Cult Heroes.....Djimi Traore

Monday, 3 March 2008

I was chatting to my friend Saran the other day when a conversation cropped up about this month's Goal of the Month competition. It was in reference to Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink's screamer against Wolves in the FA Cup, where he rolled back the years with a sublime dummy. "That guy is a legend" we both agreed.

That got me thinking of how many other legendary Jimmy's there were. Jimmy Bullard, a constant figure of fun, Jim Rosenthal, the brilliant ITV presenter and of course Jim "here is what you could have won " Bowen, former presenter of Bullseye.

Below is a video of the hilarious Bullard

Anyway, as much as a legend that Jimmy Bullard is, there is truly one Jimmy that can hold Cult Hero status, and that man is , you guessed it, Jimmy with a D, Djimi Traore.

Traore is one of life's great conundrums. A bit like Brigitte Nielsen, you sometimes wonder what on earth they were put on this planet for, but ultimately you can't take your eyes of them. Djimi was signed by Monsieur Houllier during his time on Merseyside for a mere £500,000.

Djimi didn't really flourish during this time and found his first team chances fairly limited and when he did play he hardly inspired any sort of confidence, defending with all the nouse of a 18 year old smacked off his tits on heroine.

Things got that bad that Everton nearly signed him during Houllier's last season in charge, but thankfully for Liverpool fans, this move didn't materialise. The lowest point in Traore's ill fated career was in the FA Cup Clash against Burnley where he somehow managed to perform the Zidane drag back in spectacular fashion. Unfortunately for him, it was in his own 6 yard box and the hilarious own goal sent Liverpool tumbling out the cup. The words Bambi on Ice don't come even close in trying to describe the debacle.

However, like all Cult Heroes, Djimi showed that he had the cojones when it mattered and months later performed heroically in the Champions League Victory against Milan in Istanbul. His goal-line clearance from Sheva just made you know at the time that it was destined to be Liverpool's night. So Traore has now gone down in history as possibly the worst ever player ever to win a Champions League Medal. However, my friend Saran has confirmed that his honour falls to David May, which I don't think many people can really argue with.

His ineptiude is probably best summed by this chant spawned by the Kop to the tune of The Jacksons and "Blame It On The Boogie"

Dont blame it on Hamann
Dont blame it on Biscan
Dont blame it on Finnan.

Blame it on Traore!

He just cant,he just cant, he just cant control his feet!

Here is a clip of Djimi's only Liverpool goal, just to show that he can actually play a bit.

Djimi Traore....WE SALUTE YOU!


1 Responses:

Anonymous Says:

Djimi is a legend amongst legends, I cant imagine a more ridiculous footballer, and his performance in the champions league puts him amongst the all time greats.