Things I Miss About Football..

It seems that a lot of people are not talking about football these days.  Whether it be racism, gayism (ok not sure if that's an actual word) or other outrageous incidents not even related to the beautiful game.  Here are a few things which I think should be brought back/or removed to help bring the English game back to the glory days of the 90s.

1) The Pink Paper - This is one for people who are over the age of 25 mainly and what used to be the highlight of my Saturday night.  Before the advent of the internet and Sky TV the quickest way to get the match report (apart from CEEFAX) was this evening paper which would publish your local teams report almost 2 hours after full time.  Incroyable!  The paper would also provide a fixture list and the results so far as well as the tables at the end of the day.  All for about 30p. What more could you want? You can shove BBC live text commentary up your a*se!

2) Confetti - I may be wrong on this one but in my experience not many  English fans still tear up bits of paper at the top of the stand and chuck them into the air as the players emerge from the kick off.  A wonderful opening match ritual

3) Scrap hand shakes for good - Before players would emerge from the tunnel and charge towards their half of the pitch before the obligatory chants from the crowd to get the game going.  Now thanks to the powers that be we have to watch the players all massaging each others hands in what is quite simply a pointless exercise.  Why have player handshakes when a they might be elbowing, stamping or racially abusing each other later on? Answers on a postcard please

4) Keep injury time a secret - Before recent times we never knew how much injury time there was at a game heading into the final minutes.  Why did I prefer this you may ask?  Anyone who experienced hanging on 1 minute from the end to a single goal lead would simply be sh*tting themselves at this point as they had no idea how long was left. Thousands of people would be whistling/screaming for the ref to blow up creating an almighty crescendo. This made the feeling when the whistle went even more glorious.  Now you can simply sit in comfort thinking "only one minute to go...". BORING

5) Teams just going all out to win  - This is an obvious one but the cost of losing is so great financially that teams now just daren't go all out to win and instead many are force to try not to lose.  In the old days, everyone just used to go for it, even if it meant taking a pasting.

Can anyone else think of anything that they really miss about football....?

Sunil

Bonkers Barton Has Crossed The Line

Did you know that the name Joey Barton is an anagram of the word "Wanker"?  I know, it took me a while to figure it out as well.  Anyway, I think its fair to say that I have long considered that this odius character should have been banished from the footballing world and his latest actions have done nothing to alter my opinion.

The moustached midfielder has recently come out using his Twitter account (or should that be Tw@tter?) to lay into recently sacked Neil Warnock.  Firstly, I would like to re-iterate that I don't really like Warnock either, mainly because of his undoubted role in the Battle of Brammall Lane. (link here for those are are unaware of this).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZDsjY3uFdE

Another interesting fact for you is that Colin Wanker is an anagram of Neil Warnock, hence people who disliking him being affectionately calling him "Colin"

Anyway, enough of this idotic wordplay (this isn't Countdown after all) and back down to my latest rant which is that Joey Barton has completely overstepped the line and I have massive sympathy with my old pal Colin for a change.

Having watched footballers over years, I have noticed that there appears to be a sort of unspoken rule in football that a manager will never pick on one player in public. This happens 99.9% of the time in football , lets be honest.  Whether the manager then gives the player a bollocking behind closed doors is another matter, but they almost always support their public no matter how blatant the offence is.

This is why over the years we have had to put up with Wenger proclaiming he "didn't see it", Fergie blaming everyone from the groundsman to the referee and the likes of Dalglish supporting a player even when he commits a criminal offence in front of thousands.  The one thing these managers will never be seen to be doing is lambasting their player in public. This is something which has always been kept "in house." Managers almost definitely never air their dirty laundry in public.

With regards to Barton, he was picked up in the summer by Warnock when pretty much no one else would touch him with a barge pole and has been well supported by his manager ever since. For those who don't remember, Barton  is a convicted criminal and generally an all round bad egg. 

A prime example of  Warnock's support was a couple of weeks ago when Barton received a dubious red card and was backed by his manager to the hilt.

Which makes it more staggering to hear Barton's response to the Warnock's sacking .  Whilst his comments were not direct its pretty obvious that he was just basically slagging off Neil Warnock's managerial prowess and then had the irony to tell him to "look in the mirror".  Ha!  That's a bit like Jordan criticising Jodie Marsh for not wearing enough clothes!

