My Early Season Rants...

So, the wonderful Premier League is back in action.  I have been meaning to update the blog more regularly but those who know me well (or fairly well) will know that I have had a load more important stuff to deal with including the birth of my first child.  Anyhow, now that's out the way and the little blighter has been successfully baptised at the Shrine (aka the Hawthorns) I am now ready to begin this season in earnest. In traditional fashion, I will begin with a big ranting session

Brendan Rodgers & Liverpool 

The clowns from Merseyside are a complete and utter embarrassment and I took great privilege from the fact that they my beloved Baggies whooped them on the first day of the season.  Anyhow, a lot of people have been expressing sympathy to Mr Rodgers following the end of the transfer window but for me this is a little bit misguided.

Ok, I am not going to deny that Mr Rodgers is paying for KKKs excessive spending last season and obviously he got shafted when he let Carroll go on the basis that a replacement would be brought in.  However, it is pretty clear that when Rodgers came in he was not a fan of Carroll and did not want him in his team.  I am guessing this is because he did not fit into his footballing "philosophy". For me, this was incredibly arrogant and naive of Rodgers to take this approach. His mistake was stating that the club would not want a £35m man on the bench.  But the point is that Andy Carroll is not worth £35m.  However, he is a great target man who would fit in well at any mid-table club (i.e Liverpool).  For Rodgers to expect Suarez to lead the attack on his own and score enough goals was pretty naive, considering that his finishing can at times be as clinical as Savo Milosevic back in the day (if you don't know who he is then get off my Blog).  Anyway, for Rodgers to alienate the only other striker at the club was pretty silly in my book and ultimately he has been left embarassed after stating about 2 months ago there was no way he would leave on loan.

Then, we have the issue of what Rodgers spent his budget on.  To my calculation, he spent around £25m on two players, including a whopping £15m on Joe Allen.  The remainder was spent on that well known prolific striker Fabio Borini.  Granted, the guy Allen looks a decent buy.  But £15m? Do me a favour. If Rodgers is the visionary that Liverpool are hoping for then I sure as help his scouting system improves.  He spent all his budget on 2 players who worked with him at Swansea for Christ's sake!  This is the guy who wanted "total control" at the club and to be the main man.

Any knowledgeable person will know that Swansea had been a successful team because they had a very good structure set up. They have been playing fantastic football under Martinez, Sousa and Rodgers and now Laudrup.  I don't think it was anything specifically to do with Rodgers (I will happily hold my hands up if I am proved wrong)

I personally think it will all end in tears

Roy Hodgson

I love Woy, as most Baggies fans do.  But although not inflammatory, I thought his comments today but the current crop of English players in the Premiership was a bit misguided.  He indicated that due to the high presence of Europeans in the league, its harder for English players to break through.  I think this is a little outdated. It goes without saying that England's qualifying record has actually got much better since the influx of foreign players into the Premiership.  If the top quality foreign players were not here in our league then their places would be taken by the likes of Francis Benali, Mark Hateley and Steve Morrow.  I rest my case

AVB

Is it wrong to be jealous of his incredibly manly voice?

Garth Crooks 

Anyone who observes his team of the week will know that this pillock will simply choose his team on who scores a goal that weekend, without actually reviewing any performances from the players from less noted teams.  It upsets me that he is being paid to produce this garbage week after week.

Tw@tter

Is it just me or should all playing footballers be banned from ranting at their own team on this thing?  Massively unprofessional and childish.  If you are man enough to speak out against your team go and say it to the managers face rather than telling tales.  Yes, I am talking to you Mr Barton.

Sunil

Is Super Mario so often vilified because he is black?

A slightly controversial headline today regarding Monsieur Balotelli from yours truly in preparation for today's Euro 2012 final.  This is something which has been on my mind for a while but whether any of it is any true is entirely a different matter.

Anyway, firstly back to the game between the Germans and the assured Azzuri which was perhaps provided one of the most surprising results of the tournament so far.  I fancied the Germans strongly for this one and placed a massive £10 on the Germans to emerge successful, money which disappeared in the blink of any eye on the first half thanks to Super Mario's smashing double.

I actually missed the first half of this game as I was standing outside having beers whilst the game was on inside (don't ask) but I have seen the two marvellous goals since as well as Mario's lovely emotional celebration.

