So that’s it, Euro 2016 is over. In truth, not too many tears will be
shed as a bit like this blog, the whole tournament was pretty underwhelming,
and only punctuated with brief bits of quality.
As much of the football has been forgotten I will instead write a few
words about my Euro 2016 experience which may have been slightly more
interesting!
I actually landed tickets for what turned out to be the quite a good
game between Croatia Vs Czech Republic in Saint Etienne but thankfully this was
trumped by my friend Rob having snaffled tickets for both the Quarter Final in
Paris and the Semi Final in Marseilles.
A quick glance at my wall chart told me that both of these games were
for the right hand side of the draw. This in essence meant that for me to see
England play in Paris they would have to finish 2nd in their
group. This was clearly never going to
happen as England were expected to top the group in comfortable fashion.
However, England did the inevitable and made a right pig’s ear of
things and finished 2nd behind Wales. A game against Portugal
beckoned only for a last minute Iceland goal in their final game to set up a
tie with England. So as we saw it, the footballing gods had conspired to ensure
that England only had to beat Iceland to mean that I would get to see them in
Paris.
I don’t need to remind anyone what happened in that game. So down to
that diabolical performance I would instead be watching France vs Iceland at
Saint Denis, Paris.
Prior to that though, on Saturday, the day of our arrival, was the
Germany vs Italy game so we headed over to the fan park under the Eiffel Tower
to sink a few beers and take in some of the atmosphere. The game itself was
hardly a classic and with the game heading towards 90 minutes, it was clear
that extra time beckoned.
Now anyone who knows me that well (which is not that many of you) will
know that I have had some possible nearish death experiences such as the Asian
Hillsborough, near Death on Death Road in Bolivia and also the Tsunami scare in
Thailand.
Little did I know that another would be added to the list as a Human
Tsunami all of a sudden appeared out of nowhere and starting charging towards
us, with hundreds of people falling to the ground. I managed to stumble to
safety whilst Rob managed to turn into Usain Bolt and spring it out the park
A quick look around suggested to me it was a false alarm so I wanted to
watch the extra time and penalties. Rob was less certain so I arranged to meet
him again after the game
This didn’t seem to make the news everywhere so to prove I am not fibbing,
here’s footage of what actually happened.
The next day was the France vs Iceland game so we did a bit of walking
around and saw some of the sights. Bizarrely, in the morning, Jermaine Defoe
made a brief appearance to serve us breakfast!
Prior to leaving the hotel, a news article alerted us to the fact that
a suspect package had been detonated outside the stadium, just exactly the news
that we wanted to hear.
The game itself was right at the other end of Paris and the weather
took a turn for the worst as approached the stadium. As expected, security was
tight so had to go through about five security searches before being let in which
was understandable
The stadium was better than I had anticipated, and Rob had landed
absolutely plum seats, right in amongst the French fans. Fantastic atmosphere
and a goal fest to boot with a rampant French side putting aside a plucky
Iceland side 5-2. Queue wild
celebrations in Paris.
The next day I covered a bit more of Paris and caught up with my old
flat mate Ryan for some food in the Latin Quarter. I then managed to
successfully sprint it back to see the Arc de Triomphe in all its glory.
Beautiful
The next day we headed to Marseilles via the train to watch the Germany
vs France semi-final. The apartment we
stayed in was as French as they come, and was being let out of French artist,
who we never actually had to meet thanks to the wonders of Air B and B. The
apartment was in a really nice area called Le Panier, if you think of a
Shoreditch/Camden type area except with less beards and skinny jeans.
A short stroll from the Old Port area I was hoping to catch up on some
Chair Throwing Olympics as seen on the news a couple of weeks earlier but with
few English and Russian fans, things were pretty serene. We did pay a trip to the Queen Victoria pub
as of course we had to.
However, drowning our sorrows over England’s terrible
performance was not particular cheap as the pound had taken a battering after
Brexit. Talking of which, we saw this
place there just to rub my nose in it even more.
Having arrived a little late we didn’t managed to get any food until
after 10pm and the initial restaurant actually was unable to serve us food so
we moved to the next one we could find. As we were tucking in, Rob mentioned
that he had heard a group of lads shout out the name Chris Kamara. I looked over and there was the moustachio’d
legend, cunningly disguised in a trilby
Being the loser that I am, I immediately rushed over for a photo and a
quick chat. “What did you make of England?” I asked him. “Well there where shit
weren’t they” was his retort.