There was absolutely no need for Barton to launch into this tirade and even if he did not rate Warnock's managment style the least he could have done was keep scthum to show some respect for the fact that Warnock both signed and has always backed him.

Neil Warnock has taken QPR from the Championship to the Premier League and had them outside the relegation zone when he was fired.  In the meantime, what has Barton contributed to football in in its entireity, let alone at QPR? Apart from give utterly useless opinions on Twitter, average performances week after week and generally just annoying all those around him?

Meanwhile, Warnock has shown a bit of grace and stated that he wont be getting involved in any arguments or discussions over this issue despite the fact he probably thinks deep down that Barton is a complete and utter C*nt ,which I think will leave everyone in no doubt as to who the real villain in this piece really is.

Sunil

Things Currently Annoying Me In Football....

Its been a while since I have posted anything remotely interesting so here is brief summary with all things that are annoying me in football these days

Roberto Mancini 

I have a lot of respect for Roberto for the following reasons;

1)  He was a brilliant striker
2)  He brought madcap Mario Balotelli to England
3)  No matter what the weather or situation he looks so suave in that scarf and coat you just cant help but admire his style (in a non homosexual way : but if you look at him that way thats no problem)

However, his recent whinge that he would struggle to fill his subs bench for the Man Utd game was simply laughable.  The guy has spent over £350m on his squad for crying out loud. He even has the luxury of signing players like Owen Hargreaves even though he has no intention of playing him.  What does he want us to do, have a quick whip round the office to help him out?  Simply ridiculous

Add to this his criticism of Wayne Rooney's card waving and it seems like Mancini is slightly losing the plot. Cast your mind back to the Man City Vs Liverpool game Roberto. Pot, kettle and black (or should that be N*grita?)

Here is a link to Mancini's moan about his squad depth

http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/news/Manchester-City-may-be-unable-fill-subs-bench-against-Manchester-United-as-so-many-players-are-out-article849586.html

One Footed Players

I am pretty sure that everyone will agree that football players are overpaid in a massive fashion.  However, one thing that infuriates me is that approximately 99% of players are incredibly rubbish on their other foot.  I mean, these guys have all week to train and none of them can be bothered to put in the extra 10% to practice with their crap leg.  I get fed up of seeing the likes of Stewart Downing or even my beloved Chris Brunt running halfway across the pitch because they cannot shift the ball sideways with their other foot or make a 5 yard pass with their right foot.  Here's some advice. Get practicising on the other foot and you may start becoming a better player!  Perhaps Downing might actually hit the target on the pitch rather than in real life (muhahaha-not condoning any sort of physical assault whatsoever)

The Return of Old Players

First it was Thierry, then it was Scholesy? When will the madness of these managers stop?  Are they going to bring back Eric Cantona and Tony Adams next? How about Steve Ogrizovic?  Henry recently had a statue built of him at Highbury and that will probably be just as mobile as Mr Henry's own performances in the next few weeks.  Farcical

Ray Wilkins

I will personally pay for a taxi for this man to the QPR job if it means getting him off my TV Screen.  MY WORD!

Commentators blaming Johnny Foreigner

Why oh why when we see a player diving or waving an imaginary card is it immediately stated that "people didn't do that in England before foreigners came over."  This lazy commentary has been bleated for years.  If people actually watched football in the 1970s and players such as Francis Lee, then people would realise that sort of behaviour has been going on long before the arrival of Johnny Foreigner.  Let's just accept that all players do it.  Do some You-Tubing of Joe Cole , Steven Gerrard and various other English folks to get the picture.

Sunil

Lazy Punditry Just Needs to Stop...

After another Christmas of not doing especially a fat lot, I decided to take my usual place on the sofa and tune into a Boxing Day feast of football which comprised of the usual dose of Soccer Saturday followed by Match of the Day.

Whilst this for me is pretty much a perfect Saturday and nothing can quite beat the sound of Chris Kamara shouting "Unbelievable Jeff" or Paul Merson screeching "He's hit the Beans on Toast!!", one thing which has persistently frustrated an annoyed me about these programs is the ridiculous amount of bias that the pundits and presenters show towards the "Bigger Teams" and also the "London Teams" in particular.  In my view, the punditry at times is incredibly "lazy".

