David Moyes, says what we have all been thinking....

David Moyes has been accused of racism by the Nigerian football association for making claims against the real age of Yakubu. African footballers suffer greatly when it comes to whether they are the age they say they are, Ghana and Nigeria always seem to do well in competitions with age restrictions. It really makes you wonder why that hasn't always translated to future senior success, but if a bunch of 25 years olds are playing in an under 17s world cup then there really isn't a chance for everyone else is there. In senior football you then have a bunch of 40 year olds playing youngsters so now the tables have turned.

Freddy Adu is a good example, apparently he is 18 years of age now, but my mother claims that she went to school with him, so make what you want of that, just kidding. God knows how old Roger Milla was when he played in the 1994 world cup, apparently he was 42 but he may have been much older, and who knows how old Okocha is right now. My Nigerian friends always tell me its a fact that their ages are fabricated, especially as some of them may have attended school with older siblings. For example look at Kanu, he claims to be 32, and this is him as a 20 year old. Hmmmm

Yakubu claims to be the only a few months older than me, as some of you may know, I look very fresh faced, if Yakubu looks 25 then i probably look 12.


Freddy Adu is 18 allegedly, well I hope he is or the dirty thoughts he is having about Jojo in this picture would be oh so wrong.


At the end of the day who really cares, they are all great players anyway.

Here is the David Moyes story in full

Nigeria fury over Moyes comments

The Nigeria Football Association (NFA) has written to the English FA asking for Everton manager David Moyes to be sanctioned.

Moyes questioned the true age of his striker Yakubu Ayegbeni and of Nigerian players in general.

"He's only 25, albeit a Nigerian 25, and so if that is his age he's still got a good few years ahead of him," Moyes told the Guardian newspaper.

NFA spokesman Ademola Olajire says the comments have embarrassed the country.

"His statement is insulting to the Nigerian nation and unbecoming of a Premier League manager," Olajire told BBC Sport.

"We don't take kindly to snide remarks about our players, or our nation and we have sent a strongly-worded complaint to the English FA.

"Seriously, we will go at any length to ensure he is brought to book to explain his comments."

Moyes was speaking after Everton's Uefa Cup win over SK Brann on Thursday.

He was praising Yakubu, who scored a hat-trick.

Spur's Fan Gatecrashes Team Photo

After all the news surrounding Eduardo's snapped banjo it has gone un-noticed amongst many people the hilarious incident after Sunday's Cup Final where a Spurs fan managed to gatecrash the celebrations after the extra time win for Ramos' side.

It is not quite sure how the man managed to escape the clutches of security but fair play to the Spurs team for helping to join in the fun by spraying him from head to toe in champagne. Here he is below enjoying his 15 minutes of fame


The image brought back memories of when Karl Power, a Manchester United fan, managed to sneak into the team photo for a Manchester United Champions League Game. The same man also managed to merk the England cricket team by posing as one of their players when a new batsman was called in, though to be fair if he had actually made it all the way there is no chance that he could have done any worse than any of their actual players.




To add to this, there are vicious rumours circulating that an a miserable Israeli man with a face like a slapped arse has managed to convince the public and Roman Abramovich that he is the manager of Chelski football club. However, apparently this has been denied vehemently by Peter Kenyon who say that everything is completely under control. Kenyon also confirmed that Ashley Cole is currently having the time of his life and that he couldn't be feeling better at the moment

Sunil

WTF!!!, moment of the weekend....

There are moment in football that just make you chuckle sometimes, I have never really hidden my disgust for all things Real Madrid, so this incident on the weekend against Getafe has bought a wry smile to my face. The perennially injured Robben thought he had scored, but sadly it was disallowed for some odd reason, Getafe then duly played on and scored the winner leaving everyone totally bemused. Absolutely brilliant, the gap is only 2 points now. Come on Barca.

**Tw*t Watch**

I think we are all aware of how stupid Stephen ireland is, he is famed for pretending his grandmother had died to get out of an international game and posting on an internet website under a stupid username expressing his hatred for the beautiful game. Can we forget his strip show celebration or his simply ridiculous hair transformation. But now he has taken his insanity a step too far, with his purchase of a 90 grand range rover with pink trim. Enjoy some pictures of Ireland in all his twattish glory.

