Lazy Punditry Just Needs to Stop...

After another Christmas of not doing especially a fat lot, I decided to take my usual place on the sofa and tune into a Boxing Day feast of football which comprised of the usual dose of Soccer Saturday followed by Match of the Day.

Whilst this for me is pretty much a perfect Saturday and nothing can quite beat the sound of Chris Kamara shouting "Unbelievable Jeff" or Paul Merson screeching "He's hit the Beans on Toast!!", one thing which has persistently frustrated an annoyed me about these programs is the ridiculous amount of bias that the pundits and presenters show towards the "Bigger Teams" and also the "London Teams" in particular.  In my view, the punditry at times is incredibly "lazy".

By lazy, I mean the fact that for example , in the pre-match chit chat for Soccer Saturday which is a whopping 3 hours, the ex-professionals' debate on the games is incredibly lop sided in terms of how much time they assign to each team.  For example, a Man Utd vs WBA game will be treated to say 20 mins of chit chat with 18 mins dedicated to Man Utd with discussions of Wayne Rooney's hair cut to Gigg's antics and then a mere aside saying that WBA will be hopeful of a point or such like.  Is this really fair?  Where is the detail and analyis of the other team involved in the equation?  And don't even get me started on their insistence of calling the  big teams players names by their first name or even their nickname.  I even heard Kamara refer to Gerrard as "Stevie G"  on Saturday afternoon. Unbelievable(!)

Are these pundits too lazy to actually do any research into every team in the Premiership?  Or are they only bothered about the old pals act they have going on with their former clubs?  These guys have the whole week to study games and facts and yet it appears only Monsieur Stelling takes anything in and he really is an exception to the rule.

An example of this sheer arrogance and know it all behaviour of this was on Saturday's MOTD after the Wigan Vs Man Utd game.  With the game fairly well poised Connor Sammon received a harsh red card and then the game was pretty much a non event.  After the game, Lawro said that the result was unlikely to have changed despite the sending off which was probably a fair comment.  However, he then added to this by saying that Wigan were never likely to win because they had lost every game in the Premiership to Man Utd prior to that. I am not a Wigan fan but if that comment had been made about my team I would have been fuming!  Is the guy a bookie or a pundit? I am all for opinions but assuming Wigan would lose just because of previous games was a ridiculous thing to say. This was a team which had taken good points of Chelski and Liverpool in recent games. Prior to yesterday, WBA had lost every boxing day in the Premiership.  Did that mean that because of that Lawro expected the Baggies to forfeit the game and hand the 3 points to City?  Because it's just as well we didn't isn't it?

These clowns will also spend 5 hours spunking themselves silly over a decent goal from say a Rooney or a RVP yet almost completely dismissing a perhaps even better goal from a player who is from a smaller or lesser known team (for example, see Morrison for WBA vs Blackburn on Youtube..how many of you were aware of that goal?)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpVRHXMP2Ak

It cannot be denied that Sky can be just as bad, and you can almost guarantee that a a 4-4 draw between Bolton and Norwich would not be Game of the Day if Tottenham managed to beat Blackburn 3-1 in a fairly drab game.

This nonsense has been going on for many years now, with every time a top 4 team fails to win , it too often being blamed an "off day" without any credit given to the opposition. I would expect this sort of behaviour off managers and players alike but certainly not the neutrals in the studio who are receiving a large wedge of our license fee money to pay for their too often useless opinions.

Sunil

LFC are the biggest losers...not Suarez

Liverpool FC. A team often associated with great past glories, one of the best match day atmospheres and some of the finest players to have ever graced the British game. However, their actions in response to the suspension handed to Luis Suarez have in my opinion been nothing short of extraordinary.

I am sure you have all had your chance to digest the days events and to sum up my feelings regarding the ban, I consider that it was a fair punishment, all things considered. Whether or not Luis Suarez is actually a racist is a completely different matter but his decision to use words which could cause offence based on colour/ethnicity was deserving of such a punishment in my view.

The main reason that I am blogging is that I cannot believe the reaction of LFC and more pertinently, the statement they released on their website. Was this statement put together by Gustavo Poyet? Or a 15 year old? Or both?