The Germans quite frankly didn't turn up (did they not realise I had money on them to win?) and in the 2nd half Italy probably should have added to their tally if it wasn't for some wayward finishing.

So back to Balotelli, who has so often been quoted as an enigma, a genius and a downright tool in equal measures.  Throughout the whole of last season, I am not sure if I ever read a newspaper article which gave him any praise.  Aside from the column inches dedicated to his off field antics (many of them actually him acting in a positive manner), it seemed that every mistake or error he made would be followed by tirades of criticism from football writers.  Last season, Balotelli did have a few misdemeanours but only had 2 sendings off, one against Arsenal and and one against Liverpool (debatable).  He did make a bad tackle on Alex Song and the Scott Parker stamp was later punished for (though this again wasn't clear in my view).

However, he did score a number of crucial goals in City's season, including decisive penalties in the last minutes of games, some outrageous finishes (off the shoulder vs Norwich) and of course not forgetting setting up the winning goal in the Premiership finale.

People talk about him being a bit mad, a bit eccentric but isn't all this blown out of proportion?  If you see the guy interviewed, he comes across as someone fairly humble in my eyes, no better shown then when he dedicated the winning goal to his own mother (gush).

Ok, his disciplinary record may not be brilliant but why does it attract so much attention?  Is his tackling any worse than say a Paul Scholes (often Andy Gray would simply laugh at his tackling rather than criticise)?  Has he ever done anything as ridiculous and disgusting as Carlos Tevez did last season?  Wasn't it funny how everyone praised Mancini's handling of the Tevez affair when initially everyone said that he should never be allowed to play for that team again?  Ah, but Tevez could be the difference between winning the League people eulogised.  It seems certain individuals have short memories when it comes to certain people.

In my view, I think a lot of people look at him as an angry black man and judge him based on this horrible stereotype. People often says how that in his performances he often looks lazy and uninterested.  So you could say that basically, he performs a bit like Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who in contrast doesn't attract anywhere near as much stick.  Balotelli's goalscoring record stands up to anyone else's at his young age let's face it.  He also had to deal with a torrent of racist abuse from his own Italian fans when he was at Inter Milan so in my view, the guy deserves massive amounts of credit, way more than he has been getting.  The guy is only 21 for crying out loud, cut the guy some slack.

Come Sunday, he could well become a national hero, but you can almost bet your bottom dollar that if he doesn't give a world beating performance on Sunday night, people will be queuing up to lay into him , left, right and centre.  And I wonder why that may be?

Sunil

Magnum Look Ronaldo Fails To Do His Maths..

So, another scintillating goal-fest in the Euros in the first Semi-Final between Spain and Portugal.  This was a real game for the purists, with attacking football at is finest, and chances being created nearly every minute in front of a capacity crowd who could barely control their excitement.

Ok, maybe not. In fact, aside from an interesting first half the game had about as much sparkle as a bottle of Blue Nun.  The game was so boring in fact, that I actually spent most of the game talking to my flatmate about an interesting Mathematics problem which had won me a bet at work.

The premise was that I had bet my colleague the princely sum of £5 that two people on my floor would have exactly the same birthday. Needless to say the poor mug accepted the challenge thinking that with only around 40 people, the probability would be next to zero.  Alas, he was merked in double quick time as it transpired that the girl sitting behind me actually had the same birthday as yours truly, 19th November (just in case you want to send a present later on in the year).  An easy way for all of you to make money really, all you need is around 40 people or more and you are nearly almost guaranteed to win it. If you are sad and want an explanation to this madness then let me know and I will send the answer to you via pen and paper.

Anyway, back to the game, and another man who failed to do his maths correctly.  That's right, the fake Ronaldo thought that by putting his name last on the shoot out list that he would help his team qualify for the final.  What was going through his mind I am not entirely sure.  Stupidity, arrogance or perhaps just pure selfishness?  Was he simply hoping to take all the glory?  Can he not count?  He may have been Portugal's best player but this idiotic decision showed a rather pathetic side to someone who was perhaps in contention for player of the tournament.