I went back to finish off my meal and it seemed that one of the lads he
was chatting to was from Norway. “ I signed a Norweigan once when I was a
manager” said Kamara, “And he was shit”. Classic Kammy!
The next day we did a bit more sightseeing and ventured up to the local
cathedral to get some great views of the city as you can see below. At night time, we buried a few more beers
with the big game just 24 hours away
The next day we went to see one of the Islands of the Count of Monte
Cristo fame (look it up) and caught some rays. A slight panic ensued when we
returned to find we could not get in the flat but we managed to sort it out to
make sure we picked up the tickets, although we were unsure if we would be able
to get back in after we returned from the game. Boy do I love a bit of drama.
The Velodrome was again quite from us so we decided to get the tube
there. However, poor organisation meant that the tube became quickly
overcrowded and before you know it, I was close to succumbing to another human
tsunami. At least 10 tubes went past
which were so packed that not one person could get on. Rob decided to pull rank
so we gave up and instead walked the rest of the way which turned out to the
right decision as it allowed us to have a couple of beers on the way and soak
up some of the atmosphere.
A ridiculous walk eventually got us inside the stadium and again we had
some great seats and we surrounded by a mixture of both French and German
fans.
The game itself was largely dominated
by the Germans but the game turned when the penalty was awarded in the 45th
minute. I would say that about 99% of the people inside the stadium did not
know why it was given but Griezemann notched and he added another just after
the break to seal the win. I would say that without doubt it was one of the
best atmospheres that I have been involved in (not quite topping WBA vs Palace
though in 2000) and arguably we had seen the biggest game of the tournament. The French squad finished with a nice rendition
of the Volcano Clap
We headed back into town and the streets were really pumping. The walk
was pretty long but we managed to sink a few beers with the locals, although
most of them seem partied out. The German fans had also disappeared pretty
quickly after their defeat but fair play to the majority that stayed out. Of course, there were some English fans as well, here with a rendition of the Kolo/Yaya Toure classic
So that’s it, my Euro 2016 excursion was over. Probably the first and last football and
tournament I will be going to. Qatar and Russia? Do me a favour!
On a personal note, it’s time to hang up my boots with regards to this
blog. It’s been a fun 10 years but it’s now time to consign this to the
footballing cemetery in the sky.
Thanks for reading!
Sunil
(P.S I had to omit some of the details of what actually happened as
this is a family friendly blog!)
So where on earth did that clusterfuck of an England
performance come from?
Roy Hodgson said that he did not really see THAT performance
coming (a bit like a certain referendum result I am sure). But should he really have been surprised
given England’s form in the his tenure and also their previous history in
knockout tournaments?
The Manager
“I am not sure what I am really doing here” derided a rather
fragile Hodgson in the press conference after the game. I think it’s called
accountability Roy….
Anyway, the manager has to take his fair share of blame for
the shambles in this tournament. I actually have a lot of respect for Roy for
the sterling work he did at West Bromwich Albion that he did at the Hawthorns
at his short time there. He saved us from relegation as well as providing us
with the platform to go on and secure mid-table safety.
He also did an admirable job at Fulham in the Premier League
as well as carving out a reasonable if not spectacular career in the European
Leagues. However, he has had notable failures, his main one being an ill-fated
stint at Liverpool.
Did this failure show that when handling top players at a
top level, he simply was not able to reach the required standard? Roy is very
good at getting a group of semi-decent players organised into a certain way of
playing and being hard to beat. However, when handling a bunch of players with
slightly better ability and with egos bigger than their pay packets does he
have the ability and skill to get the best out of these players on the big
level? Does he quite simply have a
ceiling on the level he can manage at?
He successfully navigated an easy group but the performances
in both tournaments have been telling (I won’t include Euro 2012 as he was
thrown in at the deep end)
In his time at the helm had he forged a certain way of
playing so that the team understand where and how to function? Looking at a side like Germany and Italy it
seems that whichever players they have, the players seem to know what to do. This
is meant to be the worst Italian side in history yet each player seems to know
their exact role in the team.
Hodgson tinkered with his team before the tournament
(remember the shambolic diamond experiment against Portugal) and even during
the group games did not know his best team.
