We’ve signed who?.......oh no………

Each season there are signings which have fans up in arms, in outrage or in complete and utter despair. Here is a rundown of the dodgiest transfers of the summer so far

Titus Bramble (free)

Many may say that Titus Bramble is the footballing equivalent of McCauley Culkin, in that he showed tremendous promise as a youngster but has never fulfilled his potential. I just prefer to say that he is rubbish. Bramble has been a laughing stock of football for some time now, with Newcastle fans booing him when he was playing and cheering when he was substituted. His arrival at the JJB will strike fear into the hearts and minds of Wigan fans and players alike. Bramble makes errors regularly, and when he does, they tend to be big, very big.

Souness’ decision to partner him with Jean Alain Boumsong probably did little to inspire his confidence but Hutchings choice to make him the lynchpin in a defence fighting for relegation is probably the worst decision since George Bush and Tony Blair decided to invade Iraq. One thing is for sure, there will be goals-a-plenty at the JJB this season. In conclusion, as someone famously once said “in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes and Titus Bramble having a nightmare”

Here is a video full of comedy moments from our favourite comedian.

Michael Chopra (£5m)

Roy Keane has certainly not been messing around in the transfer market this summer, as Sunderland have flexed their financial muscle. Although they finished as champions last year, Sunderland lacked a 20 a goal season man and after pulling out of a move for David Nugent, the Irishman has plumped for Michael Chopra to lead the front line. Chopra had an excellent season last year for Cardiff, but the gulf in class between Premiership and Championship is huge and it is hard to see Keane justifying such a significant outlay. Chopra was bombed out of Newcastle with no other Premiership team willing to take a chance on him and he is going to have to make an early impression to convince the Sunderland faithful that he can provide the goals to stave off relegation.

Craig Bellamy (7.5m)

The season before he signed for Liverpool, Craig Bellamy had an outstanding year at Blackburn and the transfer fee was circa £6m. During last year’s campaign, Bellamy was outshone by Crouch and his ineptitude prompted Rafa to buy Dirk Kuyt. After lasts season’s disappointment he has been shipped out to West Ham for a larger transfer fee of £7.5m. Confused? You are not the only one, although it appears to be a shrewd bit of business by the fat Spaniard.

Bellamy was poor last season, make no bones about it. His on the season failings were coupled with rumours circling about his off the field antics, you don’t need to tell me about the reasoning behind his Nou Camp celebration. The hunchback has a bad reputation within the game and rumours of a return to St James Park even prompted Alan Shearer to spit his dummy out. Now THAT takes some doing. This is a big season for Bellamy to prove his doubters wrong and with Tevez set to depart; the Hammers need a new goalscoring hero. It will also be interesting to see how Alan Curbishley goes about man-managing a player with more rabbit than Watership down…perhaps he should use some golf clubs……

Kieran Richardson (undisclosed)

Just one word. WHY? Although another thing, am I the only person who thinks he looks like little Micah Sanders of Heroes…difference is, Micah actually has a talent.