On another note, am I the only person getting annoyed with the ridiculous amount of preparation and posturing we see every time he takes a free kick?  I will confess that I don't see that much of La Liga these days so I am not sure how many set pieces he actually powers home, but it seems to be the amount of free kicks he misses by a mile seem to outweigh those that actually hit the onion bag.  Is he simply trying to imitate the Magnum look from Zoolander? Either way, its getting on my tit in a pretty big way

So, what of the Spanish?  More tedium and never-ending foreplay from our footballing hombres mean that they are resounding winners of "Cock-Tease of the Tournament."  They did try to start with a striker this time, but unfortunately for all of us, they started with the wrong one. The utterly hapless Negrido being hooked in the second half to be replaced by yet more midfielders.

Torres must be pretty mystified as to what's going on but Del Bosque's antics have got the Spanish to the final so I suppose he cannot really argue too much.  I just hope for everyone's sakes that they regain a cutting edge and attacking intent so that we can get the outstanding final to cap what in my view as been a disappointingly average tournament.

Sunil

Peerless Pirlo helps send England packing

If there is to be one enduring image of England's last throws in Euro 2012 then it would surely be that of the magnificent Andrea Pirlo brilliantly chipping home from 12 yards. This penalty helped to switch the momentum of the shoot out and the rest as we know is history...(and those who read my previous article will see I actually predicted a penalty win for the Italians, I hope you all cashed in like I did)

It was fitting that Pirlo was to have such a wonderful individual moment after his exceptional display helped ruthlessly expose the functional and rigid midfield which was set out by England.  Those who watched the game will know that Scott Parker was so knackered that he had to be substituted and whilst his partner in crime Steven Gerrard was suffering with cramp after playing only for 70 minutes.  In the meantime, 78 year old Pirlo (slight exaggeration I know) was trotting around the pitch for a full 2 hours with all the energy and gusto of a 16 year old who had just had his first shag.  Embarrassing for England?  Ever so slightly.

Italy deserved to win in my view, no doubt about it. Aside from an early 15 minute spell where England should have taken the lead (and also a couple of blatant penalty shouts) the Italians dominated from start to finish with enough chances to have finished the game off well before the final shoot out.

What was probably the most galling for England fans was the way in which Pirlo bossed the whole game in its entirerity.  In this well known average Italian side, everyone knew before kick off that by stifling him and denying him time and space, England would have had a great chance of winning the game.

However, the 4-4-2 which had served England so well so far proved to be a complete mismatch. But Italy also play 4-4-2 I hear you cry.  The difference is that over the years, when playing 4-4-2 the English players do not have the flexibility or fluidity to work this in their favour.

The Italians used a rather obvious tactic but one which worked for the whole game pretty much unopposed. With Pirlo dropping deep to win the ball (often with no one within 20 yards of him), the 2 wide Italian players would tuck in slightly, drawing in Milner (& Young with them).  With these 2 options nullified, Pirlo would simply get his head up and spray it wide to the wide full backs and the play would build from there. Simples.

With possession surrendered so easily, it was no wonder that English players were chasing shadows for the whole game.  Anyone who has played the game will know that once you have chased the ball for so long, by the time you have got it back, you are too knackered to be able to do anything with it.

If anyone dare look back at the full match then you can probably count on one hand the amount of times that Buffon kicked the ball long, whereas Hart seemed to be clobbering the ball forward at every opportunity (even before the Gypsy was on the pitch).  Is this not just basic football sense?

England's ball retention has been poor for what seems an eternity now but throughout this tournament have we ever seen them put together a concerted amount of possession football together?  No, me neither.

So where do England go from here?  To be fair to Roy, I think he did probably the best he could do in this tournament. When you know you only have Henderson on the bench as back up, you know you have problems within the squad.  As all good managers do , he concentrated on making England hard to beat, and the defence has been fairly solid.  England also won the group which was probably beyond expectations of most people.

So what does Roy need to do?  The problem of England technical ability in possession is something that wont be addressed for years to come.  Roys tactics will be interesting going forward.  As a WBA fan, I have a better knowledge than most.

To put it simply, Roy prefers 4-4-2, no one in their right mind cannot deny that. However,although WBA eventually secured a comfortable mid-table finish, there were a lot of angry fans earlier on in the season (me included). All fans knew at the time that our players were best suited to a fluid 4-5-1 formation but Roy insisted on forcing players into his favoured 4-4-2 which led to a massive shortage of goals and one of the worst home records in the Premiership.