How can that really be possible. Minor tweaks I can understand but I don’t
think he even knew his best 15, let alone first 11.
This must be one of the reasons for the players against
Iceland having no idea, no game plan and looking like a bunch of Sunday league
part timers.
Picking out of form
players
The age old problem of picking names over players in form
reared its ugly head. Danny Drinkwater was outstanding for Leicester but could
not get in ahead of sicknote Jack Wilshere. Andros Townsend, who has shown his
class for England before and finished strongly for Newcastle could not get in
ahead of Sterling, a man whose confidence levels have dipped more strongly than
his currency levels this week. Why the
f*ck do managers keep doing this?
Rooney
Rooney had a shocker against Iceland but I personally don’t
blame him, I blame the manager. Rooney had to either start as a main striker or
not at all. Rooney has been used
sparingly for Manchester United in midfield but should not have been starting
in the position for England having never played their in any of the qualifiers.
The guy doesn’t have the engine for that position nor the experience.
Granted, Iceland are hardly Brazil but people have to
understand that you are still playing at the highest level. When has Rooney
ever been in the position as a midfielder where he has to grab hold of the game
pull it out the bag for England. He never has! No wonder he completely went to
shit!
Harry Kane on set
pieces
Just how the f*ck can there not be another player in the
England team who can take a corner or free kick??!?
Creative players
Where is the new Gazza?
When are we going to produce someone who can actually dribble, beat a
player and control a game? Last time we did that we had Paul Scholes and we
shoved him on the left wing for Christ’s sake.
Whilst other teams have a Payet, an Ozil or a Hazard we look to the
bench and we have Jordan F*cking Henderson or James Milner. Need I say anymore
Are English players
just too thick and too insular?
The usual excuses
seem to have all run their course and since 1966 it seems like England have
tried nearly everything without ever really looking like making a major imprint
on the world stage. We have tried English managers, foreign managers,
youth, experience, pragmatism and also attacking football. We failed in hot
countries, in cold countries, we have taken teams to isolated camps, we have
taken teams to integrated areas. So is there some underlying reason for
England's failure that we are all missing out on? Is there a reason that we are
just perhaps not very good?
If someone could
answer that million pound question then I am sure it would have been done
already and England would be World Cup Winners but personally think that one
reason for England's failure to perform in big tournaments could be what I
would deem to be lack of intelligence.
Footballers need many
qualities and abilities for their profession. Physical strength, skill,
speed and perhaps an often ignored attribute...intelligence. In all forms
of life, intelligent people are generally good decision makers, find solutions
and more often than not, remain calm under pressure.
How often have we
seen in major tournaments England's perceived lack of game management, naivety
and in general, their lack of awareness on how to win games. How often have we
bemoaned their lack of ability to maintain possession or to close a game out?
I think my
intelligence argument has been heightened by looking at some of the punditry on
the TV this year. Maybe I am just a sucker for a foreign accent but don't all
the foreign footballers just sound more intelligent than England's? The likes
of Bilic, Matthaus and Petit have offered inciteful analysis as opposed to
someone like Alan Shearer who will generally stated “it’s just not good enough”.
On the other hand, the
likes of Henry, Vialli and Kompany all seem to speak with a certain wit, widsom
and smartness which embarrasses the likes of Savage, Shearer and such like.
In fact, I would go as so far as to say that even their English is better
than the British nationals themselves.
Could anyone else
imagine a Rio Ferdinand, a John Terry, a David Beckham or a Wayne Rooney going
onto Brazilian TV and getting involved with the banter with Fernanda Lima. I
don't think so. These guys can barely put three words together in their
own language, let alone a foreign tongue.
Associated with this
is the lack of English players going abroad to other countries. You can
probably count on one hand the amount of English players who have gone abroad
in the last thirty years. The challenge of integrating into another culture,
learning a new language, embracing different styles and opinions is a challenge
which has not been befitting of many of the current crop of English players and
dare I say requires a certain level of intelligence and know how.
Whilst I know England
as a whole struggles with languages, how wonderful is it to see other players
from foreign countries quickly assimilating into other cultures and fitting
into their lifestyle. Patrick Vieria, Gus Poyet, and Gianluca Vialli for
example, when they first came to England could not speak a word of
English but within a couple of years were speaking extremely fluently.
