Premiership Ups & Downs...

Monday, 21 January 2008

Going UpJoleon Lescott

He may look like a Klingon who was involved in a nasty car accident but the defender has been in outstanding form this season and continued his fine scoring form to help Everton put the pressure on Liverpool for that coveted fourth spot.

Joe Hart

Get this kid in the England squad. Now. Another great display from the former Shrewsbury shot stopper to help secure a lucky point for Manchester City.

Touchline Antics

Alex Ferguson's "fist of fury" was one of the highlights of the weekend after his United side finally overcame Reading at the Madejksi. I am not enturely sure who this signal was aimed but hopefully it wasn't at the family enclosure or else he may be in a bit of trouble with the FA.

Not to be outdone, Mark Hughes and Gareth Southgate almost came to blows at Ewood Park after Hughes cheekily threw the ball at a prone Jeremie Aliadiere. The former players were nose to nose at one point(due to Southgates enormous hooter). However, Sparky was scared to death after looking at Southgate's ugly mug and thankfully saw the light and stepped away from the scene.

Good to see things are back on the up after the departure of the Special One. I don't think that Avram will be getting involved in any of these misdemeanours though, do you?

Robbie Keane

Despite having possibly the worst celebration in football, credit to the Irishman for notching his 100th goal for Tottenham Hotspur. If he carries on at this rate, the mid-table beckons. Still laughable how Spurs were touted as Champions League Challengers at the beginning of the season really.


Another guy with a terrible celebration but a great hat-trick never-the-less. He looks slightly like the Candyman and Derby will be having nightmares about this season full stop.


This guy is carrying the Arsenal front line at the moment. Although anyone could score against Fulham you can only beat whats in front of you.

Going Down

Newcastle United

After the Kevin Keegan hype machine reached match day most Geordie fans probably wished they had stayed at home after this shocking goal-less drawer against the Trotters. The irony is, if Big Sam had got this result, there probably would have been a pitch invasion, but because Keegan is in charge, the Geordie fans were still doing cartwheels after the game. Tossers

Titus Bramble

Titus may have been dreaming of an England call up after his scorcher against Liverpool but any such hopes were dashed after his howler helped tee up Andy Johnson to set Everton on the way to victory. Maybe there was a bit too much love there with the whole A-team thing going on as Bramble merked himself on a dogs dinner of a pitch at the JJB.

The guys on MOTD felt so bad for Bramble that they concocted a video showing how Titus actually did some half decent defending during the game. I nearly puked at the sentimental montage. Back to the drawing board for On the Bench's favourite figure of fun.


With only 2 relegation spots to fill, Fulham are making a strong claim to go down. They have less up top than Keira Knightley and have a defence like a sieve. In other words, they have Delhi Belly, problems at both ends. I personally wouldnt give a monkeys if they go down, they are only up there cos of the money and their space could easily be filled by a proper team(not sure what that actually means but you get the logic)


I am pretty sure that Kofi will be close to tears right now so I will keep this brief. I didn't watch the game but when you get merked by Marlon Harewood, one of the worst strikers in the Premiership merely two weeks after getting ripped by Titus Bramble, then you know you are in trouble.

Rafa Benitez used all his tactical nous to leave matchwinners Babel and Crouch on the bench and instead persisted with Kewell and Kuyt. Rafa only decided to bring on the two subs until relatively late in the game and managed to rescue a point for his beleagured side who are now a massive 14 points off the top of the league. Only Newcastle have saved Liverpool from being the biggest laughing stock in British football right now (that wasn't that brief after all was it)


2 Responses to "Premiership Ups & Downs..."

bet on football Says:

Being a Newcastle fan was never meant to be this hard! just when i thought things were looking up, after the return of legendary Geordie, Kevin Keegan, i go and read this article on some online sports betting company’s website that is already writing off his chances of turning round the clubs fortunes. This got me thinking, after seeing managers sacked after relatively short periods of time and new gaffer’s chances being talked down before even one game in charge, along these lines...

Are the football managers of today given enough time? I personally believe time is the answer - look at fergie at man u and Wenger at arsenal... My beloved Newcastle will never improve unless a manager with reasonable knowledge of the game is given time to put structures in place... I know its a cliché, but these people in the media and at this online football betting site are putting the pressure on Chairmen and club owners to sack managers without thinking about long term managers. It angers me intensely reading the kind of stuff i saw on sporting index this morning! Read it for yourself and let me know what you think...

Anonymous Says:

Eurycoma longifolia has different names in different parts of a country including bidara laut, babi kurus, and tongkat ali. It actually is a flowering plant indigenous to South East Asia, especially Indonesia and Malaysia. Pasak Bumi is truly a small evergreen tree that may well grow up to 15 m (50 feet) in height. All parts about the plant taste bitter but have great medicinal properties. Although it functions as an anti-malarial and anti-diabetic herb just as well, pasak bumi is mostly famous for its ability to enhance libido and enlarge the male vital organ.