Guest Article…………Why does the nation hate Fat Frank?

Here is our first guest article at On The Bench. We would like to thank Saran Satefanen for his musings and comments and invite you to join in. If you have anything you want to say or comment about then email us at on-the-bench@hotmail.co.uk . In the meantime, I will leave you to read Saran’s article on the Fat One.......

Why does the nation hate Fat Frank?












Is he actually fat? If you saw ‘Fat Joe’ on a football pitch, you could tell immediately that this guy doesn’t belong on a football pitch! He belongs in a Weight Watchers Fat Camp! Is it because of FrankTV? Is it because he cheats on his wife and kisses his wedding ring to celebrate a goal? I bet no one really knows! The fact of the matter is, if you ask anyone why you hate Fat Frank they will tell you it’s because ‘He’s a fat cu*t!’

Fat Frank, as he is affectionately known is considered as one of the most over hyped midfielders in world football. But is it actually hype or has he got something to deliver? Fat Frank has consistently scored on average over 15 goals a season from midfield. How many midfielders in world football produce that? Barely any. People argue that Fat Frank has got Makelele doing the dirty work for him so it allows him to get forward and do the easy stuff, but when the worst tackler in the world football a.k.a Paul Scholes was banging them in you never heard anyone mention the work of Roy Keane behind the scenes.

People generally also argue that he goes missing in the big games. Games at Anfield come to mind: Champions League Semi Finals. Then again he has scored big goals on the International scene. He scored the opener against France at the European Championships 2004; he also scored against Portugal in the same tournament to equalise in extra time. He also scored some big goals to help Chelski win back to back Premiership titles. A brace at the Reebok springs to mind to help Chelski bring the title back to Stamford Bridge for the first time since 1955 Yes Fat Frank had a disgraceful World Cup, but isn’t that true about the whole England team in general. Making Lumpard the scapegoat for England’s generally inept showing in the World Cup is plain wrong. Ronaldinho had a poor World Cup also but you don’t hear people saying that he’s terrible.
















This season Chelski lost to Aston Villa; Fat Frankie was not playing. Was he missed? I think he was. Chelski missed that bite from midfield, the long range scorcher that’s required when you just can’t pass through the team. However, it may be argued that his time is up. These big game performances came in the years of 2004 and 2005. Where are they now? When that Russian Billionaire burst his way into West London, Fat Frank knew his place was under threat. The signings of Juan Veron, Scott Parker, Claude Makelele and Joe Cole meant he was not guaranteed a place in the starting line up. It was when the pressure of performing was on that he really would stop himself from eating that extra pie. It pushed him to becoming one of the world’s best so much so that Mathias Sammer hailed the Romford Fatty as “the best player in the world”. As he established himself as of Jose Moaninho’s ‘untouchables’ he seems to have helped himself to some more pies and is quite literally living on his own hype. When is the last significant moment he produced in a big game? Can’t remember!

Once a player selected regularly for England starting XI and one of Jose Moron’s ‘untouchables’ he now is under immense pressure from both country and club! The recent booing exploits of the England faithful and the recent change of managerial post at Chelski leaves Fat Frank in unknown territory. Will he silence his critics with the goals that made him Runner Up to World Footballer of the Year or will he wither away? It remains to be seen! One thing that’s for definite is that he will get you a goal albeit a deflected one!

Saran Satefanen