And what do we get from English footballers in their post match
interviews? "At the end of the day it was a tough game....etc etc."
Hardly the most inspiring of words.
So how does this lack
of intelligence and awareness possibly translate to the pitch? I think
game management would be the main area, as it appears that English players only
appear to know how to play the English way. Often it is derided.."Why
can't we play like Spain, Germany etc?". But this is not something you can
just switch on and off, it's something which can only be learnt by playing with
these players in different countries, gaining a deeper understanding of what
makes them tick, how they play their football.
I'm not suggest that
all footballers must be contestants on Countdown every week but perhaps a bit
more footballing "education" (that's a nine letter word btw) would
not go amiss and may help England finally perform better at tournaments in
future.
Right, this has been an extremely boring article so to cheer
you up here is a reminder of how things could be a lot worse if this man was in
charge of anything…..albeit maybe more entertaining!
Hey everyone! How we all
feeling today!? Hasn't this just been the best week ever?
Apologies for the lack of
updates, I would like to have a good excuse for you but I have generally just
been pissing about and taking procrastination to a whole new level in this
longer than unexpected period of unemployment.
However, I have now
awakened from my slumber after a tumultuous week for England, both in the
football and political world and will now begin my scathing assessment of
Ingerland’s defeat to the small supermarket nation, one of the surprise
packages of the tournament so far. I will also intersperse with the best
reactions and comments I have seen on Twitter and Instagram for your enjoyment.
As per each game so far,
the pre match tunnel highlighted a slightly psychopathic Joke Hart screaming and
shouting like some Zulu Warrior whilst the Icelandic XI alongside him appeared
well…ice cool. I have commented on Hart’s antics before and I am not sure why
he gets so hyped up before the games. Could you imagine Messrs Cech, De Gea or
Neuer getting into such a fret against a team of part timers, I seriously doubt
it.
Anyhow, the game started
in positive fashion with Sterling once again taking a tumble this week and
Rooney slotting home the resulting penalty with aplomb to leave England looking
firmly in control . I bet Boris Johnson sure would have loved seeing England in control...for all of 1 minute away.... I’m sure most people sitting at home thought that this was
the perfect start, Iceland would have to come out the shell and this would
leave England with the spaces to try and exploit the gaps.
·“By losing to
Iceland, England have exited a European institution amid shame twice in one
week. At least they are consistent”
Whilst the rest of the us
were sitting calculating exactly how many politicians had resigned from Jeremy
Corbyn’s cabinet, the England defence were caught napping as a long throw from
the Icelandic Rory Delap led to Ragnar
Sigurdsson smashing the ball in from close range. Cue massive celebrations in
the supermarket aisles from the Icelandic fans.
·“I hope
England give the job to someone Polish”
With my pre-match bet of
less than 3 goals already looking like it was in tatters a slightly uneasy
feeling was beginning to grow inside of me, a bit similar to when the first few
results came in from the EU referendum. Surely the unthinkable couldn’t
happen….could it?
Well dreams slowly began
to turn into a nightmare as a shocking error from Hart led to Iceland taking
the lead through Kolbeinn Sigthorsson after some fine interplay on the edge of
the England penalty box.
Fair to say though that I
wasn’t the only person who was surprised by this goal…nice one Schteve…
In all truth, the rest of
the game is a bit of a blur other than exchanging messages with friends alongside
the lines of “How shit is this performance” and “England are fucking awful.”
All I can really remember
is Iceland having the best chances of the game, Kane taking useless set pieces,
Rooney falling over and every single England player seemingly having the Yips. I think its fair to say that this was without doubt one of the worst English performances of all time at a major tournament. Shambolic, inept, gutless and quite frankly pathetic.
·“Imagine if
England had to face one of the big guns like Asda or Tesco”
Minor chances came and
went and the last throw of the dice came when England’s captain was withdrawn
to his obvious fury. To be fair to the incoming Rashford though, he probably did
more in 4 minutes then the rest of the England team did for the previous 86
·“England still
allows freedom of movement…in the penalty area”
All that was left for the
rather pathetic players to collapse to the turf in agony (or was it embarrassment)
and Hodgson to read out a pre-written statement saying that he had the best
time of his life and thanks for the £10 million he had trousered (or something like that).
