Premiership Ups & Downs...

Well, the last weekend of Premiership action of 2007 didn't disappoint..here are the latest Ups & Downs...

Also a mention though to Phil O'Donnell, the Motherwell midfielder who passed away during a game on Saturday afternoon, a truly tragic event. A reminder to all of us that there are more important things than football.

Going Up

Goals, Goals, Goals

Well, after the Xmas festivities, we could perhaps have forgiven the players if they were slightly hungover this weekend. However, this theory was thrown complete out the window as the Premiership served up a veritable orgy of goalmouth action (and not a roasting in sight). There were goals galore which delighted the hordes who had braved it in the terrible weather.

So what is the reason for this sudden goal rush? Well, I have noticed that this upsurge has rather spookily co-incided with the disappearance of Alan Hansen from our screens on Match of the Day. Normally, defenders would be scared shitless of making errors in games, knowing that the Scotsman would hand out the roasting live on National Television later on that evening. However, Hansen has now been replaced by Alan Shearer for the time being. In comparison, Shearer has nowhere near the class of Hansen as a pundit. The Geordie permanently sits on the fence and loves to state the obvious. However, as a former striker he loves goals more than Hansen and the players obviously have realised they will get more praise for goalscoring exploits when Shearer is on MOTD. Whatever the actual reason though, I'm not complaining. Long may it continue.

Berbatov

The Bulgarian showed his class as his 4 goal salvo sealed victory Spurs in a simply ridiculous game against Reading at White Hart Lane. A mixture of the frustrating and audacious, Spurs simply must hold onto this man during the transfer window if they are to continue their slow ascent up their table.

Terrace Humour

I went to see my team play a game on Saturday afternoon and at half time a home supporter asked his girlfriend to marry her in front of the whole crowd. She accepted.

The fans response?

"You don't know what you're doing!"

Simply priceless

Eduardo

Prince scored his first Premiership goals of the campaign as Arsenal resorted to Wimbledon style tactics to overcome Everton after an insipid first half display. Who says that Arsenal don't have a plan B eh? The best finisher in the Premiership?

Kenwyne Jones

Powerhouse display from the big man to help secure a crucial three points for the Black Cats.

Bentley

Is there a more talented English football player in the Premiership right now?

Going Down

Ronaldo and Man Utd

The cheeky winker perhaps received some karma for his recent diving exploits as his horrendous penalty miss proved costly in a sloppy display from the Champions. They were undone by two set pieces to throw the title race back wide open. Rio proved he is not the only person who can hand out the roasting as he got merked by his own brother Anton, who had come on as a substitute.

Fabregas

Not to be outdone by Emmanuel Eboue in terms of being an annoying little shit the little Spaniard reached new depths as his over-reaction against Mikel Arteta resulted in the mercurial playmaker being sent off. Arteta's arm was undoubtedly in Fabregas' face but the way he went down as if he had been caught by a sniper was borderline scandalous. What makes it more unforgivable is the fact that the two are meant to be bum chums, with Xabi Alonso completing the trinity. Can you honestly believe that someone would get their mate sent off like that? It's almost as bad as cock blocking your own mate and then sneaking off with the girl at the end of the night. It remains to be seen whether the two midfielders will kiss and make up in the future.

Liverpool

If Liverpool harbour any ambitions of winning the Premiership they need to...(insert footballing cliche). It's getting a bit boring talking about the abilities that Liverpool lack, the same problems we discuss every season. This was probably a must win game, and how Liverpool did not win this game only god will know. They were totally totally dominant, and if not for the simply outstanding Richard Dunne and the often awful Kuyt it could have been a rout. Many will question Rafa again, why were his tactics so negative early on? What took Liverpool so long to get going? Are they really scared like Hicks suggested? Who knows, but there needs to be a turnaround soon, or it will most definitely be over for another season.

The Chelski linesman

Perhaps Roman handed out a cheeky bribe to the linesman as he inexplicably kept his flag down as Kalou slammed home after being a mere 5 yards offside. How else could the striker have possibly scored otherwise? The result was harsh on Newcastle as the Chelksi home bandwagon rolls on.

Robbie Keane

As much as I love the Irishman as a footballer I think its time to pass on the penalty taking duties.

Reading

Scoring 4 goals and still losing is not an achievement to be be proud of really.

Pompey

As said a couple of weeks ago, watch out for the Pompey slide. They cannot score at home and will soon be without half their team. Don't be surprised to see them slip into the relegation dogfight after Xmas.

Derby

A missed penalty at 1-0 for Derby was punished almost instantaneously by a Rovers equalizer within a matter of seconds. Derby went from near ecstasy to total agony . A bit like banging a bird then realising that she is in fact a man. Like Begbie in Trainspotting, Derby never really recovered and the inspirational Bentley sealed the comeback to leave the Rams firmly rooted to the bottom of the League.

Sunil