The British Are Brainless.....

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

Maybe Malouda is actually onto something here, he seems to have unravelled all the problems in English football and English culture in one sensational rant.

Lets analyse what he has said,

"During the actual games [in England] it is as though everybody's brains are switched off,"

Sorry Malouda i think you have got it all wrong, you see you have put brains and english footballers in the same sentence. I seriously doubt that off the pitch Joe Cole and John Terry divulge in intelligent conversation about War and Peace or Crime and Punishment, their brains are constantly turned off.

"People play by instinct, spontaneously, in the way they did when they first discovered football. Training sessions here are terrifying. They are just like matches, and you go flat out."

Many of them have just discovered what real football is, the criteria for being a successful English footballer these days involves being 6 foot tall, as strong and as quick as possible, they then introduce the football to you at the age of 26.

"The people at Chelsea don't control what the players eat,"

Probably the most obvious thing he could have said, I have always wondered why Lampard is as fat as he is, I thought the shoving the pizza in the oven celebration was enough, but giving a man like Fat Frank free license to eat what he wants is simply a recipe for disaster.

And Finally, Malouda attacks the our wonderful English culture.

"I have only just had a phone line put in," he admitted. "Things are not as simple over here as they are in France. You can't just go into a shop and 'bingo' they come round the next day to install your equipment. In a way, I've enjoyed getting myself out of the shit by myself as I have often had to do in my life.

"The traffic in London goes at a snail's pace at times, so sometimes I end up taking the Tube."

To be honest he isn't really lying here is he, took me ages to get my broadband set up in my room and the traffic is an absolute nightmare. As for getting out of shit, I'm not too sure about that, sounds very messy, reminds me of 2 girls and 1 cup(sorry).

2 Responses to "The British Are Brainless....."

Valderrama's Jockstrap Says:

He's spot on with a lot of it....not nearly enough technical training done...weird though when you consider he was brought in under Maureen....you would have thought he would have a more continental approach

celerycelery Says:

It does make alot of of sense, chelsea are the epitome of machine like football, and lampard is a fatty.