“97% of the Iceland's population were celebrating, the other 3% were on the pitch”
So that’s it…the end of
another tournament for England and this time the players could not even be
bothered to make it to penalties. Perhaps it’s better this way, at least they didn’t
get our hopes up.
"Rooney earns £330,000 per week, Iceland has a population of 330,000"
All of which means I will
now be watching Iceland vs France on Monday in Paris which thankfully means I
can shelve having to wear full body armour and a gum shield which can only be a
good thing.
Tomorrow, I will try and
assess why it is that England are still monumentally shit at tournament
football, so look out for that!
So after a couple of
eventful weeks we have had our fair amount of thrills and spills, unfair dismissals,
dodgy decisions and wild celebrations. That’s right people, I’m not talking
about Euro 2016 but in fact the greatest show currently on TV at the moment….LOVE
ISLAND 2016!
Apparently I am not the
only mug at the moment watching this brilliant collection of freakshows so in
their honour I have created a Euro/Love Island XI (formation yet to be decided)
It also gives me the chance
to get a bit of partial nudity on the blog for you enjoyment, but as always in
the interest of fairness I will be including both the girls and guys.
Enjoy!
Terry vs Cristiano Ronaldo
Let’s start off with an
easy one. A tattooed prima donna with a greasy hair, Terry recently threw a
hissy fit after his girlfriend cut up a bit of his toast in the legendary “toast-gate" scandal as well as having the temerity to wear one of his t-shirts into
bed. How dare she? As for Monsieur Ronaldo, he may not have as
many tattoos but the greasy haired one still has the same pathetic attitude,
crying like a baby when things aren’t going his way, refusing to deal with the
Iceland draw in a respectful manner before having a nightmare of his own
against Austria the other night. The only question is, who has the bigger six -pack? The correct answer is that NO ONE CARES.
Zara (Miss GB-but don’t tell anyone) vs Roy Hodgson
The now departed former
Miss GB has been collectively getting on everyone’s tits for some time let’s
face it, both housemates and views included. Fair to say she’s been severely
lacking in banter and personality for pretty much the duration. The best thing she did quite frankly was cop
off with the scaffolder from Birmingham, at least it made things a bit more
entertaining. The best fit I could find was Roy Hodgson who after a rather
conservative start in the first game decided to throw caution to the wind
against Wales. Thankfully he didn’t jump into bed with Chris Coleman and
instead he showed he could be a bit of a crazy creature and threw on two
attacking substitutes in Vardy and Sturridge. Keep it coming Roy (just not in
that way).
Tom vs Robbie Savage
An annoying Welshman with
a ridiculous hairstyle and a propensity to be a bit aggressive and lose it
every now and then. Let’s face it, we
all know Tom is beating Sophie senseless off camera and Robbie Savage is
probably doing the same to Martin Keown.
Nathan vs Slaven Bilic
The loveable rogue of the
group, Nathan has stuck his colours firmly to the mast with Cara with an
unwavering devotion. A bit like Slaven
and his love for Dimitri Payet. Don’t believe me? Take a look at this!
Kady vs Jamie Vardy
Young, brash, direct but ultimately
pretty hard to ignore, Kady has been turning a few heads in Love Island.
Ultimately though you always think she is maybe just five seconds away from
saying something overtly inappropriate or acting in an immature way. I’m
struggling with this one a bit so I going to go for Jamie Vardy purely for his
legendary if slightly bizarre slogan of “Chat Shit, Get Banged” .Though if Kady said that, she would probably be getting a few offers of a different sort in return
Malin vs Glenn Hoddle
Malin, you heavenly mixture of Sri Lankan and Swedish goodness. Always there with a kind word and looking to diffuse every possible tense situation, what would we do without you. Your calming presence is one of your best attributes. A bit like Glenn Hoddle with his reassured and astute comments, bringing a sense of control when Ian Wright and Slaven decide to start shouting and screaming in the ITV studio.
Right, the eagle-eyed amongst you will have noticed that I have not actually completed a full XI. The reason is that this seemed a good idea at the time but its taking a longer time than expected and I need to go and sink a few cold ones before the big game tonight. However, I may continue this next time but like Love Island I like to leave things on a cliff hanger so stay tuned!