The statement states that Suarez cannot be a racist because of his background and his actions in the past in helping ethnic minorities in the community. Firstly, the FA did not call Suarez racist, they actually just said that he used inappropriate wording about colour. That aside, suggesting that someone cannot be racist simply because he is of a mixed origin is nothing short of farcical. I, for example, am of Indian descent. But if I walked into the office and addressed a black colleague by saying "What's up N***er!" would I really be able to hide behind my ancestry to suggest that this sort of wording was acceptable? Of course I wouldn't. The logic shown by LFC in this instance is utterly ridiculous.

Furthermore, LFC have stated that the case was based on only Evra's word? Did LFC actually realised that Suarez himself said that he had a used a word towards Evra which he said that his own players also used towards him. So it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realise that something was definitely said by the Uruguyan.

Then to make things worse, they then make reference to Evra's previous "racist incidents", using it as a stick to beat him with. Talk about classless.  (I have noted that it has been indicated that Evra made a comment about Suarez's South American roots but this article is not commenting on that, more the reaction from LFC).

Of course the club intend to appeal the ban which they believe was too harsh. Now whilst comparing other situations across other professions can be difficult, a while back a certain Rodney Marsh made a certain comment about the Tsunami and was subsequently sacked immediately.  I am not suggesting that Suarez should be sacked but to suggest that the ban was unfair or out of proportion is difficult to agree on.

I am quite simply shocked that LFC have refused to condemn any of Suarez's actions in this whole episode. The very fact that he used a word which reference Evra's colour is a pretty damning indictment on his part, whether it was meant to cause racial offence or not. If a Chinese guy pissed me off I would just call him a rude word perhaps but if I was to call him a little ch*nk then I could hardly blame anyone for concluding that I was being racially offensive. Suarez has only himself to blame in my opinion but the embarassment caused by LFC's response means that he has not come out of this debacle with the least amount of respect out of all parties involved. That dubious accolade belongs to Liverpool Football Club.

Sunil


P.S As I have written this article, it has transpired that the team and manager are supporting Suarez by wearing T-shirts in the warm up with his face on the front.  Absolutely unbelievable!

No Sympathy for Steve Kean...

If there is one thing we love in football, its a villain. Someone to hurl abuse at in such a fashion that it would not be out of fashion at a Pantomime at the Hippodrome in Birmingham. However, in pantomime we all know that anyone booing or hissing is merely in jest and by the end of the evening the actors and actresses all are smiling away as they accept the standing ovation which their performance (just about) deserves.

However, the world of football is not as forgiving as your punters down the local theatre. The abuse which was handed to Steve Kean at the end of the West Brom game was pretty vile but lets be honest, after the last minute goal by Peter Odemwingie, it was handed to him by about 10 people, as the vast majority of fans were already streaming towards the exit gates.

I have been a football fan for around 20 years and I am going to be honest and say that I have handed out my fair share of stick to both players and managers alike, but never to the level that Mr Kean is currently receiving. In fact, my approach has softened slightly over recent years as I have come to the opinion that just because all the professionals earn more than me, it does not necessarily merit me to be able to spew words of a vicious nature to the men.

Which would perhaps lead me to suggest that I have some sympathy for Mr Kean's current predicament. But the truth is, I don't. My sympathy completely lies with the Blackburn fans.

When Fat Sam was booted out by the Indians a year ago, there was definitely a dodgy whiff in the air (no curry jokes please). That these newcomers would get rid of an established (if perhaps disliked) manager and replace him with a man with no Premiership managerial experience seemed a little odd to say the least and at best, it was completely irresponsible. In fact, I was of the opinion that perhaps Kean had walked in on the Venkys having a threesome with one of their chickens and was going to use evidence this as blackmail. That seemed a the only logical experience at the time.

Fast forward a year later, and Kean's results in the Premiership have been nothing short of atrocious. A quite simply awful 7 wins from 37 games , 2 of which were against my beloved Baggies (how embarrassing). In fact, Blackburn's survival last year was mainly based on the ineptitude of the teams around them to put a run of results together, rather than the Rovers being able to put together any decent results themselves.