However, as things looked bleak, a shift to 4-5-1 in our away game at Wolves resulted in a 5-1 spanking over those utter, utter c*nts.  From then on, the rest was history as we comfortably strolled to mid-table safety having reverted to the formation the fans all wanted to see.

So perhaps there is promise that Roy may perhaps become more flexible depending what players he has at his disposal. With most team in world football tending to flood the midfield this is something which would need to be experimented with sooner rather than later (a bit like Capello tried in his last few games).

Roy's also general way of thinking is that his teams rarely play on the front foot and take the initiative. In one game at home against Swansea last year we conceded 80% of possession!  Over the course of a season, Roy's pragmatism will generally pay off but will this approach suit tournament football and knockout competitions. Will he have the cojones to really go for it when it comes to crunch? That will have to remain to be seen.

I suppose fundamentally we have to ask, do England really have the players to challenge at the highest level . The current squad members would suggest not, with a transition period set to be on the horizon.  One player who continues to mystify is Wayne Rooney. Once the golden boy for England he has continued to disappoint. Whilst he continues to fire regularly for Man Utd, has he really shown enough to convince fans he can lead England to former glories?  He looked woefully out of touch in the Euros and his goal record at Man Utd has been a series of gluts and famines. Does he really have the consistency and quality to be classed a truly great player at international level?  The jury is well and truly out.

One positive thing people may argue is that the players had heart and courage throughout this tournament but that is something which slightly annoys me.  How do we measure heart and courage in football?  Is it simply running around, closing down the opposition , making goal-line clearances?  Should it not be a given that all teams try and do these things? Is courage and heart just another way of saying that a team are not very good with the ball? If thats the case, then England have it in abundance.

Or is courage having the nerve to accept the ball in tight situations, to try and beat a man, to demand possession when no else wants it,  or look the opposition in the eye, take a chipped penalty and say "I am going to dominate you in this game and whether you like it or not "(alas Pirlo). If its the latter, then England have a long, long way to go.

Sunil

Euro 2012 Quarter Final Round Up...

But Sunil, all of the quarter finals haven't been played yet I hear you cry.   Very true, but I have bugger all to do before today's game, I am feeling a bit hungover after getting in at 4am, the weather is $hit outside, and so I thought I would do it anyway.  A summary of the England defeat to Italy on penalties will follow later on during the week ;-)

Germany Vs Greece
Another Germany game, another handsome victory for Europe's economic powerhouse.  As if the state of the Greek economy wasn't bad enough, the Germans decided to rub the Greeks noses in it with a terrific performance to cruise into the semi-finals.

The Germans decided to send out the reserves for this one, which was a massive gamble. It certainly fooled me, who naively bet on Podolski to score at anytime (and he didn't even make it off the bench).  The result was no different than expected and aside from a mad 5 minutes after the break, the Germans were extremely accomplished throughout.

The Greeks as expected decided to park the bus but its fair to say their anti-football tactics were pretty terrible to watch.  Having somehow got through the group stages it would have been nice to have seem them be a bit forceful but instead they allowed wave after wave of German attack to slice through before the inevitable happened and Lahm smashed one from 25 yards.

At half time, it seemed just a question of how many but a classic breakaway allowed Jesus to bundle home the equaliser, before the Germans class showed and they hammered in a few more goals to give a more realistic look to the scoreline.

Not much controversy in this game and even less humour in this very boring match report so I am just going to chuck in some look-a-likes that I observed from this game to lighten the mood.

Jesus & Samaras

Gomez and Mr McFly (Back to the Future)

Ozil and Stewie Griffin

Spain Vs France
I watched this game in the pub on Saturday night but pretty much nearly fell asleep during the game if I am honest. Bizarre French tactics of trying to defend all game plus the inevitable Spanish procedure of passing the opposition to death led to an absolute coma of a match.  A bit like walking into a room and finding your parents having sex, tuning into this game is something which you probably never wished you had done (and something which would also need to be removed from the memory as soon as possible)

Portugal Vs Czech Republic
There are many mysteries in life. How does James Corden manage to get so much work?  Why do people still pay for porn?  Why do girls insist of f*cking with your mind at every opportunity?  And add to this list the greatest mystery of them all.  How does the fake Ronaldo get so much oil into his hair before kick off?  Seeing him in this game was like watching a greased up version of Clarke Kent and in true Superman style he came to rescue with a late winner to break Czech hearts and also meant that my bet for the Portugese to win the 2nd half came good (get in you beauty!).

