Love Island vs Euro 16..Part One?!?!

Monday, 20 June 2016

So after a couple of eventful weeks we have had our fair amount of thrills and spills, unfair dismissals, dodgy decisions and wild celebrations. That’s right people, I’m not talking about Euro 2016 but in fact the greatest show currently on TV at the moment….LOVE ISLAND 2016!

Apparently I am not the only mug at the moment watching this brilliant collection of freakshows so in their honour I have created a Euro/Love Island XI (formation yet to be decided)

It also gives me the chance to get a bit of partial nudity on the blog for you enjoyment, but as always in the interest of fairness I will be including both the girls and guys.


Terry vs Cristiano Ronaldo


Let’s start off with an easy one. A tattooed prima donna with a greasy hair, Terry recently threw a hissy fit after his girlfriend cut up a bit of his toast in the legendary “toast-gate" scandal as well as having the temerity to wear one of his t-shirts into bed.  How dare she?  As for Monsieur Ronaldo, he may not have as many tattoos but the greasy haired one still has the same pathetic attitude, crying like a baby when things aren’t going his way, refusing to deal with the Iceland draw in a respectful manner before having a nightmare of his own against Austria the other night. The only question is, who has the bigger six -pack? The correct answer is that NO ONE CARES.

Zara (Miss GB-but don’t tell anyone) vs Roy Hodgson

The now departed former Miss GB has been collectively getting on everyone’s tits for some time let’s face it, both housemates and views included. Fair to say she’s been severely lacking in banter and personality for pretty much the duration.  The best thing she did quite frankly was cop off with the scaffolder from Birmingham, at least it made things a bit more entertaining. The best fit I could find was Roy Hodgson who after a rather conservative start in the first game decided to throw caution to the wind against Wales. Thankfully he didn’t jump into bed with Chris Coleman and instead he showed he could be a bit of a crazy creature and threw on two attacking substitutes in Vardy and Sturridge. Keep it coming Roy (just not in that way).

Tom vs Robbie Savage

An annoying Welshman with a ridiculous hairstyle and a propensity to be a bit aggressive and lose it every now and then.  Let’s face it, we all know Tom is beating Sophie senseless off camera and Robbie Savage is probably doing the same to Martin Keown.

Nathan vs Slaven Bilic

The loveable rogue of the group, Nathan has stuck his colours firmly to the mast with Cara with an unwavering devotion.  A bit like Slaven and his love for Dimitri Payet. Don’t believe me? Take a look at this!

Kady vs Jamie Vardy

Young, brash, direct but ultimately pretty hard to ignore, Kady has been turning a few heads in Love Island. Ultimately though you always think she is maybe just five seconds away from saying something overtly inappropriate or acting in an immature way. I’m struggling with this one a bit so I going to go for Jamie Vardy purely for his legendary if slightly bizarre slogan of “Chat Shit, Get Banged” .Though if Kady said that, she would probably be getting a few offers of a different sort in return

Malin vs Glenn Hoddle

Malin, you heavenly mixture of Sri Lankan and Swedish goodness. Always there with a kind word and looking to diffuse every possible tense situation, what would we do without you.  Your calming presence is one of your best attributes. A bit like Glenn Hoddle with his reassured and astute comments, bringing a sense of control when Ian Wright and Slaven decide to start shouting and screaming in the ITV studio.  

Right, the eagle-eyed amongst you will have noticed that I have not actually completed a full XI. The reason is that this seemed a good idea at the time but its taking a longer time than expected and I need to go and sink a few cold ones before the big game tonight. However, I may continue this next time but like Love Island I like to leave things on a cliff hanger so stay tuned!


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