In terms of taking the job, no one could really blame Kean. Almost all football professionals in his job would have done the same thing. And lets be honest, the guy talks a good game. He keeps insisting his team will turn the corner, were unlucky, got shafted by the ref or will call upon their "team spirit" to dig them out the hole they are in. How about this Steve, why don't you get them actually playing football together and doing the basics right? That is what your job is to organise! He was rather smartly been observed as football's equivalent of Comical Ali. "Everything is under control....there are no enemies here.!!". Ho hum

Even as a non Blackburn fan this can be hard to take sometimes, and God knows what it must be like for the Rovers fans to put up with. His appearances in public remind me of a recent programme which chronicled the collapse of RBS bank. For those with a only a passing interest, I will educate you if I may.

Around 6 months before the collapse, the board of members and its head, Fred "The Shred" Goodwin held a meeting with shareholders. By this time, everyone in the country knew that the bank was pretty much f*cked. However, the members refused to acknowledge this and instead of resigning, decided to declare that they were "fighters" and would help the bank out the mess. They even denied that the bank was in any sort of trouble. This was complete nonsense of course. They merely did not want to resign in the hope that they would not lose out financially which I think is what Steve Kean is doing.

It has gotten to the point that his arrogance to remain in the post is actually hurting the club more than if he stays. When it gets to the stage where a man is not willing to fall on his own sword for the benefit of others its hard to maintain any sympathy. Let me cast your mind back a year or so ago when Gordon Strachan resigned and sacrificed any pay off from Middlesborough. I believe in fact, that even our beloved Schteve McLaren did the same when he left Nottingham Forest. At least these Ginger Ninjas have a smidgen of self respect left and will probably pick up work in the future. Unlike Mr Kean who will probably end up working selling Chicken Burgers in a later life. And so, all that's left for me to say is......KEAN OUT! (come on, if everyone else is saying it then why not me?)

Sunil

Things I Miss About Football....

Part 2....Players Celebrating Goals (OTT)

It has been said by many a man that scoring a goal is better than sex. Whether this is actually true I personally am not too sure, but I think that the feeling of scoring a goal is pretty much unparalleled in world sport. And for years, everyone knew that footballers felt this way. In recent years, and I am talking mainly about the 90s, a player smashing the ball into the net would result in the team indulging in a veritable orgy of fist pumping, kissing, and general madness. This would often result in the team then conceding a goal straight from kick off as they wallowed in this moment, before realising that there was still a game going on.

However, it seems to me that players these days seem to be taking things a bit calmer when they score goals, often to the point where I wonder if the players had actually missed the chance rather than having dispatched it in the onion bag. Too often putting the ball into the net has been replaced with players celebrating with a modest handshake, a tap on the shoulder or waving to their mum in the crowd. And the ones that really grate are players that cannot even muster smile. SHAME ON YOU

For me this is unacceptable. Players these days seem to be hammered by the fans for not caring, for doing it for "the money". What better way would there be for players to deal a retort to this by actually celebrating in an over the top manner when they score? I long for the days when players such as Filipo Inzaghi would score a one yard tap in with his backside in a mid-table game and then wheel away to the half way line as he if he had just scored the winner in the World Cup Final. Over the top? Yes. Entertaining? Most certainly

There is an argument that players are more careful because they might get booked by the referee which is a fair point but I get totally pi$$ed off when I see players such as the fake Ronaldo celebrating a goal by strutting or pouting. Even the passionate Wayne Rooney seems to fall into this trap from time to time. The guy slammed in a hat trick against Arsenal this year then celebrated by just hugging a team mate. Some may this was respectful to the Arsenal fans but I could not give a monkeys! I would rather he went to the Arsenal fans on his knees and cupped his ears, perhaps in the style of Adebayor for Manchester City.

Anyway, here are a couple of videos to remind players of how goals should be celebrated. These are a couple of all my time favourites. You try telling these players that scoring isn't the best feeling in the world

Sunil

Things I Miss About Football....

