Premiership Ups and Downs.....

Rather later than planned, here are the ups and downs from the Premiership this week

Going Up...

Robin Van Persie

So the glass man has entered the records books at Arsenal with a ton of goals to his name, both of which were sublime finishes. Its a shame that his injury record is so poor or else he would be in a position where he could play for one of the best teams in Europe (muhaha). Also, did anyone notice the rather bizarre commentary on MOTD for his near post finish. Rather than shout out "What a goal", the suspect (might have been Motty) screamed out "Great Refereeing!". Utterly bizarre.

Ramires

This guy might look like an Ethiopian who is constantly scurrying around for his latest meal but after his howler at Old Trafford he managed to redeem himself. His 2 lung busting efforts from midfield mean that the end is surely nigh for Monsieur Lampard

Stoke

Love them or hate them, they get results and they well worthy of a point against United. Nice to see Crouchy causing problems again (and this time, not in relation to his incessant cheating on his girlfriend).

Going Down

Steve Bruce

When Roy Keane left a few years ago, Sunderland and had an overly expensive assembled squad of Man United has beens (Bardsley, Richardson, D.Yorke), falling attendances, no trophies and a pretty turgid style of football. Fast forward 3 years and we are there again with Old Potato Head Steve Bruce (sub W.Brown, O Shea and Gibson for the above). How on earth this guy can be a manager I have no idea. All you hear is excuses, excuses and more excuses. More importantly, this guy seems to be getting bigger by the week in size and I think if he puts any more weight on he could be in danger of popping out of his suit like a deflated balloon. Surely the sack beckons sooner rather than later?

Richard Dunne

Will someone please tell this man that he is meant to put the ball in the OTHER net.

Spectators of WBA Vs Fulham

I went home last weekend to watch this debacle. Possibily one of the worst games I have ever seen (and believe you me, I have seen some shit over the years). WBA were crap and Fulham were not much better. How they managed to get 2 minutes of highlights on MOTD I have no idea. It was bit like walking in and finding your parents having sex. Upsetting, unnecessary and something which should be erased from the memory as soon as possible.

Frank Lampard

Franky better start filming some more "Super!" adverts because I think his football career could now be over. Spurned by both England and and now Chelski, the writing is pretty much on the wall

Sunil

Chicharito? Suck My Golden Balls

I was sitting in my new flat a couple of weeks ago watching the entertaining Benfica Vs Man United game when the name of Javier Hernandez was uttered by the commentator. "That's pretty cool" said my flatmate Micky when an image of the Mexican one came onto the screen. "It's like he's got his rapper's name on the back of his shirt." (Micky is a rapper/MC who goes by the name of Micky Worthless)

I immediately stated my disgust at this, not at what he said, but at the notion that a player could have his nickname emblazoned on his shirt. My response? "I'm sorry but this is just ridiculous, what the hell would have happened if David Beckham had trotted out at Old Trafford with the name Golden Balls adorned on the coveted Red Jersey? Or even worse, 'G.Balls'". Utterly ludicrous I am sure you would agree.

The funny thing is that 'Chicharito' has even more letters than Hernandez anyway (I hope my maths is right) so its hardly saving letters or time to pronounce his name. I was even wracking my brain to think if anyone else had got away witch such a ludicrous request. Why not just open the floodgates? We could have defender Fitz Hall with "One Size" on his back, a little midget could have "SWP". Did Dion Dublin ever have "Donkey D*ck" written on shirt? Where would the madness stop? I mean, should we expect Joey Barton to have the word "C*NT" written on his jersey? Actually, on second thoughts, perhaps this nickname concept isn't such a bad idea after all....

An Apology

An apology for the lack of updates recently...this hasn't been because I couldn't be arsed. I was away on my travels in Thailand and came back to find my computer had died. Not good. I will be back up and running when tonight's match is done and dusted. In the Wo meantime, I will leave you with the above picture which I took when conducting some informal scouting for my local team (ahem). Wowser