By lazy, I mean the fact that for example , in the pre-match chit chat for Soccer Saturday which is a whopping 3 hours, the ex-professionals' debate on the games is incredibly lop sided in terms of how much time they assign to each team.  For example, a Man Utd vs WBA game will be treated to say 20 mins of chit chat with 18 mins dedicated to Man Utd with discussions of Wayne Rooney's hair cut to Gigg's antics and then a mere aside saying that WBA will be hopeful of a point or such like.  Is this really fair?  Where is the detail and analyis of the other team involved in the equation?  And don't even get me started on their insistence of calling the  big teams players names by their first name or even their nickname.  I even heard Kamara refer to Gerrard as "Stevie G"  on Saturday afternoon. Unbelievable(!)

Are these pundits too lazy to actually do any research into every team in the Premiership?  Or are they only bothered about the old pals act they have going on with their former clubs?  These guys have the whole week to study games and facts and yet it appears only Monsieur Stelling takes anything in and he really is an exception to the rule.

An example of this sheer arrogance and know it all behaviour of this was on Saturday's MOTD after the Wigan Vs Man Utd game.  With the game fairly well poised Connor Sammon received a harsh red card and then the game was pretty much a non event.  After the game, Lawro said that the result was unlikely to have changed despite the sending off which was probably a fair comment.  However, he then added to this by saying that Wigan were never likely to win because they had lost every game in the Premiership to Man Utd prior to that. I am not a Wigan fan but if that comment had been made about my team I would have been fuming!  Is the guy a bookie or a pundit? I am all for opinions but assuming Wigan would lose just because of previous games was a ridiculous thing to say. This was a team which had taken good points of Chelski and Liverpool in recent games. Prior to yesterday, WBA had lost every boxing day in the Premiership.  Did that mean that because of that Lawro expected the Baggies to forfeit the game and hand the 3 points to City?  Because it's just as well we didn't isn't it?

These clowns will also spend 5 hours spunking themselves silly over a decent goal from say a Rooney or a RVP yet almost completely dismissing a perhaps even better goal from a player who is from a smaller or lesser known team (for example, see Morrison for WBA vs Blackburn on Youtube..how many of you were aware of that goal?)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpVRHXMP2Ak

It cannot be denied that Sky can be just as bad, and you can almost guarantee that a a 4-4 draw between Bolton and Norwich would not be Game of the Day if Tottenham managed to beat Blackburn 3-1 in a fairly drab game.

This nonsense has been going on for many years now, with every time a top 4 team fails to win , it too often being blamed an "off day" without any credit given to the opposition. I would expect this sort of behaviour off managers and players alike but certainly not the neutrals in the studio who are receiving a large wedge of our license fee money to pay for their too often useless opinions.

Sunil

LFC are the biggest losers...not Suarez

Liverpool FC. A team often associated with great past glories, one of the best match day atmospheres and some of the finest players to have ever graced the British game. However, their actions in response to the suspension handed to Luis Suarez have in my opinion been nothing short of extraordinary.

I am sure you have all had your chance to digest the days events and to sum up my feelings regarding the ban, I consider that it was a fair punishment, all things considered. Whether or not Luis Suarez is actually a racist is a completely different matter but his decision to use words which could cause offence based on colour/ethnicity was deserving of such a punishment in my view.

The main reason that I am blogging is that I cannot believe the reaction of LFC and more pertinently, the statement they released on their website. Was this statement put together by Gustavo Poyet? Or a 15 year old? Or both?

The statement states that Suarez cannot be a racist because of his background and his actions in the past in helping ethnic minorities in the community. Firstly, the FA did not call Suarez racist, they actually just said that he used inappropriate wording about colour. That aside, suggesting that someone cannot be racist simply because he is of a mixed origin is nothing short of farcical. I, for example, am of Indian descent. But if I walked into the office and addressed a black colleague by saying "What's up N***er!" would I really be able to hide behind my ancestry to suggest that this sort of wording was acceptable? Of course I wouldn't. The logic shown by LFC in this instance is utterly ridiculous.

Furthermore, LFC have stated that the case was based on only Evra's word? Did LFC actually realised that Suarez himself said that he had a used a word towards Evra which he said that his own players also used towards him. So it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realise that something was definitely said by the Uruguyan.

Then to make things worse, they then make reference to Evra's previous "racist incidents", using it as a stick to beat him with. Talk about classless.  (I have noted that it has been indicated that Evra made a comment about Suarez's South American roots but this article is not commenting on that, more the reaction from LFC).