The Portugese are slowly growing into this tournament although it is hard to see how they would fair if the opposition could find a way to snuff out Ronaldo.  My personal tip would be to man mark him with about 5 players because the rest of the team don't seem to be up much let's face it.

Sunil

Euro 2012 Group Stage Round Up...

That's right folks, after a year away from the limelight, I am back in your face like an unwanted comeback from Steps with my expert analysis on all things Euro 2012. I will admit that like the dancing popsters, it is very unlikely that I will be hitting the heights of the glory days but I promise that at least I haven't become as fat as the the blonde one.  A big shout out to the thousands of you who have been clamouring for my comeback (well one person actually), and I will try my hardest not to disappoint.  Alas, there will be no Roastwatch specials for you to feast your eyes upon but I will probably throw in the odd picture of a WAG or hottie to keep your interests heightened.

Those of you who know me fairly well will know that my lack of updates during possibly the most exciting Premier League of recent times was down to a combination of a massive lack of interest in all things football at the time and also the fact I don't have Sky TV/refuse to watch MOTD when WBA lose.  Alas, no such excuses this time as everything is on the old terrestrial.  However, I will confess that I have not seen all the games in these Euros due to work commitments so forgive me if my analysis is complete and utter bullcrap.

Here is my take on the football fest so far....

Disappointment of the Tournament

This without a doubt has to be The Dutch who have been sent packing without even scoring a measly point. A serious lack of firepower is what has cost them as well as some Keystone Kops defending.  Their display kind of reminds of Cheryl Cole (or just Cheryl as she is apparently now known). They look good, have all the attributes, promise plenty, have a lifetime of hype behind them but ultimately when they hit the main stage, their performances have been atrocious.  I would still stick it to them though (just Cheryl of course).

Worst Pundit of the Tournament
This category is a tie between Messrs Shearer and Carragher. Whilst Dixon, Hansen, Martinez and even Mr Roy Keane provide insightful, technical and expert analysis on each game Mr Shearer can only help but trot out cliché after cliché such as "You have to take your chances..it's a game of 2 halves."  Is this guy a white version of Garth Crooks?  A complete non entity of a pundit. As for Carragher the reason he is in this category is not because I disagree with his analysis but purely and simply because I cannot understand a single bloody word coming out his mouth.  I wish that Roy would stick one one him. And lets face it, he probably would enjoy it

The "You Should Retire Award"
Shay Given - Anyone else think that Harry Redknapp's wife might have performed better in goal?

Most Annoying Team of the Tournament

Whilst people w*nk themselves stupid over Spain's Tic-Tac football (or whatever its called) perhaps someone should remind them that the aim of the game is to actually put the ball in the net?  Watching them play with no striker was infuriating to say the least and it was a bit like watching a slightly more annoying version of Arsenal. Watching Spain play is like playing table football.  You know when you play with just those 3 guys at the top of the pitch who cant actually reach the penalty area because they are stuck there? Possession may be 9/10ths of the law but I would like to tell my hombres that the other 1/10th involves TRYING TO SCORE A GOAL.

Goal of the Tournament
There have been some humdingers so far with Robin Van Persie, Zlatan and Super Mario crashing in some fine efforts. However, for the sheer orgasmic footballing story it would have to be that Polish guy crashing in an equalizer against the Russians.  Word is, when he was younger he witnessed his parents murdered in cold blood and so this truly was a fairytale for the Polish captain. I could probably fabricate some shit joke to go with this but not even I would stoop lower than a snake's belly in this instance.