Part 1...Fat Footballers

If I was to ask you to name the fattest footballer currently plying their trade in the Premiership then what would your answer be? A difficult question to answer isn't it. Perhaps Yakubu? And even then he is hardly a Rik Waller lookalike. Fat Frank? Lets be honest here, this is really just a moniker and probably arose because over 10 yards he is slower than most people's grannies, rather then anything to do with his actual physique.

Anyway, the point is that most of the Premiership's footballers are now lean, mean ,footballing machines. Perhaps influenced by the influx of foreign managers,most teams these days have a pretty strict dietary regime with stringent regulations on what they can consume.

I personally find all this rather boring and long for the days when nearly every teams would have a fat footballer within their ranks, and more often than not,the fat playmaker/goal poacher. People who fit into this category include players such as Jan Molby, Mick Quinn, John Barnes, Fat Le Tissier (I mean Matt). One could even argue that the greatest player of all time was perhaps a little bit on the portly side, the special Maradona.

Why do I miss the involvement of these players? Perhaps because a lot of these players were actually pretty talented. The fact that they were so fat and still got regular playing action through their skills alone. Let's take a look at modern footballer, someone like Theo Walcott for an example. A very quick athlete but with all the footballing nouse of a dead pigeon. Then take for example, Matt Le Tissier, a player who could stand around on his fat arse for 89 minutes and then promptly waltz past 5 players and slam one into the top corner. I think I know which one I would rather see

These players are also take me back to a time when they fans believed that the footballers on the same level as they were and were playing for "us". What more could you want then to see Mick Quinn bury a 6 yard finish and then see him down the pub after the game putting away 5 pints of lager? These days the first thing footballers probably do is take sh*t after the game and get Gillian McKeith to inspect it.

Returning to Mick Quinn , the legendary Geordie got paid to put the ball in the back of the onion bag, which he did on a regular basis. It is often said that a good striker will always “finish his dinner”. However, Quinn perhaps took this a bit too literally, as after finishing his dinner, he would then proceed to finish everyone else’s for them.

Midfielders such as Molby and Gazza often had to use their excellent vision and ability to spray a long pass to make up for the fact that if they ran with the ball for more than 20m they would run of out of breath. But did this take away any enjoyment from watching them play? Not a jot in my opinion. In fact, players like this probably had more skill in their little toe then a lot of modern Premiership footballers have in their whole body.

So overall, what I would say is this. A lot of footballers these days appear to be athletes as opposed to footballers. Whereas the beauty really comes when players are the other way round. In other words..... BRING BACK THE FATTIES!!

Sunil

Premiership Ups and Downs.....

Rather later than planned, here are the ups and downs from the Premiership this week

Going Up...

Robin Van Persie

So the glass man has entered the records books at Arsenal with a ton of goals to his name, both of which were sublime finishes. Its a shame that his injury record is so poor or else he would be in a position where he could play for one of the best teams in Europe (muhaha). Also, did anyone notice the rather bizarre commentary on MOTD for his near post finish. Rather than shout out "What a goal", the suspect (might have been Motty) screamed out "Great Refereeing!". Utterly bizarre.

Ramires

This guy might look like an Ethiopian who is constantly scurrying around for his latest meal but after his howler at Old Trafford he managed to redeem himself. His 2 lung busting efforts from midfield mean that the end is surely nigh for Monsieur Lampard

Stoke

Love them or hate them, they get results and they well worthy of a point against United. Nice to see Crouchy causing problems again (and this time, not in relation to his incessant cheating on his girlfriend).

Going Down

Steve Bruce

When Roy Keane left a few years ago, Sunderland and had an overly expensive assembled squad of Man United has beens (Bardsley, Richardson, D.Yorke), falling attendances, no trophies and a pretty turgid style of football. Fast forward 3 years and we are there again with Old Potato Head Steve Bruce (sub W.Brown, O Shea and Gibson for the above). How on earth this guy can be a manager I have no idea. All you hear is excuses, excuses and more excuses. More importantly, this guy seems to be getting bigger by the week in size and I think if he puts any more weight on he could be in danger of popping out of his suit like a deflated balloon. Surely the sack beckons sooner rather than later?

Richard Dunne

Will someone please tell this man that he is meant to put the ball in the OTHER net.