Of course the club intend to appeal the ban which they believe was too harsh. Now whilst comparing other situations across other professions can be difficult, a while back a certain Rodney Marsh made a certain comment about the Tsunami and was subsequently sacked immediately.  I am not suggesting that Suarez should be sacked but to suggest that the ban was unfair or out of proportion is difficult to agree on.

I am quite simply shocked that LFC have refused to condemn any of Suarez's actions in this whole episode. The very fact that he used a word which reference Evra's colour is a pretty damning indictment on his part, whether it was meant to cause racial offence or not. If a Chinese guy pissed me off I would just call him a rude word perhaps but if I was to call him a little ch*nk then I could hardly blame anyone for concluding that I was being racially offensive. Suarez has only himself to blame in my opinion but the embarassment caused by LFC's response means that he has not come out of this debacle with the least amount of respect out of all parties involved. That dubious accolade belongs to Liverpool Football Club.

Sunil


P.S As I have written this article, it has transpired that the team and manager are supporting Suarez by wearing T-shirts in the warm up with his face on the front.  Absolutely unbelievable!

No Sympathy for Steve Kean...

If there is one thing we love in football, its a villain. Someone to hurl abuse at in such a fashion that it would not be out of fashion at a Pantomime at the Hippodrome in Birmingham. However, in pantomime we all know that anyone booing or hissing is merely in jest and by the end of the evening the actors and actresses all are smiling away as they accept the standing ovation which their performance (just about) deserves.

However, the world of football is not as forgiving as your punters down the local theatre. The abuse which was handed to Steve Kean at the end of the West Brom game was pretty vile but lets be honest, after the last minute goal by Peter Odemwingie, it was handed to him by about 10 people, as the vast majority of fans were already streaming towards the exit gates.

I have been a football fan for around 20 years and I am going to be honest and say that I have handed out my fair share of stick to both players and managers alike, but never to the level that Mr Kean is currently receiving. In fact, my approach has softened slightly over recent years as I have come to the opinion that just because all the professionals earn more than me, it does not necessarily merit me to be able to spew words of a vicious nature to the men.

Which would perhaps lead me to suggest that I have some sympathy for Mr Kean's current predicament. But the truth is, I don't. My sympathy completely lies with the Blackburn fans.

When Fat Sam was booted out by the Indians a year ago, there was definitely a dodgy whiff in the air (no curry jokes please). That these newcomers would get rid of an established (if perhaps disliked) manager and replace him with a man with no Premiership managerial experience seemed a little odd to say the least and at best, it was completely irresponsible. In fact, I was of the opinion that perhaps Kean had walked in on the Venkys having a threesome with one of their chickens and was going to use evidence this as blackmail. That seemed a the only logical experience at the time.

Fast forward a year later, and Kean's results in the Premiership have been nothing short of atrocious. A quite simply awful 7 wins from 37 games , 2 of which were against my beloved Baggies (how embarrassing). In fact, Blackburn's survival last year was mainly based on the ineptitude of the teams around them to put a run of results together, rather than the Rovers being able to put together any decent results themselves.

In terms of taking the job, no one could really blame Kean. Almost all football professionals in his job would have done the same thing. And lets be honest, the guy talks a good game. He keeps insisting his team will turn the corner, were unlucky, got shafted by the ref or will call upon their "team spirit" to dig them out the hole they are in. How about this Steve, why don't you get them actually playing football together and doing the basics right? That is what your job is to organise! He was rather smartly been observed as football's equivalent of Comical Ali. "Everything is under control....there are no enemies here.!!". Ho hum

Even as a non Blackburn fan this can be hard to take sometimes, and God knows what it must be like for the Rovers fans to put up with. His appearances in public remind me of a recent programme which chronicled the collapse of RBS bank. For those with a only a passing interest, I will educate you if I may.

Around 6 months before the collapse, the board of members and its head, Fred "The Shred" Goodwin held a meeting with shareholders. By this time, everyone in the country knew that the bank was pretty much f*cked. However, the members refused to acknowledge this and instead of resigning, decided to declare that they were "fighters" and would help the bank out the mess. They even denied that the bank was in any sort of trouble. This was complete nonsense of course. They merely did not want to resign in the hope that they would not lose out financially which I think is what Steve Kean is doing.