Absolute scenes in Lens as
England secured their first win of Euro 2016 against Wales and to put their
fate in their own hands before their game against Slovakia on Monday. Few would
argue that the victory was undeserved, although victory seemed a long way away
after Gareth Bale slammed home an early free kick from distance. Hodgson’s
decision to introduce Vardy and Sturridge after the break paid dividends
though, as Vardy’s close range finish was followed by a late late winner from
Liverpool’s main marksman.
Before the game even
started their were slightly unusual scenes in the tunnel as a rather frenetic
Joe Hart screamed “LETS MOVE THE FUCKING BALL”. Where he wanted the ball moved
from and to was a bit of a mystery but I am sure it made sense in his mind,though
in my personal opinion it would further accentuate my view that with his
personality I think he’s a bit of a dick. Does he ever have anything sensible
to say. Perhaps he should keep his mouth shut and focus on his goalkeeping in
future.
The game followed a
pattern as many had expected with England dominant with the ball although they
had the cutting edge of a butter knife with Mr Sterling the main culprit with a
poor miss from close range. His general performance
was pretty atrocious let’s face it, and he was looking more like a £5 signing
than £50m.
However, things took a
turn for the worst for England when a Rooney foul presented Bale with a chance
from distance at a free kick. I think I am not alone in thinking that he wouldn’t
score from that far out but he managed to make Joe Hart blush who could only
palm his dipping effort into the back of the net.
After this, England huffed
and puffed without really creating much at all. In fact the main entertainment
at this point was the horseplay between Messrs Savage and Keown in the
commentary box.
“That was a clear foul.” Says
Savage
“That was a blatant dive”
says Keown
However Keown then
surpassed his own ridiculousness by stating that Bale was the best player in
Europe. However, when Guy Mowbray correctly pointed out a certain Ronaldo at
Real Madrid, Keown said “well I think he will surpass him eventually”. So that
means he isn’t the best player then Martin…..
At half time, the wolves
were at Woy’s door and he reacted by bringing on Vardy and Sturridge to help
pep up England’s sorry attack with the lacklustre Kane and Sterling the two
players to be withdrawn
Vardy brought England
level with a classic predator’s finish before Wales repelled wave after wave of
England attack. It has to be said that Hennessey did not really have to do much
work due to the brilliant defence in front of him but Welsh hearts were broken
when Sturridge scooped home from close range to send England fans into bedlam.
So what have we learnt
from today’s game. The main points I suppose are that Sterling and Kane have
been monumentally shit in both games, Woy actually has a pair of cojones and
Vardy and Sturridge probably should be starting against Slovakia. As for Wales,
although they defended valiantly for large spells, they were generally pretty
poor today though in all likelihood they will still qualify.
On a personal note the
result means it’s more likely that I will NOT be seeing England for the games I
have tickets for. On the plus side this
means that I am less likely to be tear gassed or have my head smashed in by
some Russian ultras which can only be a good thing!
Finally, I am sure many of
you were watching the game at work/had skived off to watch the game. Personally
being unemployed and slightly hungover I was couch bound but this little clip
shows me everything that I missed out on
Happy Monday everyone. After
this weekend’s events, there are a few questions which need answering, so let’s
take a look
1) Why is Harry Kane taking corners?
Whilst I
toyed with the idea of Roy Hodgson having a personal vendetta against me due to
me having a Harry Kane to score anytime wager against Russia, I think it’s fair
to say that the whole of the country is completely perplexed as to why
Tottenham’s main marksman is on corner taking duties
A quick
perusal of the stats for the season shows that Kane has not had one assist from
a corner throughout the whole season. In fact, he doesn’t even take them for
Spurs, it’s mainly Christian Eriksen.
Apparently,
it’s because he can “strike the ball well” which to me translates to “he can
kick a ball”. Not sure why Messrs Alli, Rooney, Lallana would not be able to do
exactly the same and give England the chance of having the opportunity to be in
the box to actually stick it in the net.
For me it's a bit like being a famous porn star and instead of being asked to be the main star to instead step behind the camera and direct the movie. Hardly the smartest idea in the world. Come on Woy, sort it out!
2 2) What was Joachim Low smelling?
There is a lot about to
admire about the Germans, be it there ability to always get a result, their
mental strength or also Joachim Low's wonderful head of hair. However, on thing
I am not sure about is his personal hygiene. What exactly was going on here? Some bizarre real life version of Scratch and
Sniff?