Spectators of WBA Vs Fulham

I went home last weekend to watch this debacle. Possibily one of the worst games I have ever seen (and believe you me, I have seen some shit over the years). WBA were crap and Fulham were not much better. How they managed to get 2 minutes of highlights on MOTD I have no idea. It was bit like walking in and finding your parents having sex. Upsetting, unnecessary and something which should be erased from the memory as soon as possible.

Frank Lampard

Franky better start filming some more "Super!" adverts because I think his football career could now be over. Spurned by both England and and now Chelski, the writing is pretty much on the wall

Sunil

Chicharito? Suck My Golden Balls

I was sitting in my new flat a couple of weeks ago watching the entertaining Benfica Vs Man United game when the name of Javier Hernandez was uttered by the commentator. "That's pretty cool" said my flatmate Micky when an image of the Mexican one came onto the screen. "It's like he's got his rapper's name on the back of his shirt." (Micky is a rapper/MC who goes by the name of Micky Worthless)

I immediately stated my disgust at this, not at what he said, but at the notion that a player could have his nickname emblazoned on his shirt. My response? "I'm sorry but this is just ridiculous, what the hell would have happened if David Beckham had trotted out at Old Trafford with the name Golden Balls adorned on the coveted Red Jersey? Or even worse, 'G.Balls'". Utterly ludicrous I am sure you would agree.

The funny thing is that 'Chicharito' has even more letters than Hernandez anyway (I hope my maths is right) so its hardly saving letters or time to pronounce his name. I was even wracking my brain to think if anyone else had got away witch such a ludicrous request. Why not just open the floodgates? We could have defender Fitz Hall with "One Size" on his back, a little midget could have "SWP". Did Dion Dublin ever have "Donkey D*ck" written on shirt? Where would the madness stop? I mean, should we expect Joey Barton to have the word "C*NT" written on his jersey? Actually, on second thoughts, perhaps this nickname concept isn't such a bad idea after all....

An Apology

An apology for the lack of updates recently...this hasn't been because I couldn't be arsed. I was away on my travels in Thailand and came back to find my computer had died. Not good. I will be back up and running when tonight's match is done and dusted. In the Wo meantime, I will leave you with the above picture which I took when conducting some informal scouting for my local team (ahem). Wowser

Premiership Ups and Downs.....

As the Americans would say, Gameweek 1 is over. F*CK YEAH! Let’s see who's feeling higher than Pete Doherty and those who are lower than a snake’s belly.

Going Up

Sergio Aguero & David Silva

I am sure I am not the only person who is going to be commenting on the spunktastic debut from Sergio Aguero but it was truly wonderful to watch. I mean, let’s keep it in perspective, he did enter against a tiring Swansea side, but even then his impact was terrific to watch and showed he could have the potential to perform as well as he does on Pro Evo ( sorry I mean for Atletico Madrid). It’s fair to say he could be making the sort of difference to City that Torres did to Liverpool in his first season and he could look right at home in the Premiership. However, the main joy of the game was the brilliant orchestrator David Silva. I personally think as football has progressed , especially in the Premiership, then has been a diminishing influence of the little playmaker. However, Silva is a throwback to the good old days and it’s great to see someone who relies solely on vision, touch and awareness to flourish, rather than just physical prowess. Add to this his understanding with Aguero and is it possible that we could be seeing the birth of a partnership to equal that of Dwight Yorke and Andy Cole. I suggest we stay tuned to the tabloids to see if they can score just as well as Dwight and Andy did off the pitch.

Man United

How many other teams could have one shot on target and still win 2-1 when they looked to be heading for a draw? We might as well just hand the title to them now

Michael Vorm

He may have let in 4 goals but he had an outstanding debut. Makes you wonder what Arsene Wenger is up to if even Swansea can find a decent keeper. Apparently Wenger was sent a DVD of outstanding keepers at budget prices. His retort “I didn’t see it.”

Bolton Wanderers

Partypoopers of the highest order. And with the start these guys have, its probably just as well they have points on the board early doors

Fernandos Torres

Could the forgotten one be inching back to his best? Quite possibly, but whilst playing in a team which leaves him chronically short on service we are unlikely to ever see him hit the heights of those glory days at Anfield, which is a shame.