It has gotten to the point that his arrogance to remain in the post is actually hurting the club more than if he stays. When it gets to the stage where a man is not willing to fall on his own sword for the benefit of others its hard to maintain any sympathy. Let me cast your mind back a year or so ago when Gordon Strachan resigned and sacrificed any pay off from Middlesborough. I believe in fact, that even our beloved Schteve McLaren did the same when he left Nottingham Forest. At least these Ginger Ninjas have a smidgen of self respect left and will probably pick up work in the future. Unlike Mr Kean who will probably end up working selling Chicken Burgers in a later life. And so, all that's left for me to say is......KEAN OUT! (come on, if everyone else is saying it then why not me?)

Sunil

Things I Miss About Football....

Part 2....Players Celebrating Goals (OTT)

It has been said by many a man that scoring a goal is better than sex. Whether this is actually true I personally am not too sure, but I think that the feeling of scoring a goal is pretty much unparalleled in world sport. And for years, everyone knew that footballers felt this way. In recent years, and I am talking mainly about the 90s, a player smashing the ball into the net would result in the team indulging in a veritable orgy of fist pumping, kissing, and general madness. This would often result in the team then conceding a goal straight from kick off as they wallowed in this moment, before realising that there was still a game going on.

However, it seems to me that players these days seem to be taking things a bit calmer when they score goals, often to the point where I wonder if the players had actually missed the chance rather than having dispatched it in the onion bag. Too often putting the ball into the net has been replaced with players celebrating with a modest handshake, a tap on the shoulder or waving to their mum in the crowd. And the ones that really grate are players that cannot even muster smile. SHAME ON YOU

For me this is unacceptable. Players these days seem to be hammered by the fans for not caring, for doing it for "the money". What better way would there be for players to deal a retort to this by actually celebrating in an over the top manner when they score? I long for the days when players such as Filipo Inzaghi would score a one yard tap in with his backside in a mid-table game and then wheel away to the half way line as he if he had just scored the winner in the World Cup Final. Over the top? Yes. Entertaining? Most certainly

There is an argument that players are more careful because they might get booked by the referee which is a fair point but I get totally pi$$ed off when I see players such as the fake Ronaldo celebrating a goal by strutting or pouting. Even the passionate Wayne Rooney seems to fall into this trap from time to time. The guy slammed in a hat trick against Arsenal this year then celebrated by just hugging a team mate. Some may this was respectful to the Arsenal fans but I could not give a monkeys! I would rather he went to the Arsenal fans on his knees and cupped his ears, perhaps in the style of Adebayor for Manchester City.

Anyway, here are a couple of videos to remind players of how goals should be celebrated. These are a couple of all my time favourites. You try telling these players that scoring isn't the best feeling in the world

Sunil

Things I Miss About Football....

Part 1...Fat Footballers

If I was to ask you to name the fattest footballer currently plying their trade in the Premiership then what would your answer be? A difficult question to answer isn't it. Perhaps Yakubu? And even then he is hardly a Rik Waller lookalike. Fat Frank? Lets be honest here, this is really just a moniker and probably arose because over 10 yards he is slower than most people's grannies, rather then anything to do with his actual physique.

Anyway, the point is that most of the Premiership's footballers are now lean, mean ,footballing machines. Perhaps influenced by the influx of foreign managers,most teams these days have a pretty strict dietary regime with stringent regulations on what they can consume.

I personally find all this rather boring and long for the days when nearly every teams would have a fat footballer within their ranks, and more often than not,the fat playmaker/goal poacher. People who fit into this category include players such as Jan Molby, Mick Quinn, John Barnes, Fat Le Tissier (I mean Matt). One could even argue that the greatest player of all time was perhaps a little bit on the portly side, the special Maradona.

Why do I miss the involvement of these players? Perhaps because a lot of these players were actually pretty talented. The fact that they were so fat and still got regular playing action through their skills alone. Let's take a look at modern footballer, someone like Theo Walcott for an example. A very quick athlete but with all the footballing nouse of a dead pigeon. Then take for example, Matt Le Tissier, a player who could stand around on his fat arse for 89 minutes and then promptly waltz past 5 players and slam one into the top corner. I think I know which one I would rather see

These players are also take me back to a time when they fans believed that the footballers on the same level as they were and were playing for "us". What more could you want then to see Mick Quinn bury a 6 yard finish and then see him down the pub after the game putting away 5 pints of lager? These days the first thing footballers probably do is take sh*t after the game and get Gillian McKeith to inspect it.

