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My Weekend Football Rants......

Monday, 3 March 2008


Have Arsenal blown it?

After the most ludicrously crass and irritating Eduardo(RIP) saga, Gallas' wetting his pampers with his childish petulant strop and Man Utd literally breathing down Arsenals necks, you have to start wondering whether Arsenal's "kids" can hold their nerve and win the title. From my observations they were very fortunate to win the match against Villa and the animosity between Adebayor and Bentdner is clear for everyone to see. Wenger believes that they don't need to get along to coexist in the side, and he probably has a point, but we all know how well a strike partnership can work when you are more than just friends, just ask Dwight and Andy. Man Utd have as much experience in the position as Jenna Jameson has doing doggy style, so this probably makes them the favourites, and lets not forget Chelsea who are a footballing cyborg motoring through all their games with no remorse and care for the women and children of this world. Its going to be tighter than a.............. I think ill just stop there with the dirty analogies.

Hypocrisy?

Where will it end? Some Villa fans were removed from the Emirates for singing songs aimed at Eduardo. Personally I think its awful, but can we have some consistency from Arsenal fans who have rung me up to complain about all this over the weekend. Was it not Arsenal fans singing songs about Auschwitz in recent games? Or haven't missed the point that the apparent murder of one footballer on the pitch is worse than the deaths of 6 million Jews? Lets have some perspective please.

Is there anything more hilarious than the whole Newcastle debacle?

As we cleverly and expertly predicted(not exactly rocket science), Newcastle are an absolute and utter shambles of a team at the moment under the leadership of teh great King Kev. Keegan is not necessarily to blame, he has inherited a mangled squad, which is a Frankenstein-esque creation of Mike Ashley and Big Sam. The defence is non existent, just how much space was Matt Derbyshire afforded for his last minute winner? What more needs to be said about Michael "I want to win trophies" Owen? His career has taken a spectacular nose dive and it couldn't have happened to a nicer man. Hopefully he can reignite his career as the best striker in the championship. Newcastle probably need to win 3 more games to be safe, and reach that magical 40 points mark, it probably will happen, but the hilarity of seeing them even in contention of relegation after seeing some people i know drop their life savings on Newcastle to be the top team outside of the top 4 is simply priceless. Just to top it off, the Pedersen and Bai altercation was probably the pinnacle of my weekend TV viewing, simply hilarious. Who needs only fools and horses when you can just sit in St James park on a Saturday afternoon.

So, what was with the emotional Tim Cahill you might ask?

well, Tim Cahill's brother was jailed for 6 years for partially blinding someone, which was the reason for the handcuffs celebration and crying when he scored. Misguided? maybe. But surely footballers are human, they have emotions too, so lets give the guy a break. Some of the typical overreacting to the incident has been a little bit OTT.

Who will get 4th spot?

Everton look good, this is a fact that cant be denied. The Yak is in sparkling form at the moment and they have a decent squad too. Villa look decent also and were unlucky not to win at the Emirates on the weekend, whilst Liverpool are just starting to pick up some form after a truly awful premiership season. Lets get one thing straight, Everton will not be playing champions league football next year, and if they did they would simply embarrass the nation like they did last time. The people that believe they will make that 4th spot are the ones who would love to see Liverpool out of the competition they always seem to do well in. All my mathematical modelling calculations have led to the same outcome, which has Liverpool in 4th and Everton in 5th, lol. Well I hope I'm right and these comments don't come back to haunt me. If you have time on your hands head over to the BBC game predictor thing, yo will probably come out with the same outcome.

Frank Lampard.

Why do all the west ham fans love Joe Cole but hate Frank Lampard? Well I think its quite simple really. One is a very talented and humble footballer whilst the other is an overweight lump of uselessness, yes I know im being harsh, but hey thats my prerogative. Nothing gave me more glee than to see him get sent off for his stupid petulant reaction to Boa Morte, although seeing mouth to Boa Morte that "You're a C*nt" was quite hilarious.

Has Avram grown some balls or has Ten Cate completely taken over now at Chelsea?

Leaving out 2 of the world's best players takes some guile, I don't think many teams in world football could afford to drop Essien and Drobga. Maybe he is saving them for the champions league, using a rotation system that only one man in the Premiership seems to get vilified for. Hmmmmm

When will they ban Makalele for life?