Going Down

David de Gea

Another game, another cock up. Ashley Young helped him get away with it but expect this guy to be getting a lot of the rough stuff in his debut season.

Mario Balotelli

This guy is pi$$ed off even when he is playing and scoring. Lord knows how this loose cannon will react now that City won’t be needing him and the Aguero love in will begin. Wouldn’t surprise me to see him start some riots of his own in the near future. Watch this space.

QPR

Blackpool won 4-0 on the first day of last season and still got relegated. So it doesn’t bode well for the Super Hoops who got a mauling in front of their own fans on Saturday. Perhaps my tip of Neil Warnock getting the sack could happen sooner rather than later.

Gary Neville

Could Sky Sports now have their own version of Garth Crooks? Quite possibly. I suggest you mute the TV when this guy is on

Wayne Routledge

Apparently this clown has played for over 7 Premiership Teams, took part in over 100 games and still not scored a Premiership goal. Imagine a Porn Star who had starred in over 100 movies but not got his leg over. Please, someone tell this guy he is in the wrong business.

Joey Barton & Gervinho

Panto season starts early at St James Park. An embarrassment of the highest order. Not probably seen the famous Bowyer/Dyer debacle...talking of which...

Kieron Dyer

The glass man returns with a vengeance. He has my every sympathy but I think its about time he did the honourable thing and pack it in. This guy has had probably less game time then Winston Bogarde did at Chelsea. And that's saying something.

Sunil

The Great Sack Race

Whilst predicting who will be in the running for the title is about as easy as looting a JD Sports in Hackney, a perhaps far more difficult task is looking at who are the contenders for the chop. So let’s take a look at the managers facing a “squeaky bum time”.

Harry Redknapp

I’m gonna start off with a potential left field choice in good old ‘arry from the Lane. This is might seem a slightly ludicrous prediction but stay with me on this one. Spurs are in the god forbidden Europa League this season and probably need a good run in order to bring in extra revenue and potentially win a cup to keep Mr Levy happy. Ally this with a desperate need to get in the Champions League again to keep the likes of VDV, Modric and Bale happy and the squad at the Lane could soon be very stretched and the failure to sign a top quality centre half and striker could soon seem them plummeting down the league quicker than a lead balloon. Add to this Redknapp’s obsession of whoring himself for the England job at every opportunity and it’s not hard to see that things could take a turn for the worst quicker than expected. Harry has previously admitted that he tends to go to clubs who are struggling in form and has never been to anywhere where they are already doing well. This analysis would place him directly at the door of the England job and he would have no qualm in jumping ship, as shown by his times at Pompey and Southampton. In all honestly, I personally want to see him sacked just so Jamie doesn’t spend an hour fellating him whilst in the Sky Studio (not literally of course)

Roberto Mancini

Mancini is an interesting character to say the least. An absolute legend of a player, his attitude to management is somewhat surprisingly pragmatic. If you were to give Mancini unlimited money to buy the best ingredients the he would end up concocting a Hamburger and Fries and not a Michelin Star Meal. Let’s be honest, City are pretty horrible to watch and rely on nicking the odd goal to win games or grinding down the opposition. With Tevez likely to depart the onus could fall on Mario Balotelli to lead the line. That’s a bit like letting your 7 year old kid drive your Mercedes Benz. That’s right, you wouldn’t. Whilst City have the squad to maintain a good Champs League run unless they are in the running for the title early doors then Scarfed one could be in trouble. His negativity last season did not matter as City were only aiming for 4^th but to challenge for the title a more expansive approach will be needed. The FA Cup may have bought him time but when there is big money at stake then nothing can be put past those gazillionaire owners who are more trigger happy then Tony Montana with a machine gun.