Team of the Tournament
In terms of results, this could potentially be England but in terms of all out swagger it would have to those pesky Germans.  Playing easy on the eye football combined with a terrific work rate, they have to be tournament favourites, and in Mario Gomes they possess a true matchwinner.  Uwe Rosler would be proud

A few other observations
1) Each time a goal is scored the tannoy booms out Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes. Whilst I cannot help but hum along, am I the only person who thinks that the Chase the Sun by Planet Funk would be a much better song? Or have I just been watching too much darts??!? (link below)

Planet Funk - Chase the Sun

2) Does everyone remember when South Africa scored in the World Cup and they did that really awesome celebration to open the tournament/ (SA Celebration).?  Where the bloody hell is the imagination these days? All this hugging and fist pumping is very nice but its hardly original is it?  Where are the choreographed dance routines? The Dentist's Chair?  Come on guys, sort it out

3) What the f*ck is going on with Rooney's hair?  When I flicked on the Ukraine game I though Frankie Howard had been brought back from the dead. Madness.

4) I have to say that one of the major pluses of having the game in Polkraine is that if there is not much action happening on the pitch then the camera swiftly pans to the lovely ladies in the crowd, and my word (this one is for you Ray Wilkins), some of those Poles and Ukranians have unbelievable tekkers.  Keep up the good work

5) Can someone please explain to me what those officials in the penalty box are actually doing?  They never make decisions such as penalties/goal-line issues which affect the game and what the bloody hell are they holding in their hands? Telescopes?  Magic Wands? Or is just something used for S & M purposes. Either way, whatever they are meant to be doing, they are clearly pointless so please can you remove them from the football brain like the tumour that they are. A thank you.

Sunil

Would 'Arry Simply Be The New Kevin Keegan?

The hysteria surrounding the England job is quite simply laughable, mainly because in my view, whoever you put in charge of the national team, the current set up and set of players does not stand a prayer of even getting close to winning a tournament in the near future.

Anyway, rather unsurprisingly, following the jury's decision to find Redknapp guilty of tax evasion, combined with the sudden resignation of Don Fabio, the Droopy looking one has found himself firmly at the front of the queue for the England job perhaps sooner than expected.

The clamour for an English manager has gathered pace with certain high profile football personalities saying that the other top nations all have a manager from their own country, so why don't England?  To some extent I agree with this but while there is no law stating that you have to have an English manager I am unsure as to why anyone would potentially want to cut off their nose to spite their face?  I have even heard it mentioned in certain quarters that people would rather fail with an English manager then have limited experience with a foreign one.

So with all sections of the media having come to the conclusion that 'arry is the best man for the job out of the people currently available....what star credentials does he have?

The first thing people mention is that Harry has been successful wherever he has managed.  Taking a bird's eye view of things, this would not seem ridiculous. He took Pompey from near relegation to League 2 to the Premiership, he had another successful spell later there after a struggle at Southampton and he then rescued Spurs from the bottom 4 before taking them into the Champions League.  Good work I am sure you would all agree.

However, lets be honest, each of these jobs has involved spending a considerable wodge of money and overhauling squads completely.  This of course is not Harry's fault, but it would cast doubt on the skill required from a manager of a national team, which is to mould the players you have into a winning side, with obviously no scope for transfers etc.  Would this really suit the sort of role that Harry has implemented at each of the clubs he has managed?

Capello had an exemplary record as a domestic manager but flipping that approach to international level was a great struggle despite as shown in the last World Cup (despite his excellent qualifying record)

A lot has been made of Harry's tactical ability (or lack of). All players and managers insist that he knows his football inside out, and as only a fan and not a participant of the game this is something I don't have the best vantage point on.  However, I have always been interested in hearing how players say that Redknapp doesn't really bother with tactics, team shape etc and pretty much just keeps things simple.  Whilst this may appear to be working at Spurs, is this rather simple approach likely to work at the highest level? Negotiating through a tournament's knockout stages will surely require a more pragmatic approach?

Obviously, no one will begrudge Redknapp the decision to accept the job, which we all know is inevitable but I do consider it rather naive that no one appears to have really been considering other candidates, especially within the media and ex-professionals. Are they merely taking a myopic view because he is English and because they want an English manager that he therefore fits the bill? Do they remember the horrendous spell of  certain Sctheve McClaren?