De- Motivational posters of the weekend....

Tottenham players get a bit too excited....

Well, only a few hours after completing the biggest triumph fro Tottenham football club in years, some of the lads decided to take a trip to Faces nightclub, where Ledley got a bit too hammered, to hilarious effect, just look at the pictures below. What the hell will Juande be thinking? Unfortunately no stories of any roasting have appeared yet, but give it time and im sure something will turn up. Danni Lloyd was there so surely something must have gone down, possibly her.

Premiership Ups and Downs

Going Up

Man Utd

They can smell blood, only 3 points behind the leaders now, and bare in mind that before the game against the shambolic Newcastle they could have potentially been 8 points behind. With Rooney and Ronaldo in scintillating form it will be difficult for any man to back against them, the strength they have in depth at the moment is kinda scary, and even the man of glass got a goal, things must be looking up. The sight of Gallas having a strop will simply just add more fuel to the Man Utd title charge. Well done William.

Spurs, Woodgate and King

Its been a long 9 year wait for Tottenham fans, but now they can celebrate a “major” trophy, the sight of spurs players crying may lead many to chuckle, but fair play to spurs for turning around a simply atrocious season. They are no assured of a European place which was probably a distant thought a few months ago. Woodgate and King are 2 simply superb defenders, its just a shame that they spend more time on the treatment table than they do on the pitch. I genuinely think that next season with Ramos at the helm and some decent mid fielders apart from the awful Zokora then spurs will have a chance at a top 4 finish.

Liverpool and Torres

After all the pre season discussion about Torres and whether he could hack the premiership, its quite clear now that all the doubters were clearly wrong. After Torres hattrick at the weekend, he now has 15 goals in the league and 21 in all competitions, that is a wonderful return for a debut season, its just a shame the rest of the team are simply not good enough at the moment. Liverpool were very fortunate to collect the 3 points but regardless of how bad Liverpool have performed this season, they are still favourites for that last champions league spot, and we all know what Rafa can do in the champions league, he is simply the master of the big occasion. Could this season actually be turned around? maybe.

Theo Walcott

Although his 2 goals were overshadowed by all the events against Birmingham, he took his chances well. They were his only 2 goals in the premier league this season, which isn't a great return. Fortunately for Theo he wont have to endure another hype fest because I don’t think anyone actually noticed or cared that he had scored by the end of the game.

Roy Keane

His comment about the Sunderland players being overawed by the “superstars” at Portsmouth and hunting them down for autographs was simply hilarious, it wasn’t like they were playing Man Utd or Chelsea was it.

Going Down

Arsenal football Club

Edurado's injury was an absolute shocker and we all hope that he recovers as soon as possible, I don’t think there was intent or malice in the challenge and it was clearly an unfortunate accident. I was actually wondering if Eduardo was killed serving in Afghanistan, the outpouring of grief has been over the top, will there be a minutes silence in the next match? did anyone see those guys holding up an Eduardo shirt at the end of the match? Lets get some perspective here please.

But it was the reaction of Arsene Wenger which was was simply disgraceful, calling for a player to get a life ban because of a bad tackle is simply ludicrous, look at this tackle by henry below, clearly a more intentful tackle than Taylor's but luckily he didn’t break any legs, but should he be banned for life for it?

I bet Wenger probably didn’t see it. His myopic views and hypocrisy show no bounds, how many times has condemned the petulant and human annoyance that is Eboue? Was it ok for Gallas to kick Nani off the ball? Does he condone infighting from his young stars? Can a man complain when he has created the biggest bunch of diving cheats the premier league has seen? I could list them all for you but I wont, because I think we are all aware of who they may be. Arsenal had all of the play and were unlucky to drop points, but in reality the game should have been wrapped up well before the injury time penalty. Why didn’t Adebayor pass to Bendtner, when he was clearly open? I think we all know why. Wenger needs to take a long look at himself and keep his mouth shut from now on, but i don't think he will.