Neil Warnock

An anagram of Neil Warnock is Colin W*nker. This has nothing to do with him getting the sack but it does always make me laugh. Colin took QPR to the title last year with plenty left to spare but this season will be a different kettle of fish. With millionaire owners refusing to give him more than about 2 quid to spend, the omens are not good. The mercurial Abel Taraadbt (hope I spelt that right) may be his saviour but Colin, although now a bit more mellowed ,still has an abrasive edge which may not go down well with his owners when the going gets tough. Nothing less than survival will be expected this year and if the R’s are in trouble around Xmas don’t be surprised to see Colin get his P45 as the owners look for a more glamorous name to splash the cash and take them to safety. I also would like to see him sacked because I think he’s a kn*b, but that’s by the by.

Alex Ferguson

Just kidding

(and a lot of you are probably thinking Arsene Wenger but even though I think he should go I would be astonished if the board fired him)

Mick McCarthy

I am sure most of you will agree that Mick is an affable chap. He also has a weird nose but I will forgive him for that. Wolves survived by the skin of their teeth last year thanks largely to an incredible record against teams in the top echelons of the table. With that unlikely to be repeated this year, the dirty Dingles will have to improve their form against the weaker sides which is far easier said than done. The signing of Roger Johnson could be key but the board will be hoping for more than last day survival this year and expect the pressure to be cranked up to the extreme this season. Mick’s saviour may be that there are probably 3 worse teams than Wolves in the league but if they are near the danger zone come Christmas then expect Mick’s nose to be put even more out of joint (not sure if that’s actually possible).

So there you go, there are my tips for the sack race. Please feel free to send me any winnings when the predictions come in.

Sunil

Football? Bah Humbug

Football is back. I should be excited. But I’m not. And that’s unusual. The impending football season for me is like the unwanted return of the Genital Herpes which you thought you had shaken off, only to return when you least expect it. This really shouldn’t be how I feel.

The Championship is a few days away and is swiftly followed by the return of the Premiership season. Cue adverts from Sky showing that we cannot live without football. But for me that simply isn’t true. After the end of the season I was actually grateful. The season finale and in particular Survival Sunday was a heart wrenching, nerve wracking spectacle which few other sports could ever match. A great note to finish on and then to take a good couple of months break before getting all excited about the next season...

....which like a flash has already arrived. But am I bothered? Not really. The two month break has descended into a two month orgy of football rumours/non football rumour which means it’s like the season has never ended. I understand that journalists must be having a difficult time of it to be honest. Like school teachers in the 6 week holiday, they have pretty much the square root of f*ck all to do. However, this for me is no excuse to just churn out non stories or link players with clubs a million times over without substance. The Tevez, Fabregas affairs are typical of this. Every time I see an article with either of these players in I just want to take the paper and wipe my arse with it. Am I the only person who thinks it would be way better if the papers just reported things when something was actually going to happen? E.g “Fab signs for Barca for £50 million on a 5 year deal.” Now there would be an article worth reading. Instead, all we get is “Fab - should he stay or go?” etc etc. Do I really give a f*ck? Just tell me when the transfer happens and then I will be interested you morons.

The internet and media have changed massively in the last few years and throw Twitter into the mix and you have a high potential for a cocktail of massive bullsh*t and conjecture. Can we really believe anything anyone says these days? Let’s take Daniel Sturridge for example. He has been linked with about nearly all 92 teams in the football league by my estimate (slight exaggeration perhaps). I mean, this is clearly a farce, newspapers are clearly taking a wild stab in the dark in order to try and claim that they got the exclusive right. Is this really what journalism is about? I am sure a few of you will be saying I should just avoid all football news but for it’s nearly impossible these days and at most times its unavoidable.

The lack of a break has not been helped by Europe. Stoke and Fulham are playing some farmers in Iceland whilst still arranging pre season friendlies. What the hell? Why bother even having a break at the end of the season these days? For me, it’s just too much. In former years, the lack of any real action in the mid season break (not sexual) would mean that I could not wait for the new season to start, with new signings abound. I do not even feel as though the old season has finished. It’s still lingering, much like an old fart. Obviously, in a couple of months I will be back in the football groove and all will be fine and dandy. I just wish that the last couple of months could have been a more football-less affair. A bit like a game at the Brittania Stadium.

Sunil

Back in August 2011

We will be returning next season....for all you football lovers out there