Cher, Welsh Bastards and Not Quite Justice for the England XI

Sunday, 12 June 2016

Albania 0-1 Switzerland

So first up today was the titanic battle between Albania vs Switzerland which truth be told was probably a better game than most people had expected.  I missed the first half as I was out doing a bit of shopping for my holiday to the Euros. However, instead of the usual purchase of t-shirts and shorts I decided to buy a bullet proof vest and a hard helmet having witnessed the recent scenes in Marseilles.

The main talking point off the match was the fact that each side was fielding a brother from the same family for the first time in Championship history, Messrs Granit and Taulant Xhaka.

I will admit that was fairly interesting but of more interest to me was the fact that the winner was scored by none other than Cher!  Amazing stuff. Added to fine performances by Shakira and Chaka Khan and it looks like their tactic of fielding a line-up of female popstars was a major instrument in their ability to pick up a vital three points.

Bales 2 Slovakia 1

Great scenes in Bordeaux as a Gareth Inspired Bales beat Slovakia 2-1 thanks to a late winner from the magnificently named Hal Robson-Kanu.  I’m not sure if this guy is the bastard son of Bryan Robson and Nwankwo Kanu but if he continues to score late goals like that he will be held in the same regard as the aforementioned.Not the cleanest of strikes but I don't think any of the watching Welsh army would be bothered by that, as long as the ball hits the back of the onion bag that's all that matters

A thoroughly deserved win and a result which firmly puts the pressure on England against the Russians in Marseilles

Spurs/England 1 – 1 Russia

It was agony for England as a last gap equaliser from the Russians thwarted their hopes of securing their first ever winin the opening match of a European Championships. With the game looking like it was over, a towering header from Berezutski looped over Joe Hart to leave the England XI shattered.

Hodgson’s side started very firmly on the front foot with the triumvate of Alli, Rooney and Dier controlling the game in the middle of the pitch and with good width offered by the full backs Walker and Rose. Chances came and went with Lallana probably missing the best chance when he screwed the ball wide following a wonderful build up

However, the game remained goalless at half time and the Russians came out with added intensity after the break and pegged England back for the first 10 minutes or so. It was not long though before England resumed control with Rooney again driving the team forward and he was desperate unlucky when he was denied by a world class save.
With chances coming and going  it looked like it was going  to be one of those nights when up stepped Eric Dier in the 73rd minute to slam home a free kick from close range and to send the England fans into rapture.
Unknown to me, I was alerted by my friend Mark who had noticed a slightly unusual bit of commentary as both sides re-assembled for kick off

“JUSTICE FOR THE ENGLAND XI!!” proclaimed Clive Tydesley

Now I think we can all appreciate that Clive has said the odd daft thing in his time but most of us probably don’ t mind that and he is pretty popular due to his chummy/matey kind of commentary

Following this statement though I had to do some research to find out what the England team had done to deserve justice. I quickly went through the game in my mind and could not recall any bad penalty calls, incorrect red cards or dodgy offside decisions.

I then moved onto the team’s history together and could not find any wrongful imprisonment or accusations. So, it looks like Clive’s cry for justice was based on the fact that England had not taken their chances during the game….er…and that’s it. Not sure what you had been smoking Clive but probably best to leave such comments on the notepad in the future.

The game was followed by more unsavoury scenes in the stands which has meant that I will once again have to step up my efforts to protect myself for when I head to Marseilles in a couple of weeks.

Here is the latest item I have ordered, hopefully this will do the business! If you see me, give me a wave!

Enjoy today's games, I will be back later on tomorrow!


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