Returning to Mick Quinn , the legendary Geordie got paid to put the ball in the back of the onion bag, which he did on a regular basis. It is often said that a good striker will always “finish his dinner”. However, Quinn perhaps took this a bit too literally, as after finishing his dinner, he would then proceed to finish everyone else’s for them.

Midfielders such as Molby and Gazza often had to use their excellent vision and ability to spray a long pass to make up for the fact that if they ran with the ball for more than 20m they would run of out of breath. But did this take away any enjoyment from watching them play? Not a jot in my opinion. In fact, players like this probably had more skill in their little toe then a lot of modern Premiership footballers have in their whole body.

So overall, what I would say is this. A lot of footballers these days appear to be athletes as opposed to footballers. Whereas the beauty really comes when players are the other way round. In other words..... BRING BACK THE FATTIES!!

Sunil

Premiership Ups and Downs.....

Rather later than planned, here are the ups and downs from the Premiership this week

Going Up...

Robin Van Persie

So the glass man has entered the records books at Arsenal with a ton of goals to his name, both of which were sublime finishes. Its a shame that his injury record is so poor or else he would be in a position where he could play for one of the best teams in Europe (muhaha). Also, did anyone notice the rather bizarre commentary on MOTD for his near post finish. Rather than shout out "What a goal", the suspect (might have been Motty) screamed out "Great Refereeing!". Utterly bizarre.

Ramires

This guy might look like an Ethiopian who is constantly scurrying around for his latest meal but after his howler at Old Trafford he managed to redeem himself. His 2 lung busting efforts from midfield mean that the end is surely nigh for Monsieur Lampard

Stoke

Love them or hate them, they get results and they well worthy of a point against United. Nice to see Crouchy causing problems again (and this time, not in relation to his incessant cheating on his girlfriend).

Going Down

Steve Bruce

When Roy Keane left a few years ago, Sunderland and had an overly expensive assembled squad of Man United has beens (Bardsley, Richardson, D.Yorke), falling attendances, no trophies and a pretty turgid style of football. Fast forward 3 years and we are there again with Old Potato Head Steve Bruce (sub W.Brown, O Shea and Gibson for the above). How on earth this guy can be a manager I have no idea. All you hear is excuses, excuses and more excuses. More importantly, this guy seems to be getting bigger by the week in size and I think if he puts any more weight on he could be in danger of popping out of his suit like a deflated balloon. Surely the sack beckons sooner rather than later?

Richard Dunne

Will someone please tell this man that he is meant to put the ball in the OTHER net.

Spectators of WBA Vs Fulham

I went home last weekend to watch this debacle. Possibily one of the worst games I have ever seen (and believe you me, I have seen some shit over the years). WBA were crap and Fulham were not much better. How they managed to get 2 minutes of highlights on MOTD I have no idea. It was bit like walking in and finding your parents having sex. Upsetting, unnecessary and something which should be erased from the memory as soon as possible.

Frank Lampard

Franky better start filming some more "Super!" adverts because I think his football career could now be over. Spurned by both England and and now Chelski, the writing is pretty much on the wall

Sunil

Chicharito? Suck My Golden Balls

I was sitting in my new flat a couple of weeks ago watching the entertaining Benfica Vs Man United game when the name of Javier Hernandez was uttered by the commentator. "That's pretty cool" said my flatmate Micky when an image of the Mexican one came onto the screen. "It's like he's got his rapper's name on the back of his shirt." (Micky is a rapper/MC who goes by the name of Micky Worthless)

I immediately stated my disgust at this, not at what he said, but at the notion that a player could have his nickname emblazoned on his shirt. My response? "I'm sorry but this is just ridiculous, what the hell would have happened if David Beckham had trotted out at Old Trafford with the name Golden Balls adorned on the coveted Red Jersey? Or even worse, 'G.Balls'". Utterly ludicrous I am sure you would agree.

The funny thing is that 'Chicharito' has even more letters than Hernandez anyway (I hope my maths is right) so its hardly saving letters or time to pronounce his name. I was even wracking my brain to think if anyone else had got away witch such a ludicrous request. Why not just open the floodgates? We could have defender Fitz Hall with "One Size" on his back, a little midget could have "SWP". Did Dion Dublin ever have "Donkey D*ck" written on shirt? Where would the madness stop? I mean, should we expect Joey Barton to have the word "C*NT" written on his jersey? Actually, on second thoughts, perhaps this nickname concept isn't such a bad idea after all....