Ups & Downs...

A few weeks ago, I posted an article saying that I was disillusioned with football and that I had lost all faith in it. Well fast forward a few weeks and its safe to say that I am back in love with The Beautiful Game. And of course, this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that my team has a great chance of winning the FA Cup ;-) . Here are the latest Premiership and FA Cup Ups & Downs.

Going Up

Barnsley
Although many people could argue that Barnsley's win over Liverpool was slightly fortunate, I don't think that anybody who witness Saturday's performance could argue that they ran out worthy winners against Chelski. Well, unless they are Alex Ferguson and Carlos Queiroz, but we will come back to that later.

Using a simple tactic of whacking the ball up to Odejayi of Barnsley, Avram Grant was hopelessly outwitted by his Barnsley counterpart Simon Davey as the Championship side turned over last season's winners. I am not entirely sure why Odejayi is not playing basketball rather than football but his massive presence made sure that Terry and Riccy C had one of their worst experiences in recent years as they were bullied off the ball left, right and centre.

Barnsley created plenty of chances and there was some heroic defending in the final stages. If the CIA needs any new bodyguards then perhaps they should employ the whole Barnsley team because these guys would have thrown themselves in front of a speeding bullet if they had to.

I don't think anyone can argue that these guys deserve to win the Cup after knocking out two of the big 4 in such spectacular fashion.

Portsmouth
Going to Old Trafford is never easy and Pompey had to ride their luck in sometimes ridiculous circumstances before securing a win which suggests that their name might just be on the cup this year.

How on earth Distin cleared that ball of the line I am not entirely sure and the winner was created in rather comical fashion as Rooney and Anderson were left as the last 2 defenders in an attempt to stop Baros breaking clear. Sulley Muntari showed that his balls were as big as the power of his shot as he lashed the ball past Rio Ferdinand to hand Pompey victory. I can think of many places that Rio would rather have been then standing in the line of fire of Muntari, with the obvious contender him being on Facebook organising one of his legendary Roast Parties. He may as well have been actually as Muntari ripped the ball past him to silence Old Trafford.

West Brom
The final scoreline of 5-1 was a touch flattering but don't write of the Baggies for the Cup this year. Though their defence is suspect to stay the least, they have awesome goalpower as demonstrates at the Memorial Ground. Ishmael Miller was the pick of the players for the Baggies with an excellent hat-trick. West Brom will be hoping for a better trip to Wembley than last time where they lost to Derby in the play off final. How the fuck they lost that day is one of life's greatest mysteries along with who shot JFK and how on earth Michael Jackson's kids are white. Answers on a postcard please.

Torres and Gerrard
I think that these two might have some kind of Dwight and Andy thing going on because the way they combined against Newcastle was simply irresistable. Many people say that Liverpool used to be a one man team but now they are definitely a two man team as the Torres-Gerrard axis tore Newcastle to shreds. The Reds are in fine fettle at the moment as they continue to steam forward with their traditional excellent form after Christmas. Who knows, perhaps its something to do with that much criticised rotation policy...?

Going Down

Alex Ferguson and Carlos Querioz
I have generally hidden my disgust at all things Manchester United in recent seasons, whether it be the ridiculous timekeeping, the amount of filthy winners they used to get back in the day or Ferguson's constant whinging and moaning. However, my feelings have died down in recent years as a result of Fergie mellowing out and United being one of the best footballing sides in the country. That and the fact I have a load of their players in my Dream Team.

Anyway, Ferguson and Querioz brought back memories of the good old days with their quite ridiculous criticism of the referee Martin Atkinson during Saturday's defeat against Portsmouth. As far as I could see, the ref only got two things wrong on Saturday. One was not awarding Ronaldo a penno after being body checked by Distin. The only other error I could see that he made was possibly not sending off Wayne Rooney after he launched himself at Nico Kranjcar (who was to have the last laugh). For a hysteric Querioz to say that the referee should himself have been sent off was simply hilarious, but for him to say that Pompey's Diarra's tackling was akin to Taylor's leg breaker on Eduardo was simply disgraceful. Lets get some perspective here, Eduardo nearly lost his foot whilst Ronaldo was simply pushed over a few times and the only thing he would have got damaged was his haircut. (talking of which, what exactly does he put in there? Fergie's spunk?).

All in all it was hilarious to see Man Utd blow a catlaogue of chances and then end up with Rio Ferdinand getting merked by Sulley Muntari in the dying minutes.

Middlesborough
When your own manager admits that you froze on the big occasion at home against a team in the lower half of the Championship then you know that you have balls like cashew buts. Boro were outlclassed in every department as they were embarrassed in front of their own support and live on National Television. The last time I saw a performance that bad was when I watched John Travolta in Battlestar Galactica (just for the record, I didn't actually see that film , but you get the gist).

Wigan's Pitch
Allowing a town to play rugby and football on the same pitch? In this day and age? The same for both sides it may be but this pitch could be the deciding factor in Wigan staying up as it really is a leveller of prodigious proportions.

West Ham and Alan Curbishley
Losing 4-0 in three successive games is pretty shambolic no matter who the opposition as the Hammers remain firmly lodged in mid-table. Alan Curbishley looks set to continue his not so envious record of having a terrible 2nd half of the season whichever his club may be at. Perhaps they should get 2 managers, one for each half of the season. Worse still was the sight of Dean Ashton looking like Mido up front. i.e fat, slow and rubbish

Avram Grant
For Avram Grant read Ronaldo and Thierry Henry i.e big game bottler. The Israeli looks like a dead man walking at the moment (literally) and surely the writing is on the wall. His team looked disinterested, lacking fight (unless Terry is rucking with Ten Cate) and surprisingly short on quality as Luke Steele didn't have to make save of note during the whole game. I think its fair to say that we won't be seeing this miserable fucker on our screens next year. Jose must be loving it at the moment.

Mark Bright
Is this guy Garth Crooks in disguise? Get this clown off the TV. Another waste of licence money methinks.

Phil Bardsley

A truly disgusting tackle to prove that 90% of footballers are as thick as shit after everything that has happened in recent weeks. How he didn't break Fernandes' leg is a mystery really.

Sunil