His tackle on Faubert was simply horrifying, life threatening, riot inducing and may even have been the cause of the black death. He could have sent him to the morgue to lay in rest with Eduardo. Will justice prevail?

Van Persie or Van Porcelain?

Apparently this man isn't actually dead and could feature against Milan, can anyone confirm this? If he is fit, how long until he's broken again?

How well has Al Fayed done?

He has almost turned Fulham into the Man united of the south. Good work man, now enjoy the championship.

My Thoughts On Teddy Sheringham.

Great payer who had a great career, and was fortunate enough to be banging 20 yr olds when he was in his 40s, probably the best headerer(sic?) of the ball in recent times, simply superb. Unfortunately I take back all my praise for him because he is an utter bellend, and anyone who has met him in real life like I have, will agree with me.

Will Fergie ever stop Felating Benzema?

We know what you are up to Sir Alex, please stop it, its not amusing and hes only 20 years old.

6 Responses to "My Weekend Football Rants......"

Valderrama's Jockstrap Says:

Wait, so Cahill's just emotional, but Gallas is petulant and a baby? I know Gallas was a bit OTT but you don't seem to be willing to give much on that.

And I've never heard Auschwitz songs at the Emirates. Besides, I don't think anyone who would have complained about the Eduardo songs would condone the gassing ones or anything like that.

Sunil Says:

I'm with Kofi on this one, I think there is a difference between a personal celebration and acting like a baby in front of your whole team when you are meant to be Captain and leading by example.

Thats why you are the captain in the first place

Sunil Says:

I'm with Kofi on this one, I think there is a difference between a personal celebration and acting like a baby in front of your whole team when you are meant to be Captain and leading by example.

Thats why you are the captain in the first place

Anonymous Says:

Cahill did nothing more than make a gesture for his brother. Gallas sat on the ground and cried like a schoolgirl who has just learned there is no Santa Claus. Big difference.

Fwembt

Anonymous Says:

lol, im sorry but valderrama you know full well that Gallas' strop was totally different to a player making a gesture to his locked up brother.

The whole Eduardo thing just shows how ridiculous arsenal fans truly are, did someone actually die?

Wenger is a twat who never ceases to amaze me, when arsenal were mediocre for the past few seasons we didnt hear a peep out of him a bit of success and suddenly they become unbearable again.

Valderrama's Jockstrap Says:

I agree with you all that what Gallas did was petulant and a poor show, but I didn't deny that. My point was that Cahill was a pussy if he was crying when he celebrated his goal, and would normally get the piss ripped put of him. Instead its alright cause he showed some emotion.

Gallas had spent the week consoling Bacary Sagna who's brother had died unexpectedly. He had then seen one of his teammates get his leg broken in two. Following all of that he had then seen his team draw the game due to a potentially dodgy decision in the last seconds of a tense game. Its not meant to be a sob story, but what I'm getting it is...hey, the guy showed some emotion when there was a lot going on. Shit happens.

But saying all that whilst I understand his reasons I do still he should have sucked it and been more of a captain. But I do think some of the reaction to it has been as OTT as his own.

As to the whole Eduardo thing, I'm not quite sure why people think Arsenal fans are acting as if he died. I personally am sad for one of our players being injured, and wish him well. If others are taking that too far and 'grieving' then it seems to me to be a minority. But I don't see why that should really bother other fans. If a player on your team got his leg cracked like you'd all think that's a bitch, good luck to him getting back, and maybe even sing his name at a game. Haven't we been saying recently how crap supporters are for not connecting with players and vice versa?

Maybe its because of all the death threat bollocks, but I think that's been blown well out of proportion. Most of it seems to be sad internet warriors blowing off steam, and croatian fans who had a decent chance at the Euro's before this.

As to Wenger pissing people off...I could care less. We constantly listen to Alex Ferguson spouting shit and its just the way it is. Besides the reason you hear more than when we're not competing is because the media is more interested in the team and has papers to sell. I don't many managers actually arrange press conferences to give their views on the footballing world.

Oh well...that's my rant over. Personally I think the team is in the middle of probably choking, but I don't think its the team's mentality that's the problem, but not having a strong enough squad. Also Man U are just a much much better team than us at the moment. For the money we've spent (rightly or wrongly) we're not doing to bad for ourselves, and if we don't win it, which I've always doubted we will, then we've had a good season and a much better one than was predicted by everyone. And if we do win it y'all can kiss my arse!! :-)