For me, the similarities to a certain Mr Keegan are all too familiar.  The permed one had success at Fulham, Newcastle and Man City and produced some delightful attacking football (backed by Al Fayed and also Man City's millions). Keegan would himself admit that he was also a motivator rather than a tactician and this    stance meant that his position as England manager unravelled before him and ended with that rainy day at Wembley which left Keegan admitting he was not good enough to manage at the highest level.  I am going to stick my neck on the line and say that I think the same could be happening after the Euros in the summer...

Sunil


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRZTna7tRHk

Top 10 Chelsea Moments of the Year So Far...

Bit bored, so here are my top 10 moments of Chelsea's season this year. Some real crackers in here

1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)

Thank you very much

Sunil

Things I Miss About Football..

It seems that a lot of people are not talking about football these days.  Whether it be racism, gayism (ok not sure if that's an actual word) or other outrageous incidents not even related to the beautiful game.  Here are a few things which I think should be brought back/or removed to help bring the English game back to the glory days of the 90s.

1) The Pink Paper - This is one for people who are over the age of 25 mainly and what used to be the highlight of my Saturday night.  Before the advent of the internet and Sky TV the quickest way to get the match report (apart from CEEFAX) was this evening paper which would publish your local teams report almost 2 hours after full time.  Incroyable!  The paper would also provide a fixture list and the results so far as well as the tables at the end of the day.  All for about 30p. What more could you want? You can shove BBC live text commentary up your a*se!

2) Confetti - I may be wrong on this one but in my experience not many  English fans still tear up bits of paper at the top of the stand and chuck them into the air as the players emerge from the kick off.  A wonderful opening match ritual

3) Scrap hand shakes for good - Before players would emerge from the tunnel and charge towards their half of the pitch before the obligatory chants from the crowd to get the game going.  Now thanks to the powers that be we have to watch the players all massaging each others hands in what is quite simply a pointless exercise.  Why have player handshakes when a they might be elbowing, stamping or racially abusing each other later on? Answers on a postcard please

4) Keep injury time a secret - Before recent times we never knew how much injury time there was at a game heading into the final minutes.  Why did I prefer this you may ask?  Anyone who experienced hanging on 1 minute from the end to a single goal lead would simply be sh*tting themselves at this point as they had no idea how long was left. Thousands of people would be whistling/screaming for the ref to blow up creating an almighty crescendo. This made the feeling when the whistle went even more glorious.  Now you can simply sit in comfort thinking "only one minute to go...". BORING

5) Teams just going all out to win  - This is an obvious one but the cost of losing is so great financially that teams now just daren't go all out to win and instead many are force to try not to lose.  In the old days, everyone just used to go for it, even if it meant taking a pasting.

Can anyone else think of anything that they really miss about football....?

Sunil

Bonkers Barton Has Crossed The Line

Did you know that the name Joey Barton is an anagram of the word "Wanker"?  I know, it took me a while to figure it out as well.  Anyway, I think its fair to say that I have long considered that this odius character should have been banished from the footballing world and his latest actions have done nothing to alter my opinion.

The moustached midfielder has recently come out using his Twitter account (or should that be Tw@tter?) to lay into recently sacked Neil Warnock.  Firstly, I would like to re-iterate that I don't really like Warnock either, mainly because of his undoubted role in the Battle of Brammall Lane. (link here for those are are unaware of this).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZDsjY3uFdE

Another interesting fact for you is that Colin Wanker is an anagram of Neil Warnock, hence people who disliking him being affectionately calling him "Colin"

Anyway, enough of this idotic wordplay (this isn't Countdown after all) and back down to my latest rant which is that Joey Barton has completely overstepped the line and I have massive sympathy with my old pal Colin for a change.

Having watched footballers over years, I have noticed that there appears to be a sort of unspoken rule in football that a manager will never pick on one player in public. This happens 99.9% of the time in football , lets be honest.  Whether the manager then gives the player a bollocking behind closed doors is another matter, but they almost always support their public no matter how blatant the offence is.

This is why over the years we have had to put up with Wenger proclaiming he "didn't see it", Fergie blaming everyone from the groundsman to the referee and the likes of Dalglish supporting a player even when he commits a criminal offence in front of thousands.  The one thing these managers will never be seen to be doing is lambasting their player in public. This is something which has always been kept "in house." Managers almost definitely never air their dirty laundry in public.