EDIT

The amazing and intelligent arsenal fans have also started a petition to get Taylor banned for life, words really do fail me.

http://www.petitiononline.com/mataylor/petition.html

Gallas

The man needs a separate paragraph for his totally hilarious tantrum, what the hell was he thinking? Fair enough you are upset and want to cry, but why not save it for the dressing room? Don’t you realise that Ferguson and co will be watching? It will only give them more confidence seeing their rivals look like they are crumbling. Quite possibly the worst excuse of captaincy I have seen in my lifetime. Grow some balls or change your nappy.

Avram Grant

Clearly a big match bottler, his team selection look inventive at first, but was ultimately just plain wrong. Why put Lampard in, when Ballack was playing so well? Why put Anelka on the wing where he is clearly ineffective? He was totally outfought and out thought by Ramos.

Juande Ramos

Im sorry but his English was just plain poor, does anyone else know what he was saying apart from being velly velly happy?

Newcastle

They are now in serious danger of going down, they are the laughing stock of the premiership. I predicted that bringing King Kev back with this awful squad was a total recipe for disaster, and i'm sure there are a lot of us who would love to see them relegated as a punishment for their stupidity. Any team that concedes 11 goals in 2 games to any other side in the premiership needs to take a serious look at themselves, I doubt even Derby have suffered like that this season.

Michael Owen

No he is not back, he is finished, he is shite, and im not buying the “he doesn’t get the service” excuse, no point getting service if you simply cannot run anymore. Awful, even more hilarious because we all saw what happened when he arrived, it was like a cup parade, there were screams of champions league football and top 4 positions. hopefully now the Newcastle fans will finally shut up, although i doubt it, so expect another outpouring of delusion when they sign another over the hill overrated ex superstar.

Carton Cole

Some of the worst finishing I have seen from a striker in the modern era, well dome son.

Dean Ashton

If Carlton Cole is keeping you out of the team, then you have some real problems, what the hell happened to England's great big hope? Now hes just big.

Champions League Questions....

Why couldnt Rafa motivate his team for Barnsley as well as he did for Inter?

Is C. Ronaldo the biggest of all the big game bottlers or can he blame the lasers?

Why was Arsenal's most loyal player kissing the Barcelona badge?

And why did he give the silencer after he scored his goal?

Will Adebeyor rue the day he missed the easiest header of all time?

Is Eduardo still the best finisher in the world?

Why have Man Utd got so much undeserved luck in world football?

Has anyone else noticed that Tevez looks like the incredible hulk, Juninho looks like Adam Goldberg from Entourage and Materazzi looks like John Turtorro?



Is Aiden McGeady actually that good or just another overhyped youngster?

Is Pato actually the second coming of Christ or just another overhyped teenager?

Is Benzema basically now a Man Utd player?

Is there a worse away destination than Turkey?

Did Avram completely bottle his team selection, and maybe thats why he got death threats?

Who wants to kill Avram? Mourinho?

Are Liverpool and Milan Devaluing football by concentrating on the Champions League?

Will we actually see an all English final or will Arsenal, Chelsea and Man Utd bottle it again?

Is Messi now the best player in the world?

Can Kuyt now be forgiven for all his awfulness throughout the season?

When will Rooney learn to finish chances? He's messing up my dream team.

Why was Shevchenko hitching a ride in the Milan team bus?

Did anyone else think Shevchenko was dead?

Will Rafa winning the CL save his job or just paper over the cracks?

Can you find me a more detestable human being than Eboue?

Answers on a postcard...

FA Cup Ups & Downs...

Well after nearly losing faith in football this weekend's action has helped bring me back from the doldrums. Here are the latest ups and downs....

Going Up


Barnsley

Although Liverpool are a shambles at the moment you can't deny the achievement of coming from behind at Anfield to knock out Premiership opposition. After being denied a stone wall penalty in front of the Kop, Brian Howard promptly got off his backside, bundled his way past Alonso and slotted home to send the Barnsley fans into raptures. I am pretty sure that there were fans crying in the ground and who can blame them. Alonso was clearly brewing at the final whistle as Howard had to bully him into swapping shirts as the Spaniard realised that it was the guy who merked him who wanted his jersey. It was also a journalist's dream as the inevitable "Howard's Way" and "Howard's End" headines surfaced.

