever its called) perhaps someone should remind them that the aim of the game is to actually put the ball in the net?  Watching them play with no striker was infuriating to say the least and it was a bit like watching a slightly more annoying version of Arsenal. Watching Spain play is like playing table football.  You know when you play with just those 3 guys at the top of the pitch who cant actually reach the penalty area because they are stuck there? Possession may be 9/10ths of the law but I would like to tell my hombres that the other 1/10th involves TRYING TO SCORE A GOAL.

Goal of the Tournament
There have been some humdingers so far with Robin Van Persie, Zlatan and Super Mario crashing in some fine efforts. However, for the sheer orgasmic footballing story it would have to be that Polish guy crashing in an equalizer against the Russians.  Word is, when he was younger he witnessed his parents murdered in cold blood and so this truly was a fairytale for the Polish captain. I could probably fabricate some shit joke to go with this but not even I would stoop lower than a snake's belly in this instance.

Team of the Tournament
In terms of results, this could potentially be England but in terms of all out swagger it would have to those pesky Germans.  Playing easy on the eye football combined with a terrific work rate, they have to be tournament favourites, and in Mario Gomes they possess a true matchwinner.  Uwe Rosler would be proud

A few other observations
1) Each time a goal is scored the tannoy booms out Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes. Whilst I cannot help but hum along, am I the only person who thinks that the Chase the Sun by Planet Funk would be a much better song? Or have I just been watching too much darts??!? (link below)

Planet Funk - Chase the Sun

2) Does everyone remember when South Africa scored in the World Cup and they did that really awesome celebration to open the tournament/ (SA Celebration).?  Where the bloody hell is the imagination these days? All this hugging and fist pumping is very nice but its hardly original is it?  Where are the choreographed dance routines? The Dentist's Chair?  Come on guys, sort it out

3) What the f*ck is going on with Rooney's hair?  When I flicked on the Ukraine game I though Frankie Howard had been brought back from the dead. Madness.

4) I have to say that one of the major pluses of having the game in Polkraine is that if there is not much action happening on the pitch then the camera swiftly pans to the lovely ladies in the crowd, and my word (this one is for you Ray Wilkins), some of those Poles and Ukranians have unbelievable tekkers.  Keep up the good work

5) Can someone please explain to me what those officials in the penalty box are actually doing?  They never make decisions such as penalties/goal-line issues which affect the game and what the bloody hell are they holding in their hands? Telescopes?  Magic Wands? Or is just something used for S & M purposes. Either way, whatever they are meant to be doing, they are clearly pointless so please can you remove them from the football brain like the tumour that they are. A thank you.

Sunil