With regards to Barton, he was picked up in the summer by Warnock when pretty much no one else would touch him with a barge pole and has been well supported by his manager ever since. For those who don't remember, Barton  is a convicted criminal and generally an all round bad egg. 

A prime example of  Warnock's support was a couple of weeks ago when Barton received a dubious red card and was backed by his manager to the hilt.

Which makes it more staggering to hear Barton's response to the Warnock's sacking .  Whilst his comments were not direct its pretty obvious that he was just basically slagging off Neil Warnock's managerial prowess and then had the irony to tell him to "look in the mirror".  Ha!  That's a bit like Jordan criticising Jodie Marsh for not wearing enough clothes!

There was absolutely no need for Barton to launch into this tirade and even if he did not rate Warnock's managment style the least he could have done was keep scthum to show some respect for the fact that Warnock both signed and has always backed him.

Neil Warnock has taken QPR from the Championship to the Premier League and had them outside the relegation zone when he was fired.  In the meantime, what has Barton contributed to football in in its entireity, let alone at QPR? Apart from give utterly useless opinions on Twitter, average performances week after week and generally just annoying all those around him?

Meanwhile, Warnock has shown a bit of grace and stated that he wont be getting involved in any arguments or discussions over this issue despite the fact he probably thinks deep down that Barton is a complete and utter C*nt ,which I think will leave everyone in no doubt as to who the real villain in this piece really is.

Sunil

Things Currently Annoying Me In Football....

Its been a while since I have posted anything remotely interesting so here is brief summary with all things that are annoying me in football these days

Roberto Mancini 

I have a lot of respect for Roberto for the following reasons;

1)  He was a brilliant striker
2)  He brought madcap Mario Balotelli to England
3)  No matter what the weather or situation he looks so suave in that scarf and coat you just cant help but admire his style (in a non homosexual way : but if you look at him that way thats no problem)

However, his recent whinge that he would struggle to fill his subs bench for the Man Utd game was simply laughable.  The guy has spent over £350m on his squad for crying out loud. He even has the luxury of signing players like Owen Hargreaves even though he has no intention of playing him.  What does he want us to do, have a quick whip round the office to help him out?  Simply ridiculous

Add to this his criticism of Wayne Rooney's card waving and it seems like Mancini is slightly losing the plot. Cast your mind back to the Man City Vs Liverpool game Roberto. Pot, kettle and black (or should that be N*grita?)

Here is a link to Mancini's moan about his squad depth

http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/news/Manchester-City-may-be-unable-fill-subs-bench-against-Manchester-United-as-so-many-players-are-out-article849586.html

One Footed Players

I am pretty sure that everyone will agree that football players are overpaid in a massive fashion.  However, one thing that infuriates me is that approximately 99% of players are incredibly rubbish on their other foot.  I mean, these guys have all week to train and none of them can be bothered to put in the extra 10% to practice with their crap leg.  I get fed up of seeing the likes of Stewart Downing or even my beloved Chris Brunt running halfway across the pitch because they cannot shift the ball sideways with their other foot or make a 5 yard pass with their right foot.  Here's some advice. Get practicising on the other foot and you may start becoming a better player!  Perhaps Downing might actually hit the target on the pitch rather than in real life (muhahaha-not condoning any sort of physical assault whatsoever)

The Return of Old Players

First it was Thierry, then it was Scholesy? When will the madness of these managers stop?  Are they going to bring back Eric Cantona and Tony Adams next? How about Steve Ogrizovic?  Henry recently had a statue built of him at Highbury and that will probably be just as mobile as Mr Henry's own performances in the next few weeks.  Farcical

Ray Wilkins

I will personally pay for a taxi for this man to the QPR job if it means getting him off my TV Screen.  MY WORD!

Commentators blaming Johnny Foreigner

Why oh why when we see a player diving or waving an imaginary card is it immediately stated that "people didn't do that in England before foreigners came over."  This lazy commentary has been bleated for years.  If people actually watched football in the 1970s and players such as Francis Lee, then people would realise that sort of behaviour has been going on long before the arrival of Johnny Foreigner.  Let's just accept that all players do it.  Do some You-Tubing of Joe Cole , Steven Gerrard and various other English folks to get the picture.

Sunil