Not content with one
effort, the German manager went for another. Thankfully for everyone else, he did
not go on to complete an unwanted hat trick!
Closer inspection reveals that Low actually does have previous on this. Just ask Cristiano Ronaldo!
3) Where did Modric's ball come from? Luka Modric spanked in a wonderful goal on the weekend with the ball appearing to drop from miles in the sky before being laced beautifully into the bottom corner. A few people have asked where the ball had dropped from, with some quoted as saying it had dropped in from outer space. However, the correct answer is that the ball had finally returned from this famous penalty miss from Chris Waddle in Italia 90. If you watch the videos straight after each other then you will see it all makes sense...honest
So first up today was the
titanic battle between Albania vs Switzerland which truth be told was probably
a better game than most people had expected.
I missed the first half as I was out doing a bit of shopping for my
holiday to the Euros. However, instead of the usual purchase of t-shirts and
shorts I decided to buy a bullet proof vest and a hard helmet having witnessed
the recent scenes in Marseilles.
The main talking point off
the match was the fact that each side was fielding a brother from the same
family for the first time in Championship history, Messrs Granit and Taulant
Xhaka.
I will admit that was
fairly interesting but of more interest to me was the fact that the winner was
scored by none other than Cher! Amazing
stuff. Added to fine performances by Shakira and Chaka Khan and it looks like
their tactic of fielding a line-up of female popstars was a major instrument in
their ability to pick up a vital three points.
Bales 2 Slovakia 1
Great scenes in Bordeaux
as a Gareth Inspired Bales beat Slovakia 2-1 thanks to a late winner from the
magnificently named Hal Robson-Kanu. I’m
not sure if this guy is the bastard son of Bryan Robson and Nwankwo Kanu but if
he continues to score late goals like that he will be held in the same regard
as the aforementioned.Not the cleanest of strikes but I don't think any of the watching Welsh army would be bothered by that, as long as the ball hits the back of the onion bag that's all that matters
A thoroughly deserved win
and a result which firmly puts the pressure on England against the Russians in
Marseilles
Spurs/England 1 – 1 Russia
It was agony for England
as a last gap equaliser from the Russians thwarted their hopes of securing
their first ever winin the opening match of a European Championships. With the
game looking like it was over, a towering header from Berezutski looped over
Joe Hart to leave the England XI shattered.
Hodgson’s side started
very firmly on the front foot with the triumvate of Alli, Rooney and Dier
controlling the game in the middle of the pitch and with good width offered by
the full backs Walker and Rose. Chances came and went with Lallana probably
missing the best chance when he screwed the ball wide following a wonderful
build up
However, the game remained
goalless at half time and the Russians came out with added intensity after the
break and pegged England back for the first 10 minutes or so. It was not long
though before England resumed control with Rooney again driving the team
forward and he was desperate unlucky when he was denied by a world class save.
With chances coming and
going it looked like it was going to be one of those nights when up stepped
Eric Dier in the 73rd minute to slam home a free kick from close
range and to send the England fans into rapture.
Unknown to me, I was
alerted by my friend Mark who had noticed a slightly unusual bit of commentary
as both sides re-assembled for kick off
“JUSTICE FOR THE ENGLAND
XI!!” proclaimed Clive Tydesley
Now I think we can all
appreciate that Clive has said the odd daft thing in his time but most of us
probably don’ t mind that and he is pretty popular due to his chummy/matey kind
of commentary
Following this statement
though I had to do some research to find out what the England team had done to
deserve justice. I quickly went through the game in my mind and could not
recall any bad penalty calls, incorrect red cards or dodgy offside decisions.
I then moved onto the team’s
history together and could not find any wrongful imprisonment or accusations.
So, it looks like Clive’s cry for justice was based on the fact that England
had not taken their chances during the game….er…and that’s it. Not sure what
you had been smoking Clive but probably best to leave such comments on the
notepad in the future.
The game was followed by
more unsavoury scenes in the stands which has meant that I will once again have
to step up my efforts to protect myself for when I head to Marseilles in a
couple of weeks.
Here is the latest item I
have ordered, hopefully this will do the business! If you see me, give me a wave!
Enjoy today's games, I will be back later on tomorrow!