There was a touch of fate about it as Barnsley fielded an online goalie making his debut who had the game of his life to keep the score to 1-0 and 1-1 respectively.

Showboating

People can say what the fuck they like but I personally thought that Nani's showboating was brilliant against Arsenal. In a game which recently has shown signs of going down the pan, moments of talent and skill should be savoured and not revered. As they say, if you can't stand the heat then get out of the kitchen and Arsenal's reaction to the Portugese player's antics was pretty scandalous. Perhaps if they had put as much effort into the game itself then they may have actually got something out of it. More of the same please.

Hasselbaink

The fat Eddie Murphy may be carrying more girth these days but his superb dummy carved open the Wolves defence to rip home a scorcher from the edge of the area

West Brom

Goals galore from the Championship side as they romped home at the Ricoh. A favourable draw has left them strong favourites to visit Wembley for the 2nd time in a year. Let's see if they can live up to the hype eh?

Set pieces

Hilarious play from Sheffield United which shows that players actually do something in training. Unfortunately for Beattie, he was only able to hit the post.

Fat Frank

Despite his tally including about 99 deflections, you can't deny that scoring 100 goals for Chelski is some achievement.

Going Down

Liverpool and Rafa Benitez

There are a few laughing stocks in football at the moment, the main suspects being Ashley Cole, Newcastle and Garth Crooks punditry. However, these are generally temporary headline makers. One team which likes being laughed at every week is Liverpool. Whether it be Rafa's bizarre new conferences, the fact that Rafa wants DIC or the Hicks Gillete combo. I think that the only time they havent been laughed at is when they spanked the might Derby at Anfield (seems a long time ago now doesnt it?)

Perhaps Liverpool thought they had turned the corner after Kuyt toe poked home his first goal in a million years but it wasn't to be. Rafa's removal of Babel (their most effective player) proved another bizarre decision, especially as the game was not over and they ultmately paid the price. To be fair, there was some incredible last ditch defending from the Tykes but that is still no excuse. The absence of Torres from the bench was also costly.

People may say that they have a big game against Inter in the week but IMO Rafa made a major boo boo by not playing his strongest side. This FA CUP is wide open and would be a more realistic opportunity to win a trophy but Rafa's obsession with the Champions League has left him red faced. Even if they win the Champs League I think he is a goner and his decision not to replace his departed assistant has left him fighting a solo battle against the critics.

Thankfully Rafa has realised the problems and has told his players "we created chances, now lets focus on the next game". Inspiring words indeed from the fat Spaniard.

Arsenal

Utter shambles from the Gooners as they were outclassed, out fought and outplayed. After getting owned by Berbatov the other week, it was Rooney's turn to screw on William Gallas as his all action display may have him worried for the upcoming friendly.

Eboue was back to his worst with a shocking tackle on Evra and Adebayor also made a twat of himself after a ridiculous dive to try and win a penalty. Traore and Hoyte got a roasting off Nani and Wenger has perhaps learned that his second string XI are not as good as he thought.

Sunil

I just want to add a few things to the going down section, I think Phil Thompson should be there for his reaction on Soccer Saturday after Barnsley scored, absolutely priceless.

Here is the video of Le' Tiss going mental and Tommo having a mare. Just how awesome is Jeff Stelling? The hype in this video is just ridiculous.

Also the so called best midfielder in the premiership Fabregas who was totally invisible against Man Utd and hasn't been at the races for a long time now, I have said it before and ill say it again, I think he is a half season player. Have a few gifs for added ownage, all in all I think you will say Arsenal were a disgrace.

Also why does Fletcher only play well against the big teams and how good can Anderson really turn out to be?

There's Only One Ronaldo....

Everyone had a player that truly drew them towards football, someone who was so magical and exciting that you truly thought you were experiencing something sexual in a footballing context. I know that sounds slightly dramatic but for me and for many other people around the world that man was Ronaldo Luis Nazário de Lima also known as El Fenómeno. I warn you this article is a somewhat homoerotic tribute to a player that I consider the most talented of all time.

