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Magnum Look Ronaldo Fails To Do His Maths..

Saturday, 30 June 2012


So, another scintillating goal-fest in the Euros in the first Semi-Final between Spain and Portugal.  This was a real game for the purists, with attacking football at is finest, and chances being created nearly every minute in front of a capacity crowd who could barely control their excitement.

Ok, maybe not. In fact, aside from an interesting first half the game had about as much sparkle as a bottle of Blue Nun.  The game was so boring in fact, that I actually spent most of the game talking to my flatmate about an interesting Mathematics problem which had won me a bet at work.

The premise was that I had bet my colleague the princely sum of £5 that two people on my floor would have exactly the same birthday. Needless to say the poor mug accepted the challenge thinking that with only around 40 people, the probability would be next to zero.  Alas, he was merked in double quick time as it transpired that the girl sitting behind me actually had the same birthday as yours truly, 19th November (just in case you want to send a present later on in the year).  An easy way for all of you to make money really, all you need is around 40 people or more and you are nearly almost guaranteed to win it. If you are sad and want an explanation to this madness then let me know and I will send the answer to you via pen and paper.

Anyway, back to the game, and another man who failed to do his maths correctly.  That's right, the fake Ronaldo thought that by putting his name last on the shoot out list that he would help his team qualify for the final.  What was going through his mind I am not entirely sure.  Stupidity, arrogance or perhaps just pure selfishness?  Was he simply hoping to take all the glory?  Can he not count?  He may have been Portugal's best player but this idiotic decision showed a rather pathetic side to someone who was perhaps in contention for player of the tournament.

On another note, am I the only person getting annoyed with the ridiculous amount of preparation and posturing we see every time he takes a free kick?  I will confess that I don't see that much of La Liga these days so I am not sure how many set pieces he actually powers home, but it seems to be the amount of free kicks he misses by a mile seem to outweigh those that actually hit the onion bag.  Is he simply trying to imitate the Magnum look from Zoolander? Either way, its getting on my tit in a pretty big way


So, what of the Spanish?  More tedium and never-ending foreplay from our footballing hombres mean that they are resounding winners of "Cock-Tease of the Tournament."  They did try to start with a striker this time, but unfortunately for all of us, they started with the wrong one. The utterly hapless Negrido being hooked in the second half to be replaced by yet more midfielders.

Torres must be pretty mystified as to what's going on but Del Bosque's antics have got the Spanish to the final so I suppose he cannot really argue too much.  I just hope for everyone's sakes that they regain a cutting edge and attacking intent so that we can get the outstanding final to cap what in my view as been a disappointingly average tournament.

Sunil

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