Back in my days there was no Youtube or video downloading like we have in abundance now, so you had to absorb the hype from what you read in the newspapers and any games you could catch on TV, if you were lucky enough to have Sky. I remember first seeing Ronaldo at the 1994 world cup when he was 17 year old, quietly sitting on the bench with no one knowing who he was, but at that time it was simply impossible for a teenager to outshine the genius of Romario and Bebeto. The commentator said Brazil had a wonderkid, a player who could potentially rival the likes of Pele and Maradonna as the greatest talent the game has ever seen, what a way to put some early pressure on a youngster.

Fast forward 2 years, and I was watching the Olympics in 1996 and I watched an absolutely sublime 19 year old simply destroy the opposition, scoring every type of goal imaginable, the young Brazilians eventually fell to a superb Nigerian team led by Kanu and Okocha(god knows how old they really were back then, 30?), but Ronaldo stood out as a player with more potential then any other player I had seen in my lifetime, something similar to when you watched the first Harry Potter movie and saw a young Emma Watson, you knew that a few years down the line she would develop into something we can all lust over. Is that wrong? Maybe, but i don't really care.

At PSV, Ronaldo scored 55 goals in 57 appearances but it was at Barcelona where Ronaldo was at his best, scoring and incredible 47 goals in 49 games and is the last person to score over 30 goals in La Liga, you don't get stats much better than that, unless you're measuring Halle Berry from top to bottom. Ronaldo was only at Barca for one season but in that season we witnessed the greatest exhibition of footballing talent you will probably ever see, and what makes it even more remarkable was the fact at that he was 20 years old. I sometimes chuckle when I see commentators wanking over a lucky Cristiano freekick, Wayne Rooney's excessive aggression or a Messi slalom run, yes they are all great talents but if you want the blueprint of the ultimate wonderkid rewind back to 90s and look at what Ronaldo was doing, he was producing magic that even the worlds greatest players of that time could only dream of.

One of Ronaldo’s lowest moments was in the 1998 world cup final, but you tell me what would happen if a 21 year old player with more hype than a J.lo Sex tape, had an epileptic fit before the biggest match of his life, it doesn't matter how good you are or how big your balls are, you are destined to fail. Ronaldo then moved onto Inter scoring 49 in 69 league goals, and his performance in the UEFA cup final against Lazio was so good that Mancini had to warn him that anymore showboating would lead to a broken leg, to which he adhered to and then ran trough on goal and calmly rounded the goalkeeper in the coolest fashion you can imagine. Just check out the video below.

Who knows what heights Ronaldo could have reached if he didn't suffer those 2 knee injuries whilst at inter, maybe he would be considered the greatest player of all time. Many people blame muscle building drugs for his knee problems, but we will probably never know the whole truth. After more than 2 years out of the game, Ronaldo proved why he is simply a big game player by returning at the 2002 world cup and scoring 8 goals and most notably 2 in the final, and then he moved into Real Madrid scoring over a 100 goals for them, and most notably a superb hattrick at Old Trafford in the champions league.

Its kinda sad that football has changed so much that many people are not aware of this man's talents and what he has done for football, you search for Ronaldo in Google and it asks if you were talking about Cristiano. Ronaldo's weight problems will mean the youngsters and misinformed will never know what kind of player he was, watching him at the 2006 world cup was kinda embarrassing, but even a Fat Ronaldo is better than most, and he still scored 3 goals to become the world cup greatest ever goalscorer, not even i could begrudge him this after his stepover snatched the record against my beloved Ghana. Many people will cite Zidane as the best player of this generation, but for me Ronaldo was a different animal, the only player in our lifetime who was truly unplayable, the man who along with Garrincha invented all the tricks that we see the likes of Ronaldinho and Robinho doing week in week out, and the only player who truly had every attribute that a footballer should have, incredible speed, power, pace, skill and vision, if a machine could make the perfect footballer Ronaldo would come out. Ronaldo is your favourite striker's favourite striker and even Batistuta said that Ronaldo is football. Lets hope we get to see this man on the biggest stage again, if not then thanks for the memories. It's all good, we have Youtube to remember you by.